Posts by lostpumpkins


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Forum Topic Date Replies
The Lounge Chores - what can wait, what has to be done? Mar 09 2016
13:38 (UTC)
6
Dishes have to be done before bed. Mostly because I have to wash bottles anyway, so I might as well do the rest. But also because it just bothers me to leave them.

Laundry only gets done on the weekends. There's just really no time to wash, dry and put away a load during the week.

I try to wipe down the counters every night and pick up toys. But really...I don't clean too much during the week. I just try to manage the mayhem, then handle everything on the weekends.
The Lounge I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But Chat awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me Feb 19 2016
20:05 (UTC)
12
A good fit is worth the price...if you have the dough. I don't, usually. And unfortunately it was much easier to find cute, flattering and cheap clothes when I was smaller.

It's been so long since I was plus sized, I had forgotten the struggle!! Like damn. And you're totally right Pav...it's either way too revealing ("trendy") or polyester and floral and bedazzled. I want classic, as well. I loved being able to shop at The Limited when I was smaller because everything they have is something I could wear forever.

Sigh.
The Lounge I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But Chat awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me Feb 19 2016
19:08 (UTC)
23
I really love maxi dresses...lol.
The Lounge I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But Chat awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me Feb 19 2016
19:07 (UTC)
24
My stomach is much more of an issue now than it ever was before. Even when I was fat, I was proportional more or less. And I lost weight pretty evenly from everywhere.

Not thus time. Everything is getting smaller but my belly.
The Lounge I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But Chat awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me Feb 19 2016
18:58 (UTC)
27
I've decided I want pizza tonight.
The Lounge I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But Chat awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me Feb 19 2016
18:57 (UTC)
28
Pav, my pants are unbuttoned too!!

I hate the way pants feel when I sit down in them. Even if they aren't tight (but these are a little, size smaller).

One day I forgot and stood up to greet a visitor with all my jiggles bulging out. Gah.
The Lounge I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But Chat awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me Feb 19 2016
15:54 (UTC)
117
Oh no...I was never really a chat vet/regular. But there were tons of people in chat every.single.day and some of them were my favorites.

I was more of a thread starting drama disaster. Thank God those days are behind me.
The Lounge I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But Chat awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me Feb 19 2016
15:53 (UTC)
118
Lol. Well hello to you too.

I remember thinking the same thing back in the day, about the side conversations. It was really hard to wedge myself in anywhere. But that was usually because I couldn't actually chat...I would be in and out. And by the time I'd pop back in, it was like...10 pages away from the last time I had piped in.
The Lounge I'm just a little unwell I know right now you can't tell But Chat awhile and maybe then you'll see A different side of me Feb 19 2016
15:50 (UTC)
122
Where is everyone?! Chat used to be hopping!!

I miss it. I have to be more careful with Internet usage at my new joint of employment and it's not as much fun on my phone.

I hope everyone is doing well! Pav, I've been checking for a journal update. Oh and by the way...where is TB (Elaine)?
The Lounge Rest in Peace, KathyGator. Aug 31 2015
02:55 (UTC)
28

Ouch.

She was lovely and kind. She could scold you with one breath and then turn right around give you a compliment that would make you glow for the rest of the day. I was an **** when I first came around and she said as much...but then she also saw my hurt and my talents. She saw people for all of the wonderful and awful things they were all at once.

She gave me a great example of the type of person I'd like to strive to be:  sassy, warm and tough.

My heart hurts for her boys. 

The Lounge Apartment Etiquette Dec 29 2014
21:38 (UTC)
1
Original Post by theviewfromhere:

i've owned houses. i don't ever want to own another house.

pumpkins, i know you just moved in recently, but you might want to start looking for a better building. the reality of apartment living is that there will almost always be a noisy neighbour, but with quality construction, they bug you a lot less.

also try to get a place on or near the top floor. as bad as your situation sounds, better that the noisy neighbour is below rather than above you.

I actually got lucky.  There is only one building in the whole complex with only two floors (not sure why or how), and I'm in it.  Second floor in the back.

I actually really like the wi-fi idea....lol.

The Lounge Apartment Etiquette Dec 19 2014
13:40 (UTC)
10

Everyone else in my building is quiet and keeps to themselves.  I haven't even seen half of them and haven't heard a peep from anyone else.  I guess I'm lucky in that regard.

At first, I assumed that someone was having a domestic dispute or an argument when it happened.  And then I realized how often it was happening.  One night, their door slammed like, five times in a row and I actually came out to see what was happening.  I saw a trail of kids--about Paytons age and a few older--trailing out of their apartment and to a car waiting outside.  I guess they all had to walk out individually and each had to slam the door for themselves??

 

Actually...in regards to the little one...there have been a few times that I was seriously concerned.  And I wondered about that, too.  I hate to be the nosy neighbor who calls CPS, but there have been times that I felt pretty sure something abusive was happening.  I get a very unsettled feeling about it.  But I also know that some people just scream at their kids a lot...and some kids cry more than others...and it could just sound worse than it is coming through the floor.

 

The Lounge Apartment Etiquette Dec 19 2014
13:36 (UTC)
11
Original Post by knowan:

I'm sorry to hear that you're living in the apartment above my sister's place.


Ha.  That made me giggle.

The Lounge Apartment Etiquette Dec 18 2014
21:33 (UTC)
19

Uggghhhh....

The mom is kinda scary :(  I was hoping you'd all suggest something that required much less bravery.

I don't get the door slamming.  How can people not realize they are doing that?  Or do they realize and think that it's actually the only way to shut a door?  It's loud and pretty hard on a door and doorframe over time....

The Lounge Ferguson grand jury has reached a decision *Update* No indictment, rampant looting Dec 02 2014
21:18 (UTC)
272
Original Post by amwick:

Either you believe that there was just cause for deadly force or you don't.  So the way I see it, short of a body cam video, nothing will ever prove conclusively  what happened.   That makes sense.  I mean there are things that kind of lean one way or another, but nothing is absolute. Because the investigation could be faulty, the witnesses could be pressured, the witnesses could be coached, the DA could be prejudiced and the Grand Jury could be given a set of facts to ensure a desired outcome.

That means that any white officer/black shooting without a camera present will automatically mean guilt for the officer.  Automatically.  Why bother with the pretense of an investigation, or a grand jury, or a trial?  The officer is automatically at fault because nothing can prove his/her choice to use deadly force, nothing short of clear video. 

God help the police.


Agree with this 1000%

The Lounge Parenting woes.... Nov 26 2014
13:51 (UTC)
5

Thanks guys for all of the responses and suggestions.

 

I've had many conversations with Payton about his "job" at school.  I've stressed to him that schoolwork isn't optional and that he is required to do what is asked of him (or to at least try...I don't want him to panic if he gets an assignment he doesn't understand...but I do want to see an effort).  I'm concerned that later down the road, it's going to turn into a "behavior issue".  We--the school and I--are all in agreement that he has learning disabilities...but I don't think those disabilities give him an excuse to "refuse" (or decline, or neglect) to do work. 

He just doesn't seem to take anything seriously.  Which, I mean, he's ten, so he's not really supposed to.  But I know plenty of other kids his age, and younger, who still seem to understand the importance and necessity of actually doing schoolwork.  It sort of boggles my mind that he just doesn't.  I guess I've done a really crappy job of teaching him responsibility.  The funny (ironic really) thing is that when he was younger, I was much harder on him...perhaps too hard sometimes.  Which is why now, I'm so hesitant to bring the hammer down on him.

 

I thought about it a lot last night and we're just going to have to toughen up on him.  For his own sake.  Nothing extreme, but the fact of the matter is that he does get extra help at school...his school does make allowances for his disabilities...and he's still not willing to do his part, for whatever reason. 

I'm going to sit him down this weekend and have a conversation with him about responsibility.  I want him to begin to see cause and effect...see how changing behaviors can yield alternate outcomes.  I think that after Thanksgiving break, I'm going to go ahead and take some beloved tv and video game time away and see if we can't do better.  :(

The Lounge Parenting woes.... Nov 25 2014
18:23 (UTC)
18
Original Post by spoiled_candy:

You said he likes to draw.  Why not try this and see if it works.
When he comes come from school let him draw/ paint/ colour for an hour.  Let him use this talent to get his feelings out about school.  Instead of asking him about his day, ask him to paint his day.  Since words are hard for him to express this may give you more of a clue on how his day went than anything he could say.

I think the punishment should not apply to school work because grades are not a very good point system.  Unless you need grades for university, that is a different story.  He probably absorbs more then you know, he just can't express it.

Take care

Another good idea!

The Lounge Parenting woes.... Nov 25 2014
18:22 (UTC)
19

Hmmm....

I like the monopoly money idea, for sure.

And yes, weekly meetings/reports would be nice.  His teacher is very unorganized and seems not to care for me.  I have emailed her in the past and gotten no reply, ever.  And then, out of nowhere, she'll email me something scathing...as if I had never contacted her prior.  It's a very weird dynamic.

 

Why is the idea of a people pleaser scary?  I don't mean it in any extreme way...I think a lot of kids say what they think adults want to hear in situations where they are in trouble or when they are asked to explain themselves.

The Lounge Parenting woes.... Nov 25 2014
18:02 (UTC)
23
Original Post by runoff55:

What's Paytons' take on the situation?


Sigh.

Conversations are hard.  Payton has language issues coupled with an intense desire to please/say what you want to hear.  So, if I scold him...his immediate response is, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

He's not able to verbalize why or how thing happen...or to say, for instance, "I did this because of that."  If I ask him why he doesn't do his work, the most common answer I get is, "I don't know."

And I think that there are so many things at play that he probably doesn't really know.  He's bored, he's overwhelmed, he doesn't understand the material, he prefers to draw, it's habit, he's lazy, etc, etc.  What I need him to understand is that none of those things get him a get-out-of-schoolwork-free card.

I've taken TV and video games away before.  Like I said, we've never done any sort of restrictions or punishments long term, so I can't say that they haven't been effective...we just didn't stick with it long enough for it to work.

The Lounge Parenting woes.... Nov 25 2014
17:58 (UTC)
24
Original Post by nomoreexcuses:

Just remember that all hope is not lost. Not yet.

I wasn't a very good student (mostly Cs, occasional other grades) until I had a serious situation that almost made me repeat the 6th grade, after which, I turned over a brand new leaf and became a straight A student for the rest of my academic career - got academic scholarships and everything.

Sometimes I'll have a student who is not doing well and complaining about the paper they're supposed to write and I cheerfully tell them,

Don't worry - we'll always need fast food workers. And there is no shame in an honest job and an honest day's work. You won't make much money, but money can't buy you happiness.

Sometimes I wonder if it wouldn't be a good intervention to have a little taste of child labor. Like, if a kid won't do any school work, tell them, Since you have no interest in learning, we're going to let you go ahead and work a bit and earn some money. I suspect that this would all of a sudden inspire in them a burning desire to learn things. Or if not, maybe find their calling as a farmhand, seamstress or miner.


I actually like the idea of this.  Lol.  I can just imagine....

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