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Posts by kdubya38

User's Posts | User's Topics

Forum Topic Date Replies
Weight Loss the worst monday to friday.. Sep 09 2006
04:04 (UTC)
ok im extremely confused, why are everyones grams so high?
The Lounge Any teens? Aug 04 2006
19:09 (UTC)
hey, im 16 .. 5'2.5, and i weigh 113... i started at about 155-160ish and that was in about january. Ive had my ups and downs...dealt with anorexia and now im back to all about being physically fit and toned. Basically just lowering my body fat percentage now so i get really lean and cut
Weight Loss What was the smallest size you wore... Jul 30 2006
20:04 (UTC)
i'm at my smallest right now, feels great too

in most shirts im in an XS sometimes a small but rarely

in jeans/pants im in a range of 1-4 depending on the brand/company that makes it
Fitness Get lean for fabulous abs Jul 29 2006
20:25 (UTC)
im confused about the weighing 120 and no more than 120g of carbs....isn't it true if u dont get in atleast 130g a day ull eventually go through ketonisis or whatever its called?
Weight Loss snacks before workout Jul 22 2006
03:07 (UTC)
actually the best time to work out is first thing in the morning and to not eat anything before you go so that way it wont burn off the food u just ate and will go straight to burning fat
Foods power/super foods Jul 12 2006
17:48 (UTC)
the 2nd link didn't work for me
Weight Loss New and Need advice. Jul 08 2006
17:23 (UTC)
Kumi i'm 16 yrs old as well... ive been down ur path and eventually i developed an eating disorder...currently battling that right now but i first lost all my weight in a healthy weigh but it became my obsession and alot of bad things happened with that but I DO know how to lose it in a healthy way so if you want i could give you my messenger screen name and help you out and gives you tips and tricks in eating the right way and losing weight based on a 1,200 cal diet
Weight Loss Baggy Pants Jul 08 2006
17:15 (UTC)
i <3 the baggy pants but hate when i can't go shopping for new ones so that they aren't falling off my bum :(
Health & Support Eating disorders and what other people don't understand Jul 06 2006
17:22 (UTC)
My gram doesn't have internet access and thats really nice of you but i couldn't have someone do that for me. I'm the kind of person who doesn't like things just offered to them like that i like to be the giver not be on the receiving end.

And i understand ur idea but i guess u dont really understand how my way of thinking is...unless u had an eating disorder. I know its unhealthy i know its starving myself but i have a whole different mind set besides that one. My coach is aware of the problem and thinks my mother has it under control. My friends moms i wouldnt want to know because then they'd tell my friends because moms are like that and i know if someone ran to my mom doing that she'd tell me about it in secret and just say not to act like anything is wrong. Im not trying to make excuses but life is complicated here and i'm just gonna try to work through it.
Health & Support Eating disorders and what other people don't understand Jul 06 2006
05:28 (UTC)
I understand what ur saying but i can't just "eat" and figure it to help me. I would need some serious convincing to eat normally again. Im 5'3 and weigh 115 now... seeing that weight drop everyday isnt exactly helping my matter either. I went to my parents for help and ended up getting a smack of reality in the face. I dont have bulemia...i don't make myself throw up nor do i ever binge on food, my calorie intake lately has been around 500/600 a day. So trying to move all the way up to whatever it is i should be eating would seem impossible because for 1 i wouldnt be hungry enough...i think im so used to hunger pains that i dont know when im really hungry or i drink a ton of water so it keeps me full. I dont know what to do with myself anymore its really breaking me down. I have field hockey coming up in August and usually in July ill go to the gym and get a head start on going to be out in 70-90 degree wether running around like crazy in the early morning and then in the mid afternoon im in all my goalie gear sweating, im a junior olympian and i dont know if i could keep up with that due to the fact i simply just am too weak and no longer have the energy to do it like i used to. My friends all want me to go to the field hockey camps but i have to find excuses so i dont have to tell them about my problem and the reason why i shouldnt be going to the camp and when i tell my mom about dropping weight she just will say wow thats good even knowing that the reason i dropped is cause i dont eat, its confusing and heart breaking but i'll some how some way get through this... 
Health & Support Eating disorders and what other people don't understand Jul 05 2006
19:49 (UTC)
The gram that is concerned about me is in worst money trouble then anyone i know considering shes having a hard time finding a job right now and my grandpa died and he was the main supporter of the family. The problem is that we all used to have alot of money and recently haven't because my dad switched jobs. I can't turn to other family members because my mother and father refuse to believe we need help and are embarassed to ask for money so they'd never do it...she always puts on the stepford (i think thats how u spell it) wife act. Today she made me feel even worse...we went to the grocerey store and she already knew i was angry/hurt from earlier and i didn't speak a word to her the whole time i just hung out in the background trying to avoid it. My sister (7 yrs old) is really greedy/bratty so she asks my mom for this that and everything and of course my mom suckers in and does it..yet we can't manage to pay for me, but anyways when we reached the counter my younger sister and brother grabbed a pack of gum and put it on the thing and my mom didnt say a word to them but as soon as i grabbed a pack of gum for myself she made a remark about it. So shes making me feel like even more of a problem lately by doing just the little things like that.

I appreciate ur offer in paying for my appointments but honestly i could never ever in my life have you do that but i thank you so much for the offer. My mom told me our health insurance doesn't cover a nutritionist? I dont know if it'd cover a counselor or psychiatrist even...just to get my body back to normal. Lately ive been feeling so weak and its so different because im a naturally strong person and have (had) alot of muscle and i think its starting to gradually wear off. I get so weak and tired and freezing all the time but i can't get myself to stop and i dont think my mom understands that. Yes all the side effects suck but i fight through them and in a weird twisted way i feel like a stronger person and more in control. I dont wanna bring it up to her again about the nutritionist cause i know she'll yell at me as soon as i open my mouth about it. =/
Health & Support Eating disorders and what other people don't understand Jul 05 2006
16:22 (UTC)
bad news guys :*(

Just as i thought my mother once again looks at this as me being a burden. As if im doing this to cause her problems. She has been telling me the nutritionist isn't there for like a week now and said she should be back today since obviously their little memorial vacation would be done. So i ask her this morning just like every morning, did u get in touch with the nutritionist? And her reply was... Kyra do u really wanna go there because of ur eating...(as if i wanna go there to do jumping jacks? what the hell do u think)... and i was ready to break down because i knew she was gonna land it on me, so with my voice cracking i just said if i dont go there im not gonna eat right again and then she cut me off and said that she doesn't have the money to take me to these appointments and that she has a family with 4 other kids she has to worry about and were not making money like we used to. So i just told her to forget it. And it makes me so frustrated and so angry that i got up all the courage to tell her cause i THOUGHT she could help me but she did exactly what i expected her to do...make it seem like i was just trying to cost her money or however she thinks of it. She makes me out to sound like such a bad kid when i'm not at all... i never smoked or did drugs a day in my life and the only time i drank was when she let me...i dont stay out late, i  barely go out at all considering there is nothing to do in this town and thats alot to say for myself when all the kids here in Nanticoke are druggies. I help her all the time with my younger brothers and sister. So i guess this is me giving up...she doesn't understand the pain of being hungry all day or the pain of walking up those stairs to go onto the scale just to still see urself as being fat and ugly. She doesnt understand what goes through my head about this because its what conquers my life it takes over everything i do...i'm sorry to disappoint all of you by giving up on trying to get help, but i did try.
Health & Support Eating disorders and what other people don't understand Jun 30 2006
07:00 (UTC)
Hey everyone so i went to my doctor and my mom brought up the situation, my doctor referred me to a nutritionist but they haven't been in the office at all and to make matters worse there was a big flood here in Pennsylvania so alot of the roads are closed :(

I guess ill just try to get by in the mean time...but i'll be sure to keep you up to date on my health
Health & Support Eating disorders and what other people don't understand Jun 25 2006
12:51 (UTC)
hey everyone thanks for the support, i was able to discuss this all with my mom and she was so understanding and didn't yell at me or anything she acted extremely concerned and caring. So when i go to the doctors she's going to tell him and is working to get me help. So i just wanted to say thanks for giving me the courage to just say it instead of keeping it inside and hurting myself 
Health & Support Eating disorders and what other people don't understand Jun 24 2006
01:42 (UTC)
I think i miss being young then...come highschool your thrown into a shark tank of critics. The reality of the world today demands perfection nobody is ever good enough and i used to be so care free but recently ive become such a little perfectionist and im the harshest critic of them all on myself... its hard to see myself in the new view that everyone see's me. The attention from others, the attention from boys, buying a size XS opposed to a large, and being complimented all the time is all so new to me... i used to get attention off my personality but now i get it off of both and i think i'm afraid to lose all of that... i think of so many reasons why this happened and how it got so out of control but its hard to figure out on my own... im hoping someone can help =/
Health & Support Eating disorders and what other people don't understand Jun 24 2006
01:06 (UTC)
Well i'm more or less hoping to say this to my gram before the 26th so that in hopes she will tell my mother that I was the one to come to her and tell her about it so that my mom won't think my gram is just "over worrying" anymore
Health & Support Eating disorders and what other people don't understand Jun 24 2006
00:56 (UTC)
It's not so much as me being worried to them "knowing" its more or less the "reaction" that i'll get. I don't know if they'd treat me normally or watch me like a hawk to make sure i'd eat because then i'd feel extremely uncomfortable and it would just annoy the hell out of me. I hate to be "babied" in any way, shape, or form and that is most likely the way they'd act outside of the family inside my house because sadly both my parents are some what selfish. My mom i cut her some slack because of the big boulder on her shoulders sometimes but since this year has just been so bad for me i think its almost as if she has a short fuse with me so its rough. But i'm going to try to go to my gram's and tell her tonight and if i dont build up the confidence to do it today then i'll try again tomorrow and i'll keep on trying but the thing is... is when i go to my grams she basically brings it up to me..which would probably make it an easier way for me to say something about it.
Health & Support Eating disorders and what other people don't understand Jun 24 2006
00:38 (UTC)
Ive read that off a site before, believe me i've been to millions of websites trying to find that helping hand but they all sound the same to me. They all say to "tell someone" but thats the hardest part i get so emotional and breakdown and get upset and cry whenever i even think about the whole scenario because its hard on me and + i'm an emotional person to begin with... i don't even know what i'd be able to say to anyone to even begin telling them about it. The only person i think i could tell ... is my gram ... because of how understanding of a woman she is. So i think i'm going to tell her but my aunt lives with my gram and has knee problems recently and is always by her and even though my aunt would be understanding i know my gram would let her know about it family is one of those where if someone has a problem...everyones going to know it
Health & Support Eating disorders and what other people don't understand Jun 24 2006
00:27 (UTC)
id never be able to get rid of that scale... i go to it first thing in the morning..before i eat something..after i eat something..and before i go to bed i need to know my weight at all times
Health & Support Eating disorders and what other people don't understand Jun 24 2006
00:26 (UTC)
She is going with me to the doctors and she stays in there with me so i can't say anything to him with her being right there to roll her eyes at me

I'm not sure if its so much as me trying to disappear i have such low self confidence... my friends are gorgeous i used to always be considered the third wheel though because i at one point was the the heaviest so i have forever been battling with trying to be just as equal and now that i've finally done it i dont know what it is that i keep continuing to be this way but im terrified of gaining probably because im afraid of going back to how everything was in the past and i still feel fat i dont see myself as skinny at all...ive always had chubby cheeks and i still think i have chubby cheeks..they have gone away... i look in the mirror and it makes me cringe because i dont want to see myself its just terrible self esteem issues and more little things added onto it and i am so obsessive over health it'd be shocking for anyone to hear that i am anorexic because i look online constantly about health & fitness... i am the only one in this household who went on a diet and stuck to it without EVER cheating once and i just kept increasing how hard i am on myself with health and fitness and now its turned to this and its scaring me cause i worry that i'm going to get sick and not be around for everyone in my family and i dont want that to happen