Important Update: Calorie Count will be shutting down on March 15th. Please click here to read the announcement. Data export is available.
Weight Loss
Moderators: spoiled_candy, Mollybygolly, devilish_patsy, nycgirl

No one noticed yet, that i lost 20 lbs

Quote  |  Reply

I've lost 20 lbs now, and no one has noticed, with the exception of my lover noticing that my breasts got smaller.

When I told my friend 2 weeks ago that I'd lost 15 pounds I really don't think she even believed me, and later in the day she made comments like "thats what you are going to eat if you are on a diet?" (Maybe was meant to be 'helpful', but felt very snide). 

Partially because I'm so tall (5'9), 20 lbs only means I lost 1 size, going from a 24 to a 22.  (I've also read that there are more extra inches in btwn plus sizes).  Maybe also because I'm so big that its not as noticeable when someone goes from big to less big  but is still close to 100 over weight...

I know I'm doing this for myself, and seeing my results on the scale is motivating, but I'm also a little discouraged that others have not noticed the  effort I'm making.

Has anyone else had similar experiences?

84 Replies (last)

My guess is that people noticed but are unsure about whether to say anything.  Either way, keep going!  20lbs is fantastic!

I think the larger you are, the less visible X amount of weight loss is. I mean, imagine you lose 20 lbs and went from 120 to 100. That would be very visible, especially since you would have lost 20% of your body weight, whereas if you went from 220 to 200, that would be 10% of your body weight. It wouldn't make it any less of an achievement, but since your journey would be longer it would take longer to see very big differences.

Congrats on the 20lbs less:)

I think this is pretty routine when you start out with more weight to lose. I started out at 227 and probably lost close to 45 before I really started getting comments.  Also, I know I don't feel comfortable commenting on someone else's weight just in case I am wrong about whether they have lost or gained!  Don't let this discourage you. You are starting to see the difference in clothing sizes and that is very encouraging.  If you compare pics from before, I bet you can tell the difference as well.  Just keep up your program and as you progress, you will get more comments :)

P.S.  Sorry your friend wasn't more of a friend and supportative of your efforts :(

Hey, congratulations on your 20 pound loss! I think a lot of us have been there. Even if no one noticed your weight loss, your health is already improving because of it. I know that's not what you want to hear, but this may be...

I started at 214 and was in denial that I wasn't a size 14 still, so I looked up a clothing chart online. I should have been wearing a size 18, maybe even 20. Don't ask how I crammed into the 14's cause I'll never know. But yes, there is a lot more inches in between plus sizes than regular sizes. I just recently started to actually comfortably fit in my 14's and I'm almost ready for 12's. So, keep going cause I didn't believe it when someone else on this site told me, all of a sudden you will drop sizes like crazy. So, keep the momentum going.

As far as no one noticing. My husband seemed not to notice for the LONGEST! Until I dropped 20 pounds (I'm 5'5'') and he saw me naked. But when he did, it was like he was hit with a ton of bricks, he said he hadn't realized how much smaller I was.

It seems to come in chunks and I think most people will agree. Weight loss is weird sometimes cause I just recently lost another 3 and once again, there's a huge difference. But the ten pounds before, not so much. I think it depends on how your body shape is changing also. Those last 3 I lost shouldn't have made such a difference, but I'm toning up now I guess.


Anyway, this ended up being wayyyy to long of a reply, but I hope it helps.



I think once you lose more weight they'll notice. One size down is great but maybe not very noticeable.

I was 130 pounds at one point. Then I got to 175 pounds in 1-2 years. Everyday, a bunch of people would tell me I was getting fat. Some days, I hadn't even gained anything and they would still tell me I had gotten fatter. I don't know if they thought I didn't own a scale or a mirror, but they kept telling me that I was gaining. Then I got down to 145 pounds. No one said a word (but my one friend).

I don't know why. Maybe before they were just trying to help and trying to get me to take care of myself. Once they noticed that I had gotten healthy again, they didn't think they needed to say anything. Or maybe they just liked to rub the fact that I was getting fat in my face. Who knows?

not everybody likes to talk about diet and weight, especially with people who may be sensitive to it. asking someone who's large if they've lost weight can sound a lot like, "you're not quite as fat as you used to be!"

if your motivation is external, you're not likely to succeed. forget about other people and focus on yourself.

I dont think it matters what size you are.  I am 5' and have lost 15lbs. No one has noticed, and my father in law actually said to me this weekend.. "Wow you look like you have put on some weight"!!!!!  REALLY...   So I just tell myself you are doing a great job and keep going.   Great work on the 20lbs!!! 

One of the reasons that your friends/family haven't noticed that you have lost weight is because they see you all the time and it is hard for them to tell. 

You can tell because you feel your clothes are getting looser and you can see the results on the scale. 

Also, you are probably still wearing the same clothes.  I started at 242 and have lost 30 pounds.  I am still wearing the 2x or 1x or size 20/22's.  It is hard for my friends to notice because my baggy clothes are hiding my lesser size.  (I am now a 16W.)  I don't intend on getting more clothes until I am closer to my goal weight.  I did have to buy a few new bras because of my smaller size. 

I don't even worry or ask for the approval of friends or family -- I'm the only approval that counts. Keep going for a few more sizes and then buy an outfit in the smaller size...they are sure to notice.

Thanks everybody!  The congratulations feel great, even if they are from ppl who cant see me, haha.  I guess I just have to keep working at it.

@Calboydoc: Well you are not alone!  One thing that occurred to me since I posted is that it probably doesn't help that I am still wearing my slightly too large clothes, which makes me look a little frumpy...maybe thats what your dad in law picked up on?  Ah, I just love how old men seem to have no filter on their mouth!  Well, unfortunatly I can't afford to buy all new clothes right now, especially if they arent gona be useful in 2-3 months because they are too big (fingers crossed!)


@NycGirl:  wow you said pretty much what I was thinking about a second before I posted!

Hey, congrats on losing 20 pounds, getting healthier, and feeling better!  Screw unobservant people :)

I once dyed my hair BRIGHT red (it's very dark brown, almost black) and the only comment I got was "Hey, are you not wearing makeup today or something?"

And no, it wasn't a joke.  And I was in high school, so LOTS of people should have noticed...

Sometimes people just coast through life, I guess, not paying attention.


Dont worry, it takes us bigger gals awhile for the results to show. I started at 225 and am at 212 today and no one has noticed either (even though its 13 pounds!). My clothes still feel the same, but my boobs feel smaller too!! I figure it wont be really noticable until I'm down to like 175 or something. But stay with it and dont feel discouraged. You are doing wonderful!

Congrats on the weight loss! People may not see much difference at first. Give it some time. Not sure exactly what your stats are, but sounds like you are somewhere along the progression of losing more weight.

Personally, I have lost 63 pounds. The first 20 or so was not that big of a difference for me in physical appearance that a lot of people noticed. Especially people that I see almost everyday at work. The next 20 after that was huge in appearance and that is when I really started to get a lot of comments from those people. There is no denying it anymore when I have dropped 10 inches off my waist size. You are right on the verge of seeing some of that happen. Be patient and stay the course. All that will manifest for you in the coming months.

Sounds like you are heading in the right direction. Know that the comments will come and the truely supportive people will be positive. The ones that are not are probably not really your friends to begin with and you may want to find some other people to associate with. The most important person that you need to have feel good about this is YOU!

Congratulations!!  Don't worry about others not noticing.  I think people don't really look at others closely enough for small changes to be noticed.  I have found that it usually takes a noticeable loss in your face for the comments to start.  I lost 32 lbs before anyone noticed my loss - and the first comment was, "Your face is thinner."  Once people saw the thinner face they started looking closer at the other parts of me.  Now they see my stomach is smaller.  Grr!  Just keep doing what you're doing, the weight will come off and people will start noticing - eventually.  Then you'll start getting comments like, "You're eating that!! I thought you were trying to lose weight!!"  

Same exact thing happening to me.....the only person to have notice my 20lb loss is my husband who is very supportive.  Some of my best friends are much heavier than me, so I don't think they even want to acknowledge my weight loss because they are so negative and upset about their own weights.  I try to encourage them to be healthier but I have little success. really is very hard when there isn't any support coming from the friends you care about most outside of your immediate family.   Sooo...I just keep reminding myself when things get bad that I am really doing this for myself....not for them.  This is for me...this is for my health...this is for my happiness.  No one else!


Stay strong and CONGRATS on your weight loss!!! :)     

Original Post by vbeattie:

Hey, congrats on losing 20 pounds, getting healthier, and feeling better!  Screw unobservant people :)

I once dyed my hair BRIGHT red (it's very dark brown, almost black) and the only comment I got was "Hey, are you not wearing makeup today or something?"

And no, it wasn't a joke.  And I was in high school, so LOTS of people should have noticed...

Sometimes people just coast through life, I guess, not paying attention.

ditto that - if they didn't notice, screw it. i was working in a office of overweight women when i went from a size 18 to a 14 - finally one day i got a comment in the breakroom when they saw me opening a can black beans for lunch instead of eating the company catered carb/fat/junk lunch laid out on the table. she said "what are you on a diet or something? why youre not THAT fat..." ugh..


First of all, i just want to say, with all due respect,  forget what everyone says (or doesn't).


Days which ive lost 10 lbs, ive had work ppl coming up to me and saying, hmm did you gain a little with this sympathetic cringe.

One day while making tea in the morn, collegue of mine comes up to me from behind and puts her hand on my tummy (yes i have a tummy, not huge one but a good sized pot belly) and asked me if im pregnant. I go so mad, and sad and angry i cried when i got home.

SO it depends on what your wearing more than what you have actually gained lost.


SECOND thing which is important here, is that body types aren't the same. We gain weight in different places. my body is very weird, im proportional but my thighs are very thick, not saggy , but thick. my shoulders very broad. BUT i have a belly that grows. I need 20 lbs to get from a size 14 to a size 12!!! CAN YOU IMAGINE?! its horrible for me because it doesnt show until 20 lbs that i lost 1 dress size. now im an 18(largest ive ever been) im about 200 lbs, and it will take me until 185 at least to fit into my 16s 

You have to be proud of your weight loss, don't listen to comments, also don't wait for compliments.  Because if you dont get them you will be demotivated, when actually you have had a great loss.

In the end, it matters that YOU know your achievements. 

We all know it! and applaud you!!!


I started out at a size 26/28 and it took losing 50 pounds before someone said "are you getting taller?"

I agree I think that the bigger you are the longer it takes to show... it was so frustrating to lose large amounts of weight and have people just look at you like you were lying or something. Oh well... do it for you!

Congratulations on losing 20 pounds! You can do it! :)

Original Post by peanutbutterandjenny:

I started out at a size 26/28 and it took losing 50 pounds before someone said "are you getting taller?"

I agree I think that the bigger you are the longer it takes to show... it was so frustrating to lose large amounts of weight and have people just look at you like you were lying or something. Oh well... do it for you!

Congratulations on losing 20 pounds! You can do it! :)

HAHAAAA , are you getting taller? sometimes i wonder how people think this stuff up!  nice to see other people getting weird comments as well :)))

It's true that the taller/more overweight you are, the longer it takes to see a noticable difference. Weight comes off all over, not just one or two isolated areas and also pretty gradually, so it will take a bit of time before it's obvious to other people (especially those you see you on a regular basis.) I was 300 lbs (5'4) at my highest and it took losing around 50 lbs before people started noticing. There were a couple of people who finally asked me if I lost weight once I had already lost 70 lbs! I still remember the looks on their faces when they asked me how much I lost and I told them 70. They were expecting me to say something like 20 lbs, nowhere near 70!

And I also agree with others who said some people may have noticed a change already, but are hesitant to say anything. Weight is a sensitive subject for most people, so others may not be so free with with weight related compliments for a while until they're sure it's something you actually *want* to hear. I never talked openly about my issues with my weight EVER, so the first time I mentioned to my best friend I had lost some weight, she cut me off immediately and blurted out "I KNEW you lost weight!! I've been dying to say something to you but I didn't know if I would be crossing any lines" She was basically bursting at the seams wanting to say something to me about it, but was just waiting for me to initiate the subject I guess :-)

Be proud of yourself in what you've accomplished so far! 20 lbs is fantastic and I promise, before you know it (it seems to happen overnight) you'll be getting asked all the time what you've been doing and how much weight you've lost, and how great you look! Whether or not many people notice the difference right now doesn't diminish what you've been able to accomplish so far! Congrats and keep it up! :-)

Oh dear..I have been there…and yes…the bigger you are the less people will notice..I lost at least 20 lbs before people noticed..and then I had lost 45 lbs and while people noticed and commented all the time, I felt the same…but honestly, I really hardly noticed myself!! I mean I could fit into clothes better and smaller, but it didn’t really click in my head ‘oh yea, that was 40 lbs’ but the difference was I felt better in my own skin.  I had more confidence, and I didn’t really care what people thought anymore.  My confidence wasn’t based on what other people told me.  I wasn’t in denial anymore, I knew who I was and didn’t need peoples comments to make me feel better.  I just felt stronger..emotionally and physically.  The negative influences in my life, I didn’t have time for them, I was doing things that made me a better person…

So you are normal for not having people notice this weight loss..but you WILL notice you start getting a lot of credit all at once and wonder what the fuss is about…

What it comes down to, is you are doing it for you and you are really the only one you have to answer to, and if you are really honest with yourself, well it will feel really good to know you can stand on your own and be comfortable with who you are, inside and out. 

84 Replies (last)
Recent Blog Post
We asked for your favorite easy breakfast ideas, and you shared them. Some of our favorites submissions are below.

Continue reading...