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Forum Topic Date Replies
Weight Loss Just a quick question Jul 15 2009
04:19 (UTC)

Honestly, you're probably better off writing off yesterday's calories as yesterday's problem, and not trying to "compensate" for them today.  That way lies madness...  ;c)

The Lounge LGBTQ? Jul 15 2009
04:03 (UTC)

Oops! Sorry, wasn't trying to lecture or condescend re: binding, and I'm sorry if it came out that way! (One of my jobs involves working with trans/GQ/allied college students, and I guess sometimes I get a little mother-hen-ish.  *blush*)

The Lounge LGBTQ? Jul 15 2009
02:28 (UTC)

Kaide -

That's the beauty of e-mail notifications: doesn't matter how old the post is, a response will still trigger an e-mail!  :c)  Anyway, good to see you around!

And yeah, what you said in your post was pretty much why I was asking around for trans CCers.  A guy I'm... very close to... recently lost over 100 pounds, and his body shape went from (as he puts it) "made for popping out and suckling a village full of Russian peasant babies" to getting called "sir" or "young man" about 75% of the time.  (Even more recently, with T, it's basically 100%.) Obviously, there were reasons other than gender for him to lose weight, but it's a *really* pleasant perk.

Btw, there was a thread a while back about safe(r) methods of binding - ler-ft126405 - which you might find interesting if you're looking for ways to avoid back pain.  :c)

Weight Loss Gain or lose multiple pounds in a single day? No you didn't Jul 08 2009
02:16 (UTC)

Like dkenworthy, I weigh daily (or daily-ish) precisely *because* of fluctuations.  If I weigh myself weekly, and one week my weigh-in happens to be on a "down" day, while the next is on an "up" day, then I have no way of knowing what was going on in between those points - and it's easier to gain actual weight in a week than in a day, so there's no way to tell the difference between real weight and fluctuations.

With daily weigh-ins, on the other hand, the little blips average out, the pattern is evident, and I know that if my weight keeps rising steadily over the course of a full week or two (rather than zigzagging slightly as it would with water weight), I should consider re-evaluating what I'm doing.

Maybe I'm just a big geek, but I firmly believe that more data points make for better data.  ;c)

Young Calorie Counters too young to know if you are bi/gay? Jun 23 2009
18:09 (UTC)

You make a good point, bmsage - there's a big difference between having a pretty good idea of who you're attracted to and having any idea how to responsibly and maturely act on that attraction.  I don't think 13 is too young for the first, but it's almost certainly too young for the latter.  So, yeah: if a person is bi at 13, hopefully that's just another fact about them, not a call to immediate action.  ;c)

I wanted to talk about friend crushes really briefly.  Yes, of course they exist - undoubtedly.  But I swear, they have been the source of more false hope for parents who wish their kids were straight - and more frustration for those kids - than I can even begin to tell you.  When I first came out to my mother, at 21, she immediately rushed to assure me that it was just a friend crush - and so were all the other girls I mentioned to her over the course of the conversation as candidates for people I might have fancied, growing up - and that I should just put it out of my head.  And I agree, friend crushes can be intense, and consuming.

But please accept my word on this, without too much detail.  As someone who has experienced romantic, sexual, *and* platonic/friend-crushy attraction to men *and* women ... I can tell the difference.  In fact, one reason I came out so comparatively late in life was that I simply stopped being able to persuade myself that I just wanted to be "best friends" with the woman I met at 21 after I realized that the sort of things I wanted our relationship to consist of, at least in part, were *not* the sort of things you do with friends.  I have to believe that at at some point you knew what your intentions were toward your children's father, and that it wasn't really comparable to even the most intense of friendships. 

That's ... what it's like.  ::blushes::


[By the way, my compliments on your kids - it sounds from your description like you've done a great job with them.]

The Lounge Am I destined to be single forever?? Jun 22 2009
04:38 (UTC)

I didn't have my first date until I was 20 (and a half, actually, if we're getting technical Laughing).  Didn't have my first relationship until 21 (lasted 5 months, until I moved away for grad school).

The next person I dated ... well, we've been together almost four years, and we don't plan on stopping any time soon.  *g*

Weight Loss Got called "fat"... feeling insecure Jun 22 2009
04:00 (UTC)

Darlin'?  One question:

Which of you did he think was pretty enough to leave the club with?


Yeah, I thought so.  Wink

Young Calorie Counters too young to know if you are bi/gay? Jun 22 2009
03:35 (UTC)

Hmm, so.  To get back on-topic:

To say that you're bi is, as Robyn Ochs puts it, to "acknowledge that [you] have in [yourself] the potential to be attracted -- romantically and/or sexually -- to people of more than one sex and/or gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree." So, the moment you realize that you have this potential, whatever you plan to do with it or do about it, it makes sense to me to consider identifying as bi.  This could be as early as your very first experiences of romantic attraction.

What's more, it seems like it's easier to know for sure that you're bi earlier than you know for sure that you're gay or straight.  After all, claiming either of those labels means saying that you're reasonably certain that you'll never be attracted to anyone outside of one gender - and it seems like that takes a pretty high standard of proof, no?

Motivation frustrated--always responding to others but never get a response Mar 02 2009
13:22 (UTC)

"I don't do it to be mean or exclusive, just so that I can find someone I can relate least someone who I would be more comparable to in terms of metabolism and energy needs."

I don't think pg's point was that you were being mean - just that there are a lot more 5'7" girls out there than there are shorties like us.  So if the, like, 10 people our height aren't online - or, worse, the maybe three who are short and trying to gain rather than lose - well, there goes your response rate!  (Note that I'm completely making up these numbers.  But you know what I mean.)

Also... of the 18 threads you've started, only three have gone without responses.  Some have gotten as many as 16 or 20.  Perhaps you're not getting the *kind* of support you feel you need?  (Or - to borrow a term from a thread of yours - your "compulsive checking/replying/posting" makes it seem like nothing's happening because you're hitting refresh all the time, only to find that, thirty seconds later, nothing has changed?)


Weight Loss Is it possible Feb 21 2009
16:50 (UTC)

Re: ketogenic diets, I just want to point out that ketones in one's urine are usually a sign you should be going to the hospital, not a wedding.

Motivation Positive Self Talk Feb 21 2009
16:45 (UTC)

My view is that you should treat yourself as if you were your best friend.

Or, failing that, a trick I learned from Kate Bornstein in Hello Cruel World - even if you genuinely don't feel love for yourself in a particular moment, "treat yourself like you would treat an honored guest in your house."  Seriously, a lot of us treat people we don't even love a lot better than we treat ourselves.

Weight Loss Teenagers naturally gain weight?! Feb 19 2009
14:33 (UTC)

Tealpenguin - you say you've already got a pretty mature body, which I take to mean that you have post-pubescent curves.  Ok, good.  Myself, I was a C-cup by the time I started high school.  I understand completely.

What you probably don't have, as many of the other commenters have pointed out, is adult bone structure, which typically develops *after* adolescent fat redistribution.  Take hips, for example: the way archaeologists tell a female skeleton from a male skeleton is the widening of the pelvis/how far the hips are spread apart (wide enough, that is, for a baby to fit through).  This pretty much sets in, if your body progresses normally, after you have enough body fat/breast tissue that you'd be able to carry a baby to term and feed it afterwards. (Not to mention after you've started ovulating.)  Developmentally, it wouldn't make sense for us to be scheduled to have our hips widen *before* we'd gotten set up for baby-making in other ways first.

What this means in non-evolutionary-bio terms is that you don't have to "let yourself go" to gain a pants size (for example) in high school; in fact, it's a sign that you're developing normally.  Besides, you're talking half a dress size here, not four or five sizes up; what if you have a choir performance during TTOM and you're too bloated to fit into a dress that's sized smaller than your normal measurements?

Weight Loss Pros and Cons of Weight Loss While Single Feb 19 2009
14:17 (UTC)

Oh, but dondons - when you're single, potentially everyone will be able to see it!  Think of this as your opportunity to show off to whomever you choose - when you're partnered, you mostly only get to show off to one person at a time.  :c)

Foods dessert teas Feb 17 2009
23:41 (UTC)

Sealion -

I wanna try the chili chocolate tea though, where do you get that brand?? Also, is B=bigelow...because I couldn't find that valentine tea :(

If you click on the links, both of those are available online.  (I got the chili chocolate as a Valentine, though. Kiss )

Foods dessert teas Feb 17 2009
15:42 (UTC)

If you like Mayan Cocoa Spice, you'll probably enjoy TeaGschwender Chili Chocolate Tea, which I'll admit I'm a little obsessed with right now. It's not sweet in itself, though.

Some options which might suit you better:

Bigelow's Vanilla series - Vanilla Chai / French Vanilla / Vanilla Almond / Vanilla Caramel / Vanilla Hazelnut

B's White Chocolate Kisses tea (also seasonal, but for Valentine's Day, which means you should still be able to get it)

Celestial Seasonings' Special Occasion Tea Collection (minus the seasonal ones, there's Almond Sunset, English Toffee, Vanilla Hazelnut, Chocolate Raspberry Bliss, and Vanilla Strawberry Rose - though the last two might not be your style)

CS Chai series, especially Chocolate Caramel Enchantment / Honey Vanilla White Chai

Misc CS teas like Honey Vanilla Chamomile / Canadian Vanilla Maple (Decaf Black)

Nearly any flavored black tea from Tealuxe (my favorites: Ceylon Irish Cream, Pumpkin Spice Chai, Creme de la Earl Grey, and Caramel Creme Brulee)


There.  That should be enough to start with.  ;c)

Motivation Stupid pants... Feb 17 2009
13:59 (UTC)

First of all, with enough layers of tights, you can wear skirts in almost any weather.  Trust me - I live in Chicago and almost never wear pants.  Smile

Second, to the OP, I don't have the magic answer to your underlying question (the "why am I doing this?" question), but may I make a suggestion?  Next time you feel the urge to buy a "treat" meal that you don't actually want and know you'll feel grumpy about later, what if you figured out the price and put half of it aside toward a gorgeous new pair of pants?  (Use the other half to buy yourself a little, immediate, healthier treat.)  That way, you'll have two things to feel proud of: not getting in your own way food-wise, and (soon) a new, flattering wardrobe.  (Possibly three, if you're the sort of person who sees budgeting as an accomplishment... I see it as an irritant and a necessaryish evil, so that doesn't help me!)

Just a thought... :c)

Health & Support CAN someone REASSURE me PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Feb 16 2009
12:06 (UTC)

"And you're not super-round-faced at all, you look very pretty."

Well, I'd like to think they're not mutually exclusive.  Tongue out  (That's me trying to accept a compliment - I think what I should say is actually "thank you.")

In any event, what I meant was that my face shape sometimes gives a false impression of my weight, which isn't the best thing if Chrissy's already worried about the visible effects of weight gain.  Honestly, comparing pictures, I think you two are both similar in terms of your face shapes: oval and fine-boned.

Also - pompoms are never optional.  Pompoms are srs bznss.  ;c)

Health & Support CAN someone REASSURE me PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Feb 16 2009
11:18 (UTC)

Well, not that I can top Lala's always-fabulous advice, but my perspective as a fellow under-five-footer: you definitely don't look chubby in the slightest.  In fact, there's a little "buffer room" there, where you could still gain more weight and look slender.

For comparison, in my picture, I'm 4'11" and about 140.  (I'm also super-round-faced at any weight - thanks genetics! - and posing in a way that makes my coat not fit quite right.)  I'm trying to get down to 120-125, though honestly, I'm pretty happy with the way I look now at 133. 

So the moral of the story is that you have quite a long way to go before you could be *remotely* considered chubby, let alone grossly overweight.  The other moral of the story, of course, is that Team CC is rooting for you!  Laughing

Weight Loss Weight, the day after exercising Feb 09 2009
01:30 (UTC)

Huh.  I guess I never thought water would be that big of an issue one way or another since I'm not sweating much - when I say "nice weather," I mean "anything over 40 degrees," and I'm strolling, not sprinting.  But I'll give the drinking-more-water thing a try, since I'm getting the sense everyone pretty much agrees on that.  Smile

Sybil - don't worry, I don't let it stress me out that much.  (Or rather, the weight doesn't stress me out as much as not being able to figure it out!  So hopefully I'll be better now.  *grin*)

Recipes Hummus Recipes Feb 02 2009
02:39 (UTC)

Less a hummus recipe than a hummus manifesto ... but it's so, so true: -weather-cookery-virtuous-hummus/

(and, yes, she does actually talk about how to make it Laughing )


(edit: fixed link)