Claire

Posts by claire314


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Forum Topic Date Replies
Weight Loss undereating when young stunt growth? Mar 03 2016
01:21 (UTC)
4

Though I don't know all the factors involved (because they didn't talk about it much) I went to college with identical twin sisters. One was 5'8" and average weight maybe 140, the other was 5'4" and maybe weighed 110lbs. The smaller sister was anorexic and had been for years. I don't know if you can compare 7 months or restrictive eating to years but knowing them and seeing those physical differences always made an impact on me. 

That's not any scientific proof though. Why do you think you should be taller? My nephew was always sure that he was going to be 6'2" because his dad and most of his father's family was 6' or taller. 2 of his uncles (my brothers) are also 6'1" and 6'2" but his mother is 5'2", my father and his 3rd uncle are 5'10". He stopped growing at 5'10". I assure you, he never was restrictive of his diet (wasn't overweight either) in his teenage years. Just because his father's 6'2" doesn't mean he was going to be. There are too many factors at work to be able to pinpoint 7 months of poor eating. Focus on eating well now and staying healthy and move on. 

Weight Loss lipedema? Dec 18 2015
14:07 (UTC)
4

Congratulations on losing 95lbs! That's awesome! On the lipedema, make an appointment with a doctor. Don't get depressed based on an assumption that you have a chronic disease without seeing a doctor. 

Weight Loss Just starting want advice :) Dec 18 2015
00:46 (UTC)
7

I'm wholeheartedly behind awesome_amanda's advice!

There are various calculators for calorie target. Basic calc like CC's I entered in what you said and target calories came back 1750-1950 calories per day. (They wanted age and I entered 30 and put you at light activity level.) Remember that as you lose weight this number changes. Knowledge of basic nutrition can help but I agree can also be overwhelming when you're already making other lifestyle changes. A rule like amanda mentioned - dropping hydrogenated oil, corn syrup, fast food - is a good place to start. But there are many rules/guidelines you can create for yourself like that. but. Without additional personal knowledge of your current diet and lifestyle, it's hard to know what to suggest. For example, maybe you don't eat fast food but drink a liter+ of some kind of sugary drink/soda a day. If that were the case, dropping that habit and switching to water without making any other changes could result in immediate weight loss. 

On exercise, finding something you enjoy is more important than anything! You might have superhuman motivation to do any exercise easy or hard in the glow of your current inspiration but that day you wake up and it's cold, rainy, you're over tired, etc., forcing yourself to do something you don't enjoy can often be the deciding factor that makes you hit that snooze button. 

The overall formula on CC is take in less calories than you burn and you'll lose weight. What awesome_amanda is pointing out though is that for many, the mental game of weight loss can be harder than you expect. If you are one to beat yourself up and have a lot of negative self talk, having a bad day/week can result in a downward spiral of negative thinking and emotional eating. If that's your pattern, include some reading/research into positive thinking, affirmations, meditation, or something to help you break that cycle. 

Weight Loss Obese but hard to see it that way- Need Motivation Nov 25 2015
17:54 (UTC)
10

I'd go with the health approach too. A couple years after my kids were born and I was at my heaviest I realized that I was winded by taking one flight of stairs. That had never been a problem prior to my pregnancies and decided even if I didn't get back to my pre-pregnancy weight I'd begin an exercise program to improve my cardiovascular health. Do you have anything like that you can focus on? 

Weight Loss I get a lot of negativity about my weight loss goal, Why? Nov 24 2015
00:28 (UTC)
2

Are the people that are telling you that 105-110 people that see you in real life? Because if so these are the possibilities: 1) they're concerned you're already seem too thin, 2) they love you and are trying to stress to you that they love you whether thin or fat and maybe worried your too focused on this, 3) they're jealous of your weight loss and are trying to sabotage you. Being the optimistic person I am, I'd lean toward the first 2 options but 3 is not out of the realm of possibilities. And if they know you well, are you obsessive about other things? Could there be a tiny bit of truth in their concern that you might take it too far?  

If we're talking about people on CC jumping on you about it, well that's because many of us know that focusing on an arbitrary number, particularly one that puts you at the lowest BMI can lead to dangerous/unhealthy thinking. My question in this is: were you 105-110 prior to the medication issues? Were you happily going along in life for years at 105 or is this a new goal in your current weight loss journey? If you were this weight in the past 5-10 years, happy, healthy and fit, then go for it. If this is a desire to return to your lowest high school weight then I too would suggest you might want to reconsider. 

Motivation motivation? what motivation? Feb 04 2014
13:40 (UTC)
4

I've been there! Usually when I find myself eating, remind myself that I shouldn't be and yet continue to do so, I'm in a negative place in my head. I find the best thing is to review and recommit to my goals. I sit down and write down my goals (I often use the CC journals for this) and more importantly, I write down a reasonable action plan for how I'm going to get there. When I say "reasonable", I make a weekly plan for exercising 4 times a week, not "I'm going to exercise every day!" because honestly, that doesn't happen. That's just an example of course. Don't think in absolutes. Now that I'm thinking about it, the reason I probably find myself in that negative place is that I've set my goals to high and I'm rebelling in my frustration of not being able to meet them. Hmmmm... so I've just identified my problem! I'm giggling now. I have a joke with friends that I'm always able to bring things back around to myself because everything is really about me. ;)  Anyhow, I hope that helps you too.

Games & Challenges Roll Call December 2013 Exercise Challenge! Dec 31 2013
00:50 (UTC)
2

OK. I'm totally falling apart on this clevelandkat. Not necessarily on my actual exercise but on keeping up this thread. Due to other stuff going on I feel like I should stop creating/updating this topic but it's also been in existence here on CC for years before I even got involved. Not sure if there's someone else that wants to take it over... Not suggesting you do, though you're the only one that posted with me this month and therefore maybe the only one that will see this comment. Maybe someone else - another recent participant - will want continue it?

Fitness exercise routines! Dec 18 2013
17:21 (UTC)
1

clampers is right about not being able to target 1 area to lose weight. On "shrinking" your boobs, it depends on the reason they're bigger. If they're naturally that size, there's not much you can do about it. If it's because you've gained a significant amount of weight, weight loss and toning exercise can help. I was a C cup since the age of 17. Then I got pregnant (in my 30s) and nursing and had to up my bra to a D. Everyone told me this was normal but 2 years after babies and nursing was done, still a D cup. Of course, I'd also gained 40lbs. Was starting to think I'd just stay a D cup but when I lost 25lbs, I realized my bras were loose and I could fit into C's again. Yay! I also lost about 1.5 inches from my chest/rib cage, so I went from a 38D to a 36C. Now even if I lose more weight I guess it's possible I'd lose more inches in my chest but I was a 36C in my 20's at my thinnest weight, I don't think I'm going to get any smaller than that.

Games & Challenges Roll Call December 2013 Exercise Challenge! Dec 18 2013
17:00 (UTC)
3

671/1250 - 30 min shoveling, 1 hr pilates

Games & Challenges Roll Call December 2013 Exercise Challenge! Dec 17 2013
22:34 (UTC)
4

I haven't posted since last Wednesday? Wow. This is because I'm also keeping track elsewhere for my exercise group too so I keep thinking I'm up to date here also.

581/1250 - 30 min pilates (Fri), 40 min snow shoveling (Sat), 55 min spin & 30 min pilates (Monday), 51 min spin (today)

Makes me realize I'm behind for my halfway point though. Not too far behind but considering Christmas is next week....

Games & Challenges Roll Call December 2013 Exercise Challenge! Dec 11 2013
17:16 (UTC)
8

375/1250 - spin class last Friday, today and some pilates

clevelandkat: I'm glad you joined me this month. I was giggling about your marathon cooking/exercise idea. I agree it can feel exhausting but not much exercise. Even if I could somehow justify it is exercise, my 4 hr cookie baking this past weekend was still a backslide in the amount of cookie dough I ate! ;)

Games & Challenges Roll Call December 2013 Exercise Challenge! Dec 04 2013
17:12 (UTC)
14

234/1250 - cumulative over 4 days, spin and pilates

I've started an exercise challenge with friends this month, there's money involved, so I'm upping my game! I'm totally going to crush it this month! :)

Games & Challenges Roll Call November 2013 Exercise Challenge! Dec 02 2013
14:27 (UTC)
2

Sorry for falling apart on management this month. Be prepared though, with the holidays, December probably won't be much better. ;)

Here's the new thread: December Roll Call

Games & Challenges Roll Call December 2013 Exercise Challenge! Dec 02 2013
14:26 (UTC)
15

Oh! I've done it again. Created it with my own account. It all works out though! Sorry I created it late.

Games & Challenges Roll Call November 2013 Exercise Challenge! Nov 25 2013
17:00 (UTC)
4

482/1000 - 52 min spin session

6 Days Left!!  (counting today)

Yay augette! You'll crush that no problem this week! :D

I'm pretty sure I'm not going to hit my goal this month after my don't-feel-like-doing-anything-laziness last week. I've decided I'm going to do my best to finish strong. I've signed up for the annual Thanksgiving spin fundraiser at my Y. They do 4, 30 min spin sessions from 7:30-9:30am Thanksgiving morning, $10 for each session and the money goes to charity.

 

Games & Challenges Roll Call November 2013 Exercise Challenge! Nov 23 2013
14:16 (UTC)
8

430/1000 - 35 min pilates

I totally fell apart this week. I am most definitely NOT crushing it. ;)

The Lounge Family Crap Nov 19 2013
18:26 (UTC)
16
Original Post by lostpumpkins:


I see what you mean.

I've tried that for a long time now, though.  Part of the reason that he has continued to do the things he has is because everyone has just accepted the "way he is" and resigned themselves to it.  And I understand that when it comes to personality and opinion differences...but not violent or criminal behavior.

Example:  once, my uncle was at my grandmother's house when my brother was not there.  My brothers room was actually my uncles old bedroom and he was looking for some of his old stuff...and came across a shoebox full of other people's ID's, credit cards, SS cards, etc.  And what did my family do?  They destroyed the box.

WHY?  Why?  And how can they ever expect him to change or treat them with any respect when they just enable his behavior and even assist him in committing crimes?  He has no reason not to do whatever he wants.

I don't like to hang out with people who make me feel like I need to hide my purse and have a knife in my sock.

I agree that this doesn't apply to violent or criminal behavior but if you don't have proof AND the resolve to turn him into the police and face the backlash you'd get from your family, then my best advice is distance yourself from them, make your own family with your son and friends. Your family is only causing you grief and anger. You shouldn't hang out with people that you're worried are going to steal from you. Your family may some day come to the same conclusion with your brother but it's going to be on their timeframe, not yours. This approach of "accepting you can't change them" isn't easy for me either but I'm not dealing with violence and criminal behavior, just mean, dismissive, self esteem crushing behavior from my family. The manipulative crap of narcissists. I realized it young and had my family telling me I was a **** to say my mother was crazy for 15 years before 1/2 of them came to the same conclusion.

Slight silver lining, though I've accepted I can't change them, I'm up front with them in that way only 3 years of therapy gets me. I'll say, very calmly, things to my mother like "I disagree with this and I'm not going to play that game" or whatever and my calm and measured approach has actually changed her behavior! Shocker! Not in leaps and bounds but she's come to accept that if there's some power play going on in my family and they want me to take a side, I'm not playing along. Of course, she still wants to see her grandchildren and her refusing to back down with my brother resulted in him moving 3 states away and she hasn't seen his boys in 2 years.

The Lounge Family Crap Nov 19 2013
16:44 (UTC)
28

Some of the people here are saying the same things I'm thinking but maybe not exactly in this way. For me and my family it comes down to this: I've accepted I can't change them and making statements to them about how I want them to be different is being antagonistic when I know after decades of experience they won't change. Once I accepted that and let go of trying to make them be different, so much negativity and anger also disappeared. Now it's about my decision to see them and participate or not.

What you did is understandable but it's the same thing my sister-in-law used to do. She'd say, "Well I was right in correcting her! (my mother-in-law or whoever) She shouldn't have said that or done that! She was wrong or hurtful!" or whatever. But the result of the confrontation was only to create more hurt, drama and bad feelings. I kept telling her that she can't change our mother-in-law, even if there was some way that she could it would not be through confrontation or pointing out that she is wrong. You may not think what you said was a confrontation but it was. On fb you have the choice to ignore it or hide or block his posts. You choose to "friend" him and he's not required to ask permission of you or anyone else about what he can or cannot post. It's now your choice to unfriend him, which based on your history sounds like you should.

My sister-in-law believed that I was behaving like a door mat, that I was weak. I have decided that I don't want to cut off my family and I want to show my children that we can still love and enjoy our family/people without agreeing on everything. But I have accepted I can't change them and have strategies and boundaries to manage my relationships with them. I'm teaching my children those too. In some ways, I'm up front with my family about these things. Not with my mother-in-law, she's beyond hope. But you need to decide if you're going to continue to have these relationships but accept that you can't change them or that you're going to cut them off. In my opinion, anyone that calls you the c-word in front of you child should be cut off. There's no respect there. Even with my crazy mother-in-law, she would never go there in front of my children.

Funny thing, my sister-in-law suddenly announced 3 years ago, "I was watching Oprah last week and she pointed out that you need to accept that you can't change people and let go of that anger! This past visit with MIL was so much better!" Yup. 10 years of my saying it ignored but Oprah is what go thru to her. Which is ok, it just makes me laugh.

Games & Challenges Roll Call November 2013 Exercise Challenge! Nov 16 2013
20:21 (UTC)
18

395/1000 - 25 min raking leaves

Games & Challenges Roll Call November 2013 Exercise Challenge! Nov 16 2013
15:13 (UTC)
19

370/1000 - 38 mins crushing it pilates ;)

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