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i have had anorexia for about 8months where i stole all together 10 stone.i just have a few concerns
i am 6foot 3 inches and have just turned 23 years old and i am a male obviously by my pic lol.
The first is is it ok to consume 4000 + calories a day the issue is i dont want to consume too many calories and do damage the reason i ask this is because at the start of my recovery i weighted 57kgs and after two weeks of recovery i was 59kgs! this made my ED voice xtremly loud i then said to myself i am not going to weigh myself for about 1 or 2 months so i dont scare myself into restriction or relapse.
i am just concerned because before i had anoriexia i was 130kgs! i am just worried becuase i know people say your body chooses your ideal weight i am just concerned that my motablisum is completly shot i will just gain straight back to that weight if not more.
yes i was a happy person at when i was at that weight but i would be happy at 95kgs.
i have read that i shouldnt exercise but i dont want to just get fat.
another thing yesterday i was moving rooms and was up and down the stairs countless times carring boxes a bed wardrobes a sofa and lots of clothes and general stuff. and today my i am constantly hungry i have ate sooo much and its only 12 oclock in the afternoon.
Can any please help i hate the fact i have done this to myself. the reason i ask here is because im not getting much support off my family like my dad everytime i try and talk about it he rolls his eyes and carries on watching telly and just gets angry when i talk about it. :(
also when you i be able to do weight lifting again as my arms are smaller than my mums! and they used to be big not being big headed lol
You should be proud of yourself for coming this far and trying to recover especially with the added difficulty of having your father not being supportive. I do believe he loves you but perhaps just doesn't know how to deal with something like an eating disorders. There was an excellent quote in the book Life Without ED"From the outside looking in you can't understand and from the inside looking out I can't explain." I recommend gong on-line and looking up DBT, dialectical behavioral therapy, and look at some of the self help you can do with that if you can't get into a support group etc. DBT offers ways to cope with stress, emotions, interpersonal relationships etc. to help you find ways of coping that are healthy instead of using the disorder. I am in an out patient treatment group that focuses on DBT right now and find it very helpful.
Anyway to answer some of your questions at this point there really is no upper limit on calories. Don't worry about your final weight yet just take things day by day. If you are hungry honor your hunger signals and eat. Eating food is nourishing your body and mind. You will need more than the average adult or weight gainer because your body has a lot of repairs to do on top of daily functions. I would not recommend lifting weights until you are weight restored/at a healthy weight as your muscles and bones need time to repair and you could do some serious damage exercising/lifting while very underweight. Besides you won't really be able to build muscle until you have reached a more healthy weight anyways and at this point it would only be burning calories you desperately need for recovery/repair.
Good luck and stay strong and way to go for coming this far. I can't wait to see photos of you when you are restored back to your full very handsome self, as handsome as you are in that pic (with exception to the gauntness from the ED of course) I am sure you are a hearthrob at a healthy weight with those muscles in place.