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Weight Loss
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Weight loss and increased sex drive?

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OK. This is a little weird posting about this, but I've tried to read up on this situation, and I can't find anything on it.

At this point, I have lost 27 pounds. I haven't been this size for almost 2 years. I feel great about myself, even though I'm not finished with my weight loss.

The strange thing is, ever since I started losing, I have noticed a large increase in my sex drive. It's caused a sort of mismatch in my sex drive and my husband's sex drive. It's really not that big a deal, but I decided to start reading up on it. The problem is, there isn't anything out there about it on the 'net. Everything I've read is about how men have a bigger sex drive than women.

If anybody has any information on this topic, I would love to hear it.

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I have experienced a large weight loss, experienced what you are describing.  I believe weight loss can increase your sex drive for some very logical reasons.

  1. People have more energy and can move easier at a lower weight
  2. Blood flow is increased to all organs of the body, including the sex organs
  3. Self-esteem increases with weight loss
  4. Self-image increases with weight loss
  5. People feel sexier and more attractive after losing weight
I don't know where you'd look to find scientific information on the subject, maybe Masters and Johnson has some.
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Of course you have a higher sex drive when you are healthier silly!  I also find that regular exercise increases my sex drive.  I guess my body just likes to get the blood pumping.

I am sorry that it is causing challenges in your relationship.  I can't really help you much there as I am not even good at dating!

I have also experienced this. It happens to make my hubby happy cause his drive is about 3 times what mine was.. But yes, the more I loose the higher my sex drive is.
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 I have lost and gained 10 to 15lbs throughout my 20s up until now. When I am what I consider a good size I get in increase sex drive as well. I believe it’s because I feel sexier when I am at a comfortable weight.   Right now I am 160 lbs which is the most I have ever weight and I avoid my boyfriend sexually because I feel horrible about  body! :(

It's weird - most of the literature seems to be on women not keeping up with male partners, but I rarely hear that from any of my female friends, unless they've had kids very recently.   Most of the time it's that they want more sex than their guys - sometimes it's just a matter of being more in the mood, other times the guy has performance issues after having a drink or two, is tired, is sore, etc.

It's really weird. I understand the whole thing about self-image and how when I lose weight, I'm more interested. My husband says the same thing. (By the way, he does like the change.) I am just interested in why. Is there some sort of physiological reason? I mean, there are plenty of people who aren't actively attempting to lose weight, and the world is getting populated just fine.

I knew someone once who had undergone the gastric bypass operation. She had lost a great deal of weight, but her husband was still severly overweight. When discussing how things were going, she mentioned there were some things she and her husband were adjusting to. I heard her mention that the chemicals (?) that control sex drive are carried on the fat cells. Or something like that.

Has anyone heard anything like that?

Original Post by vegetariangeek:

It's weird - most of the literature seems to be on women not keeping up with male partners, but I rarely hear that from any of my female friends, unless they've had kids very recently.   Most of the time it's that they want more sex than their guys - sometimes it's just a matter of being more in the mood, other times the guy has performance issues after having a drink or two, is tired, is sore, etc.

I've noticed the same thing, but I know (personally) it's pretty common.  You'd think there would be more information about it.

Aha!  The Toronto Women's Bookstore just sent out their February mailing list and this was listed on it.  Good timing :) 

He’s Just Not Up for it Anymore: Why Men Stop Having Sex, and What You Can Do about It by Susan Yager-Berkowitz and Bob Berkowitz, Ph.D. William Morrow, $28.95

An un-discussed fact: Millions of American men are choosing not to be sexual with their wives or girlfriends. Men are supposed to be ready for sex anytime, anywhere, and if a relationship is sexless, it must be the woman’s choice. But the surprising truth is that not having sex is just as likely to be the man’s decision – and its men of all ages.  Their partners are perplexed and sometimes angry. Susan and Bob Berkowitz surveyed and interviewed more than 4000 people: men who stopped having sex with their partners and women whose husbands or boyfriends had stopped having sex with them. He’s Just Not Up for It Anymore will help couples identify and understand the many varied reasons men lose their desire and help find ways to recapture the passion!

I don't know if the opinion of a man would interest you, but my experience since starting to lose weight is that while my sex drive hasn't increased by much, my stamina has increased dramatically. Not that is was ever really bad, but I feel that I have almost as much energy and stamina since losing weight as I did when I was 20 years younger.

I agree with the other poster that it is a result of just being healthier now that I have lost weight. And I also agree that exercising increases my libido as well.

Just another benefit of dropping excess weight. :)

As for the question of "Why He's Not Up For It Anymore", one possible reason could be fear of hearing "no" yet again.  If a woman tells a man "no" more often than "yes", then the man might start wondering if there is something wrong with him and in typical male fashion, the response is sometimes just to avoid the chance of hearing "no" again by simply not asking.  Personally, there is nothing more frustrating than getting your hopes up that "tonight might be the night" only to have them dashed by a "no" or "I'm too tired" or "I don't feel good."

That reminds me of a joke.  (If you think you might be offended by a sexual joke, then stop reading now.)





A noted sex therapist is giving a lecture in an auditorium and he asks his audience about the frequency of their love making. 

First he asks, "How many of you have sex more than 1 time a week?"   

About a third of the crowd raises their hands, and they seem like a pretty cheerful bunch, smiling and laughing.   Then he asks, "How many of you have sex about 1 time a week?"

About half of the crowd raises their hands, and most of them are also pretty cheerful, but less than the first group. 

Then he asks, "How many of you have sex about 1 time per month?".  Most of the remaining people raise their hands and this group seems to be the least happy yet.

Finally, he asks, "How many you have sex about 1 time a year?"

A man in the crowd jumps to his feet, hollering "Me. Me. Me." and obviously very excited.  This puzzles the therapist, so he asks, "Sir, may I ask why you are so excited about having sex only 1 time a year?"

To which the man replies, "Cause tonight's the night!" 

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Ive been looking for more information about this topic because Ive actually found the increase in desire hard to deal with and I've considered going to the doctor to see if there was something I could take to manage it without completely switching it off.

Ive lost about 70kg and even after losing about 10kgs I had a noted increase in desire. I'm a guy in my late 30s and my desire is considerably stronger than when I was a teen (I was a slim active teen).

There are obvious benefits in having drive and the ability to back up almost immediately, but its not something that is easily managed when you have a family etc.

Its been the only negative of my weight loss and something I wasn't expecting at all!  Good to hear I'm not alone.

This is something I'm not understanding myself, my sex drive is through the roof, to the point it drives me crazy and I can't concentrate, my husband thinks I have lost it and keeps asking me what is wrong with me (he thinks its funny). This happens to me everytime I diet and lose weight (I lost 65 lbs a few years ago and started back on my routine a couple weeks ago and am down 10 more pounds). And honestly I'm not sure if it is just because of feeling good about how I look that has increased my desire, I think it is also chemical and hormonal changes causing this to happen. It could possibly be from the weight loss itself or it could be from not eating all the processed foods that are pumped full of chemicals, I don't really know. It would be nice to see any medical literature that shows a  link between weight loss and increased sex drive.

I tend to lose my sex drive while dieting, and it increases when I am eating more. I am 10-15 pounds to my ideal weight though.

This is an old thread but I'd like to respond anyway.

I read somewhere that fat stores estrogen and when you lose fat that estrogen is released into your system. I think this might affect your sex drive.

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