Important Update: Calorie Count will be shutting down on March 15th. Please click here to read the announcement. Data export is available.
Young Calorie Counters
Moderators: chrissy1988

TEENAGE GIRLS-- do you all feel this way? confidence question???

Quote  |  Reply
I seriously lack confidence in my body. I hate my body. I always feel fat. I always feel ugly. I've been out to movies 3 times within the last 10 months. I threw out all my bathing suits. I threw out all my tight clothes. I just wear baggy sweatshirts and sweatpants to cover the disgusting fat on my body. I dont own a single pair of jeans anymore. I cry about my body numerous hours a day. I stopped seeing my friends cause I feel ugly and fat all the time. I haven't gone shopping in a year.

My parents say this is perfectly normal and all teens feel this way. Now I'm wondering. Is this true?? Can I have your opinions??
27 Replies (last)

I think it is normal for all teens to feel like that at one or time or another, what isn't normal is how it is affecting you. Its not normal to throw out all your clothes, or stop going shopping and its certainly not normal to cry for hours about it or stop going out with friends.

I'm positive that you're not fat or ugly though:)

it can be normal to once and a while have a day where you don't feel good about yourself, but it definetly shouldn't be an everyday kinda thing. maybe if you try getting physical activity you will feel better about yourself. it doesn't have to be a crazy amount, but even just taking a walk, going for a run, or trying yoga may make you feel better. cheer up, i'm sure you're beautiful. :)

Quote  |  Reply
I am 16, and I sometimes wake up feelin the same way, but I got this alarm clock app yesterday. I woke up to my favorite music, and it's surprising how good it made me feel!!! :)
You may lack confidence in your body, but it shouldn't mean you lack it in yourself. Girl, I bet you're as sweet as a cherry pie! You need to get out there and have people love you for who you are INSIDE, cause that's what really counts.

i think there are degrees of insecurity but what you're describing sounds more extreme than anything i ever experienced. I wore bikinis even with a little tummy--during that typical growing phase when my body was not quite right--and so did my friends.


even adult women have "bad body days" where they feel icky and just bad about themselves but you shouldn't REACT to those feelings by doing negative things, dieting, tossing out clothes, or just being self deprecatory.

what they said. teens go through it (im turning 20 in a week) but even though i suffered from depression i never went through anything like that....may i ask what your height and weight is? if you dont feel comfortable saying it's ok, but if your bmi is normal and you are actually healthier than you think, it's a case of talking to a professional. a lot of it is hormonal but if you dont feel good about yourself then it's not alright. if you ever want to talk we are here for you xx

Quote  |  Reply
That's what I do.
I've always felt like this. When I was 8 I refuse FTP wear leggings and jeans cause i felt so fat and ugly. I'm 5'7 and around 117 pounds. Even at my lowest of 98 I saw myself as fat. I never liked my body or myself as a person.
Sorry FTP was meant to be to. . . I have a spell check on my iPhone. It's weird haha.
Your almost underweight, you have nothing to worry about. You should try and get therapy
Original Post by supwrskinny:

I've always felt like this. When I was 8 I refuse FTP wear leggings and jeans cause i felt so fat and ugly. I'm 5'7 and around 117 pounds. Even at my lowest of 98 I saw myself as fat. I never liked my body or myself as a person.

That is a very serious problem. You're just under the healthy weight range. I'm the same exact height as you, 14 years old, and I weigh 134 lbs. I used to have an ED, so I won't deny that I have body image issues, but deep down I know I'm not really that fat. I have to be honest and say I was happier when I weighed 10 lbs less than I do now, but at my lowest weight, I was 108 lbs. By then, I definitely knew I was all skin and bone and at some point I literally felt like I was going to pass out and die. I felt FREEZING cold even when wearing a sweater in hot summer weather, and though I always felt sleepy and low on energy, I could never seem to fall asleep at night. And I'd always wake up with terrible spasms in my calves.

I honestly don't know how anyone my height could feel fat at 98 lbs. I probably would have died in a hospital bed if I'd just reached 100! I hate to say it, but you have an extreme case of body dismorphia. I suggest you get help and see a doctor right away! Please don't abuse your body! I can tell you from personal experience, that it's just going to make things worse!

Wow...I know it's already been said, but no, this is not normal behavior at all. It's normal to feel insecure or fat/ugly sometimes, but it shouldn't be so bad that it interferes with your normal activities (like hanging out with friends, wearing nice clothes). I seriously think you should talk to someone... a school counselor, maybe?

If you're brave enough to share your story with us, you're brave enough to get the support you need. You shouldn't have to go through this alone.

I find myself hating my body sometimes too. I look and the mirror for an hour straight and just picture how i would change myself. Everyone always says i am a healthy weight but i only see my thighs jiggling and my protruding belly. When i put on jeans i immediately take them off out of disgust. But this negativity isnt healthy and when the self loathing starts i just try to focus on other things. Hold ur head high.
For as long as I remember, pretty much age 11 onwards, I felt exactly like this, I would cry myself to sleep most nights, wish I wasn't here anymore and just generally lack confidence in every way. I never told anyone how I felt as I thought my mum would blame herself and ive always been protective of her, however after constant tiredness for two years I went to my doctor a few months ago who finally diagnosed me with depression and offered me counselling. Telling my mum was the hardest thing and she still doesn't like it when I mention feeling down, she feels lack of motivation is the cause... Sorry to ramble about myself but I just want you to know that I have so much regret when I look back at that poor 11 year old girl who felt completely alone and in a body I couldn't stand, do not listen to what your parents say, it is not normal and you should try to get help, otherwise a few years down the line you'll be like me and only just beginning to tackle your body demons. Im sorry if I sound preachy it just makes me so sad to read people going through this, being a prisoner of their own mind. Please please please speak to your doctor if your parents won't listen, don't be ashamed and if you can't speak to a professional perhaps search the Internet for support groups? You are not alone! Good luck, remember you are beautiful and you have just as much right as anyone else to love yourself! :) p.s sorry if I went on a bit

I'm going to say that it IS normal to feel upset about your body when you're at that age . But to an extent! If you have gotten to the point where you hate to be with friends, than it's time to make a change. I have no idea what you're stats are (height/weight, yada yada) but humankind is healthiest when we're conversing and being with each other. Doesn't it make your day so much better when you have a simple, mildly engaging conversation with someone? It does, doesn't? I have a challenge for you!

Here are some orders I want you to follow for one week straight--

  1. Rule Number One: Have one conversation with a person for at least one full minute. You are not allowed to mention your body issues unless that person decides to bring bodily issues up. Got it? At least once everyday of this week.
  2. Rule Number Two: Leave the house to do 30 minutes of physical exercise. If you want to walk, then you must walk fast! I recommend biking or roller blades (as those are fun). If you choose to bike, do so in a faster manner than just rolling along ;P
  3. Rule Number Three: Start drinking a lot of water and try to choose better snacks when you want them. NO FAST FOOD, CANDY BARS, OR BAKED GOODS! Fruits, vegetables, or nuts. That is all! (Be careful with the nuts, only a handful)

Follow these rules for seven days straight, and do not cheat. Cheating on something that you have decided to do (including BF's or BFF's..) is cheating on yourself on a more horridly psychological level. Bottom line: Do Not Cheat. Cool Be the cool girl who is responsible for herself and can earn what she wants to earn! At the end of everyday, record how you accomplished these three goals and what accomplishing each of them felt like to you. In the report, you must also include an overall rating of how your day has gone. (Out of 1-5-- 5 being a great day). Think you can accomplish my challenge? MUHAHAHHA! 

We shall see! But if you do want to see if you can pass my challenge, please send me an email to get started right away! And BTW--If you focus on small goals, you'll be able to slowly change the big picture. 

Good luck, honey! 


Thank you guys all for your answers. If it makes a difference, I've told my parents about this, they just agreed and told me I'm so fat I should just jump off a bridge. Their exact words. I don't have much support :( I was already diagnosed with depression, an anxiety disorder and insomnia. I also used to see a psychologist but my parents stopped bringing me. I'm not allowed to do anything on my own so yeah.

The reason I posted the topic was because my parents said this was perfectly normal and every teen girl feels the same way. I thought otherwise. So I decided to get opinions from real people :)

Thanks for your support guysss <3

sounds bad but mine are the same as yours. no support and when i told them i was feeling depressed (it takes some balls) my father told me that if i needed help commiting suicide then come to him and he will show me how to do it proparly. 

this is where you become a stronger person. honestly. but you aren't a machine! i sure as hell aint. some parents are just **** at their job (forgive my language, but it's true). you should be able to depend on them in your times of need but they obv aren't bothered so that's why this is you and you alone. honestly, the depression (if it is genuinely nothing to do with teen hormones) will prob never go away, so becoming stronger and doing things for yourself is the only way this is going to work. arringtonash has a point in that respect. follow her challenge, grow as a person, and you will feel in control. being in control of your own life makes you feel stronger and at the end of the day, if you dont follow the advice you're given, than it says a lot about who you are. 

good luck on your journey! i will "follow" you to make sure you are getting on all right 

Well I always have but I'm all ed and stuff so that's probably not a good reference. I think most people feel like that sometimes but not all or most of the time x if you're weight is an all-consuming thought that plagues you then you should prob get some help :/ x
Quote  |  Reply
You seem like a sweet girl who is just insecure! Have a day of shopping with your BFF and get some clothes you feel confident in and ate super cute :D
Quote  |  Reply
I meant are not ate!
27 Replies (last)