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Member Since Dec 19, 2005 Gal Female | Send Message Send Message
Last Login Mar 17, 2012
Location Toronto ON CA
Birthdate 1980-07-03


Journal Waiting List
Entry on Aug 08 2010 08:54
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Journal Waiting List
Entry on Oct 05 2009 06:26
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Journal Waiting List
Entry on Jul 19 2009 08:03
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Journal Weekly Check In - Week 25
Entry on Aug 17 2008 11:37
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Journal Weekly Check In - Week 24
Entry on Aug 10 2008 15:49
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I've been trying to loose weight on and off now for longer than I'd care to admit. It started after I had a bad car accident, then went into physio therapy for a year... if only I had chosen to reduce my calories then, but I really didn't know that the weight would come on so fast then. By the time I had gained the weight I was feeling pretty low, and added a bad boyfriend who ate tonnes himself into the mix all and all that got me up to just under 200 lbs over a year ago, and then through inconsistent weight loss efforts I crept up to 205... It's time for this to go.... I know that I was once a very healthy, very slim person and I'm going to find that person again!


Update (May 2008):


Life happened again. I've obviously had difficulty integrating life choices into .... life. But, past difficulties are not a reason not to try. 




Life this time involved my mum being diagnosed with cancer and me trying to help her though it. She is recovered and cancer free for 1 year now. YAY!. Now, the family with cancer is a pretty damn good excuse for falling off the life change wagon. But, an excuse none the less. 

I don't think this is me being "hard" on myself, just being realistic. 

I gained my weight almost 10 years ago now after a bad accident and a prolonged illness. I was always a skinny kid and have spent 10 years on again off again trying to get back to being that kid. I've let a lot get in the way. Job losses, gains, and changes; family crisis, relationship crisis, financial crisis, vacations, entertainment, friend time, laid back time and a variety of other good and not so good excuses. 

So what is going to make this time different?

If there is one thing I can say for myself it's that I learn. 

First Praise: 

Last time I fell off the wagon I learned that I had to allow myself to make small mistakes during the days. Previously I had tried to loose weight through crash dieting, fanatical exercise, and variations there of. Between 2005 and 2007 I was very successful at putting together a plan that included a balanced diet and reasonable exercise and if I screwed up one day I didn't let it stop me the next. 

Second Learn:

So if I wasn't letting the daily follies get me down, why have I not been on in a year? Well it wasn't the daily follies, it was life. While I was concentrating on changing my diet and physical fitness I was not concentrating as hard on family, friends, career, finances and entertainment. When my mum got sick I spent more time with family, which lead to more time with friends, which made me evaluate what I wanted in life and had me looking at my career, finances and simple me time again. It was simply easier and more fun to concentrate on the other stuff since diet and physical change seemed so hard and time consuming. 

Third Change:

The lesson this time is life balance and pacing. 

I've been very good in the past at putting together a plan that works. As soon as I'm ready to start again my calories are down to 1500 with a balanced diet and 1.5 hrs at the gym each day with 3L of water. This works, but is is too hard I think to go from no concentration to total concentration.

About 3 months ago now I started setting daily goals. Not just for diet and physical fitness but also for household, finances, career and entertainment. The goals are small like doing the dishes, entering my daily expenses, and reading some of a book I've been meaning to. 

I've managed to stay with it with reasonable success. It is much harder than just flooring it on one area and ignoring all the others (which I do very well), but I think I'm happier and feeling more success. Because, although I'm progressing at a slower pace in each of the areas, I feel I'm progressing in all areas, instead of just one at the expense of all others. 

I hope this will let me continue to progress at a reasonable pace without continually burning out in one area, and letting it go for a year (and that area is not always diet & exercise).

For the actual diet and exercise portion I started by figuring out on average in a week how many calories I was eating a day. I started at 3000!!!! Damn!

So each week I've tried to lower that by 100 calories. I got stuck at 2700 for two weeks, and went on vacation for a couple of weeks so this is my third week at 2500 can I'll repeat a fourth week at 2500 again since this has not been a full week of counting. 

I also started back at the gym. At first 1 day per week for 30 min. Each week I added another day until I was up to 4 days per week. I don't plan to aim for more than 4 days per week, since I don't think I could sustain that for longer than a few months without letting "life get in the way". So 4 days per week is an achievable goal. 

When I reached 4 days per week at 30 min per day I started increasing how long I spent at the gym each of the days and I'm now up to 4 days per week at 1.5 hours each day. I'll be doing this next week again since I'm still recovering from not quite getting to this goal each week during the last two weeks of vacation. 

I haven't weighted myself yet. I think if I do I'll be sent into more of a panic and I'll try to speed all of this up way too much so that I'm spending all of my energy on loosing weight / size and then I'll end up burning out again before I achieve my goals.

The scale is locked in the closet.

The goal, to be able to use the scale (because I want to use the scale) is to reach a point where I am going to the gym 4 days a week for 2 hours each day and eating an average of 1,500 calories per day on a weekly average. If I manage to do that consistently for 12 weeks I will allow myself to weigh in and alter my diet or exercise plan accordingly once I have established a patter of weight loss, maintenance or gain so that I can meet my final weight loss / size targets. 

That's the plan. 

Updating the journal is not in the plan, but I'll try to remember now and then. 


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