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Posts by larienkoci

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New Members Hey there, here's my story... Jan 09 2012
16:18 (UTC)

To start your exercise, I'd suggest this: ir-dancing-lifes-a-celebration-6018

This video is very low impact, you do aerobic moves while seated in a chair. I am making the assumption that your feet hurt from carrying your weight and anything that's really painful won't last so to tell you to walk may not serve the best interest. So, start by doing this light workout in the comfort of your home where there's no need for embarrassment.

Next, there are a TON of calories in alcohol, you are wasting calories when you drink. Maybe you should write in your journal, all the reasons why you drink and think about how to do something less damaging to your health to cope with the emotions you are drinking and eating.

About eating, only you can stop you from eating what you know you shouldn't. I think that a gradual approach to dietary changes is best. So, be diligent, when you'd normally eat a large french fry, order a medium progress to ordering a small then switch up to baked lays chips (large french fry: 500 calories baked lays chips 140).


  • If you feel like you NEED to do this....chances of success may be smaller than if you WANT to do this. If you want it bad enough and are willing to work toward your goals over the long haul, you have a great chance of success.
  • Remember as one door closes (unhealthy food) another door opens (an unexplored world of healthy food). This isn't a prison term, it's life and it's time to explore new ways of eating and new ways of being.
  • It takes a long time....I've been at it for years and am still not where I want to be because I have commitment issues with fat loss. You may flounder awhile too but once you get it in your can do this.
  • Another approach to this sacrifice is to start by picking a day of the week when you aren't going to eat anything fried or if you need smaller steps pick one fried food that you won't eat on that day. Gradually increase the number of things you are not going to eat and the number of days each week you don't eat those things.
  • Don't compare yourself to anyone else, don't think of this as unfair that so and so gets to have doughnuts or has to work less to get the same results. This is your journey and the comparison is just a stumbling block.
  • Best advice I've gotten is change your mind...change your life. So much easier said than done. You've got a daunting journey ahead of you...don't let that stop you from beginning. Take each meal at a time, make better decisions each time. Find a way to be active each day (and that doesn't mean going to work). They say that if you can do something for 10 minutes 3 times a day you can reap health rewards. 10 minutes isn't much so this should be your starting point. Aim to do some "exercise" for 10 minutes 2 or 3 times a day.

You can succeed if you will allow yourself to do so.

Best of luck to you!

Motivation 5 reasons why you want to lose weight Jan 09 2012
14:01 (UTC)
Original Post by vtov586:

Uh, the last thing I have is a self-esteem problem! I'm beautiful and have a very good sense of fashion. People are always sweating my style. I am very intelligent, make good life decisions and usually the life of the party. People like to be around me. My supervisor frequently comes to my cube to run my co-workers away so we'll get back to work. I'm usually the one that suggests and organizes outings with my friends. I know people will always try to find something to put me down because they're just jealous of me and really wish they were me.

I am sorry for making an assumption. I am very glad that you hold yourself up high and that this really doesn't bother you. Way to go!

Motivation 5 reasons why you want to lose weight Jan 09 2012
14:00 (UTC)

The responses are great and they've made me think of a few things in my own life - like being a role model for my child and to strive to have the health to be able to do more and experience more in life. The extra motivation is terrific!

The Lounge Something Fun~ 15 facts about yourself. Jan 05 2012
20:23 (UTC)
  1. I have a concealed handgun carry permit and I do conceal carry
  2. I love my family
  3. I want to be obsessed with finding a way to lose weight but I am not a type A personality.
  4. I love to cook
  5. I enjoy whitewater kayaking and downhill skiing
  6. I am geek to the core ...DragonCon I always want to be there
  7. I love being spring, summer and fall
  8. I do not like winter --when I am not skiing
  9. I love digital cameras and am fascinated by all things digital photography
  10. I am a computer tech by day job even though I have a biochemistry degree
  11. I met my husband in an internet study group forum for a certification linked to my job because my company wouldn't pay for training (so thankful about that in retrospect).
  12. My husband and I share the same birth date...same day...same year
  13. I want to travel and most of all I want to see the northern lights
  14. I love nature's beauty especially waterfalls
  15. I want to learn how to sew so I can make quilts, but I don't have the time
Motivation 5 reasons why you want to lose weight Jan 05 2012
13:05 (UTC)
Original Post by vtov586:

1. I want my 'friends' to stop putting me down and talking to me as if i'm stupid because I'm overweight.

This one, I've never seen before and it stands out. The reason that it stands out is that I have a cousin that is very shapely and closer to BMI of 18 rather than over weight. Her friends talk to her like she's stupid too because she has natural red hair. This has always bothered doesn't bother her though or at least she hasn't ever mentioned it. She seems to roll with the punches. But, I think at some point the banter can have a negative impact on a person's self-esteem. Maybe you are at this point? I really doubt that the banter will stop just because you lose weight so you need to find those within the group that can be supportive and spend more time with them rather than those noisy friends that aren't doing anything to make you feel good about yourself.

I admit though, the reason listed above sounds like really great motivation. To reclaim self-esteem from a society to hasty with nasty remarks or attitudes. Good luck to you!

Weight Loss Need help planning a menu Jan 04 2012
16:05 (UTC)

I have struggled with this more than any other part in my weight loss journey. Diet suggestions that I find never work well for me as most include something that lives in water which I don't like.

I am still finding my way with this but a couple of suggestions are:

  1. Find out how many calories you really need for your day
  2. Research food to understand how different foods can be used to meet that calorie need

After you have this part of the equation, you must prepare stuff ahead of time. Like a couple of others, I cook my food before the day I will be eating it and then I weigh it and it goes in ziploc baggies. I label each baggy with the calories in the food that's in it then I can play mix and match to meet my calorie need, making sure poultry products are eaten within 3 days, pork in 4 days etc. I prefer the ziploc baggy thing because it gives flexibility since meals aren't in the same container it is easier to choose different sides for the protien. I dump my food onto microwave plate (often paper plate at work) when I am ready to eat.

More advice:

  1. Resistant starches aren't bad for you no matter how many people preach their evilness. Potatoes and corn grow in the ground and therefore are good just make sure you don't: deep fry the potatoes or dump too much butter in them or claim that a potato chip is a potato. Potatoes are a nutritional powerhouse loaded with potassium and fiber. They keep you full. Best of all, a yukon gold potato 156 grams has about 110 calories about the same as a single slice of wheat bread and I promise the potato will stay with you longer than a single slice of bread.
  2. Eat protein. Nothing keeps me full longer than an egg at breakfast or beans/lentils/chicken or turkey breast at dinner.
  3. Eat your fruit. We all get a sweet tooth and fruit CAN help with it and it is less than 1/2 the calories of any cherry pie/doughnuts/cookie out there. It will help you feel like you are getting sweets! Grab a cup of diced peaches in light syrup and add 1/2 teaspoon of almond powder. For me this is like eating yummy sweet peach cobbler but without the calories and fat. (70 calories for the container of delmonte peaches and 8 calories for the almond powder - found at any Asian market). Another wonderful idea for the sweet tooth, take sugar spot bananas --read old browning bananas -- throw them in blender and blend until about the consistency of pudding. Toss that into freezer and let soft freeze and top with 1/2 tbsp of agave nectar with 1 tsp --or more according to what you like ---cocoa powder. It is like having ice cream with chocolate topping with 110 calories in banana and 30 calories for agave nectar and about 4 calories for the cocoa powder.
  4. Eat your veggies. It is nice to get a plate that's full and not breaking the calorie piggy bank. Load it up with fresh salad, corn, asparagus, beans, sweet green peas, edamame, tomatoes, etc. When you see a full plate, you don't feel like you are skimping on food. It is a mental trick that really works for me.
  5. Eat your grains. We need fiber in our diets to avoid horrible complications like diverticulitis, chron's disease or uclerative colitis. Brown rice, bulgar wheat, barley, quinoa, millet, oats, grits, etc are all very pliable to any taste/pallet. They pretty much just take the tastes of the spices around them. They don't have to be bland with exciting spices like basil and cumin.


Motivation 5 reasons why you want to lose weight Jan 04 2012
15:25 (UTC)

Thanks everyone for sharing their reasons. I love this and I find it deeply motivating to know that I am not alone in WHY I want to do this. It seems we all want to look better, feel sexy, avoid disease/improve health, have the confidence we know will come with a different body image, enjoy shopping, and live longer with a higher quality of life. I hope that each of you remember to check this thread when motivation runs thin or at least copy into your journal.

Motivation 5 reasons why you want to lose weight Jan 03 2012
20:11 (UTC)

Awesome reasons...keep them in mind whenever you REALLY want that brownie or pizza!

Foods Can Couscous make you overweight? Jan 03 2012
19:46 (UTC)

Couscous is just pellets of spaghetti so it has the same risks for weight gain.

Weight Loss Hey Guys, Men Really Are Different Than Women! Dec 23 2011
15:39 (UTC)

Okay ladies: I know I am going to get blasted for this because everyone likes the original post and believe me, in the past I have felt EXACTLY the same. However, there are a few things that have kind of changed my point of view:

I'd like to ask: why - if women have such a harder time losing weight - how in the world did we ever have a female biggest loser (or 3 - if you count at home Helen) when they are competing against men?

Hubby and I did a weight loss challenge to see what the end results would be. We measured in percentage not pounds. I kicked his butt! 13 pounds off a 131 pound woman (9.9%) is a larger percentage than 20 pounds off a 214 pound man (9.3%).

I think 3500 calorie deficit feels the same for all of us. I have watched my husband struggle with weight loss. I will admit that it sucks that he gets 300 more calories a day on a diet. To put that in perspective though: he IS bigger than me and he needs more When he's running a 500 calorie deficit it feels the same. The biggest difference he didn't give in to temptation as often as I did and he copes with being hungry better than I. He's less emotional about the hunger.

Men and women process stress differently. I think men are more aggressive in their coping skills where women tend to eat their emotions. This is a huge pitfall for me. This mental not physical reason made it harder for me to stay on track. Life is full of stress for both genders!

Men get a 10% boost from muscle mass, that means ladies have to work 10% harder and stay 10% more committed to our diets. Women gain muscle too and we get the same metabolic boost from each pound of muscle as men. It is time to pick up the weights!

Last thing that I took away from the challenge: I was more obsessed (read emotional) about eating and exercising than he seemed to be. I spent time reading countless tomes of information about diet/nutrition/exercise/motivation/success stories where he didn't. If I'd spent the time I spent reading in a gym... what would the final tally be? Hubby spent his time doing something. I think that was a huge difference between us. I definitely think men are like Nike, they just do it whereas women at least myself....don't. We need encouragement/motivation/partnership...we need some emotional relationship to inspire us. Why?



The Lounge Dealing With Rude People...Please Help Dec 21 2011
15:15 (UTC)

Only advice I have for ya is:

You cannot control other people, you can only control the way you react to them.

I work in IT support and mine is truly a thankless job where I only hear from people that are angry/frustrated and forget that I am actually a human. Having done this for 15 years, I just don't tie myself up in their comments/ condescending tone/ remarks. I've accepted that there are stupid people in the world and that I am not one of them. I refuse to behave like they do. I do sometimes remind them, hey there I am here to help you if you don't want to work with me or think that I may not be able to help you are more than welcome to try again - let me get my manager. Luckily for me, there's 2 of us here and my manager is a nasty son of a b*#&h and no one wants to deal with him after the first time so they are usually a LOT nicer to me afterward. In customer service, there's always the option to talk to someone else -period.

Last point: when you get irritated, your cortisol levels go up and your heartbeat/blood pressure elevate and you are feeling the fight/flight response to stress. Guess what....the people causing that response...they don't give a damn and guess what else, that response...getting emotionally tied up in their stupidity...only HURTS YOUR health especially in the long run over and over again. So think about the fact that you aren't really the cause for the attitude and it only escalates when they get you emotionally involved. Step away from that and save your own health and let them be idiots. You don't have to live with them and most likely you don't love them so why does it matter to you what they think? This is my attitude....I refuse to let some low life harm my health when I can control of the situation.

The Lounge Flirting for the aesthetically challenged Dec 21 2011
14:57 (UTC)

To put things in my perspective: when I was 17 my bf and I were watching music video and the comment about the video he made has stuck in my head since (I'm 40). He said as he was watching the lady dance in the video, she's hot --yes she had a wonderful body, nice curves etc but that wasn't the thing that captivated him the thing that got him was the way she moved. She was sexy, graceful and practically doing a lap dance with the car in the video but he was turned on by the dance. Fast forward 30 years or so...hubby and I were talking about some of our friends. He mentioned that he was intrigued by the dance movements of our friend. He found it sexy and exciting. Again, the person was graceful and sexy...natural born dancer even though she is some 25 pounds overweight.

Bone structure and physical beauty are initial "hooks" for social encounters, but there's so much more that defines human experience. You cannot change what YOU think is unattractive ---perhaps others don't find it as unattractive as you do. So don't judge others before you get to know them. After you know them you can make the decision about whether or not they find you gross (your words). And also think of things that you can control. I will never be an elegant dancer - that is not my strong point. But there is so much more to me that it's not important that I am not a dancer to either myself nor my husband. However, I do control other things about me. Things that I am good at and things that endear my husband to me. I am sure that there's more to you than how you feel about yourself so find those things and capitalize on them and - let me repeat myself - don't judge others until you know them - you have no idea what they may consider sexy and things that my clash with your idea of sexy.  Oh another example before I forget....a friend in college only liked heavy women. He did not find super models sexy at all he preferred 20-30 pounds over weight. I always thought that was odd but that's what he was attracted to had nothing to do with his self esteem. It was just what he was wired to like...he was just made that way. Himself, he was not over weight at all - maybe a little underweight but he liked the (his words) squishy ones the ones with a little cushion to hold on to. Just goes to show ya, you just don't know what someone else thinks is sexy.


The Lounge Photos of ex girlfriends Dec 21 2011
14:29 (UTC)

I am in my 40s and I still have bits and pieces of my past relationships so does my husband. We never hide your bf didn't hide them either. These are just pieces of our life and I have no desire to go back to anyone before my husband. He feels the same. We've looked at pictures of our ex's together. I have never felt threatened by pictures nor do I care that he's kept them.

I was in an extremely controlling relationship in the past and that guy found love letters/pictures from ex and he destroyed them. Thing is those letters and pictures were of a man who was dead and buried in the ground - killed in car wreck. But my control freak BF was so jealous of a dead man talking that he burnt pieces of my life. I am so glad I did not stay in that relationship long.

You have to accept the fact that as we get older chances increase that we've loved someone before....end of story. We don't have the feel like the only girl in the world we just have to feel like the most important one  Tongue out I absolutely would NOT worry period. Even if you happen to see pictures of him and his ex together that have been tossed in the "keep" pile. It is okay that we've loved long as you feel loved right now. The time to worry is when you find him out on a date with an ex or on the phone having phone sex with ex. I'd say that would be grounds to worry...old pictures not so much. 

Fitness Mountain climbers. Dec 20 2011
13:06 (UTC)

Mountain climbers are a good core workout. Here is what I found from the web:

Livestrong: If you perform three sets of 15 to 20 mountain climbers on the floor, you can expect to burn approximately 50 calories. Read more: many-calories-do-you-burn-doing-mountain-clim bers/#ixzz1h4zWXwEC

Fitclick:Calories Burned:  466 calories per hour  (based on a body weight of 150 lbs.)


Remember that calories burned is dependent on how much you weigh and how vigorous the exercise being done.

Weight Loss I need advice and/or tips :^( Dec 20 2011
12:56 (UTC)

I agree with Danny, you don't get to choose where you gain or lose fat. About the only thing you can do is make sure to have a diet that supports muscle development and try to "bulk" areas that are lacking. We all have different body types and it sounds like you have a pear shape at this time. As you mature, you may have a more balanced body but I'd say what you have is what you get. I had a friend just like you in high school, well she never under went weight loss because she was always at a good weight back then. Our freshman year (14-15 yo), she looked balanced. By our senior year, her body had developed like her mother's -- she had a caboose/thighs and not much else. We are now in our 40s and she is about 3 times the size she was in high school, but she still has the pear shape it is just much larger. I don't want to sound like there's no hope but I tell you so that you can focus your attention on what you can do --workout; rather than fret about what you cannot change --pear shape.

Motivation Dieting vs. Dating Dec 14 2011
14:05 (UTC)

I agree with the suggestion to know what is healthy on a few menus that way if she picks a restaurant at last moment, you will know what fits into your calorie day.

Putting a healthy lifestyle first doesn't mean you cannot spend time with this lovely lady. If you want to get her involved without mentioning diet and exercise, suggest a trip to the local mega-mall wear a pedometer and check it in the bathroom to make sure you've walked a mile or 2 before dinner. She will be with you, spending time shopping and won't know that you are actually on a walking calorie burn routine. You can also suggest bowling, ice skating, roller skating, tour a museum and rock climbing at your local climb gym. Again, you won't be suggesting diet and exercise, just a night out doing something BEFORE dinner. You can also find an indoor pool where you could spend sometime burning calories doing something she enjoys in the summer and you know pools are a great place to flirt.

When the weather is better your choices are better too. You can find places to hike, play Frisbee, swim, kayak, canoe, bicycling, the options here are pretty endless.

What I am saying is that losing weight and living healthy doesn't have to be behind gym doors. There are a 1000 ways to get in calorie burn and all you have to do is do it and do it together without mentioning exercise and diet. When you guys find active things that you really enjoy together, life will be easier.

Later in the evening, spark romance by suggesting a trip to the store and cooking dinner together. Serve dinner under candlelight with nice wine and see where it ends...maybe another calorie burn *evil grin*. Then comment on how much that meant to you because knowing that our other half is happy, encourages behavior. Who knows, maybe this will become the norm rather than the exception.

Fitness Exercising with an RC injury Nov 15 2011
20:59 (UTC)

I too had a shoulder injury. PT 4 times a week 8 weeks. It's hard to do a lot because everything hurts because of jarring. However, cycling/spinning, walking and kick-board for swimming worked for me. It is amazing the kind of workout you can get doing holding on to a kick-board!

You will want to use your shoulder in mild exercise...I did a LOT of extra PT exercises at home. My shoulder is almost 100% rehabilitated with the only lasting effect of loss of motion in one direction...but I don't put my hands behind my back often so I don't realize how much motion that I've lost in that direction. It took 18 months from the beginning of the injury until  it was rehabbed. So it isn't a fast will heal as your body is ready....just be careful and don't quit. The worst thing you could do to your shoulder is not use it and get tendon calcification like I did....then you have an injury and frozen joint which is NOT fun!!!

The Lounge Parents: Rewards/Punishments Sep 28 2011
17:05 (UTC)

Have you gotten information on what is causing the behaviors? My kid seeks peer acceptance at every turn and hence is the class clown often putting himself in line for discipline but it seems to be worth it in his mind because he loves the reinforcement that his peers give to him.

Sometimes, you can have a good kid and a good teacher that are NOT good together. Consider what the teacher may be doing that can also cause behavior. Last year for example we had a terrible teacher she was not very experienced in handling a child like mine...and he had her goat every time she turned around. She punished him, she sent him home, she took away things, she was evil but in the end, my kid was happy to be a pain in her A*** and there's no amount of punishment at home or school that can compete with that kind of motivation. So, before you go too harsh on your kid, find out if part of the problem is the teacher...and if so, try to get him in another class.

Now if it is fact that you have a great teacher....and you think she really cares about your kid and helping him and he's just not adjusting...then you will need to work on the kid. I refused medication at every turn and some years have been nightmares for us but I am a firm believer that a child that gets medicated never develops the coping skills they really need and then things are worse after meds because they know how much easier it is to be what everyone wants them to be on meds. Now if your kid has a legit reason for medication other than behavior, by all means those problems need to be addressed. Otherwise, a behavior specialist can help you develop non-medical ways to intervene and if you go to a specialist NOT associated with the school you will get a better prospective and have someone who can help you manipulate the school environment to be more of what your kid needs.

My kid is a kinetic learner (learn by doing not by reading and watching) which means worksheets and sitting all day aren't his thing he needs to move. After years of strife, we have a program that fits him well and he is doing good. Your kid may be this kind of learner and will be labeled ADHD and quickly medicated. Use your best judgement in choosing a path forward because the solution has to be the right one for your family.

Young Calorie Counters The Ultimate Boyfriend (or Girlfriend) Question Sep 27 2011
13:41 (UTC)

I totally agree with the "try before you buy" sentiment. I know that without sexual compatibility a relationship cannot stand the test of time. I was married for 9 1/2 years to my ex whom I was not sexually compatible with and it was torture - very slow and damnable 9.5 years. I may have had 5 orgasms a year in my first marriage and believe me...that made a heck of a difference in my mood/demeanor/mental health. My current husband and I are very sexually compatible. We've been together for 12 years and it feels more like 2. I often have multiple orgasms during sex--I can count on 1 hand the number of times that I have failed to orgasm in 12 years and it is about the same number of times I achieved orgasm in my previous marriage. Without orgasm, there's no motivation for sex, without sex men get aggressive, when men get aggressive you fight, when you fight women are too emotionally drained to have sex, when there's no sex women get insecure and feel unloved and the more you fight and feel unloved the more you don't want to have sex (because for women it really is about f**king with the mind before you ever consider the physical side and if the mind/mood is depressed it is pretty ineffective to try to get interested and a frustrated man doesn't have the patience to play with the mind because they just need the physical pleasure) and the cycle begins over and over and over again. At least, this has been MY experience. wasn't that my ex didn't try...he did....he really did...but we just weren't compatible.

We are 2 very different people and your way/beliefs would never have entered into my mind -but that's me. You've got a lot of time to figure it all out and you will do just that and be the person YOU are. You are NOT me or anyone else so it doesn't really matter how or what we think about our own sexuality. What matters for you is how you feel about yours and how you judge yourself.


Foods What food won't you eat? Sep 27 2011
12:57 (UTC)

anything out of the sea...yep no shell regular fish- taste and texture are difficult for me

oatmeal as a cereal is a texture nightmare for me (doesn't matter if it is andante or cooked to mush). I do love oatmeal in things though like no bake cookies, meatloaf, oatmeal cream pie, apple crisp topping, granola....