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My sister steals from me.

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I know this is totally random but I am beyond frustrated right now. I am 23 and still live at home. Sad, but true. My sister also lives here and she is 17, almost 18. Here's the thing. She steals from me. It's not just that she takes clothes from my room, wears them, and then puts them in her drawers. That, I think, is normal sister stuff.

She has taken face wash, money, food, books and perfume; just to name a few things. She doesn't just borrow this stuff. She keeps it and claims that it is hers. Because of this I have gotten into the habit of always keeping my purse within my sight and putting my name in permanent marker on books and movies and other larger items. I also keep receipts of items that I am particularly fond of.

Today when I went to wash my face in the shower, I noticed that my face wash was missing. So was my razor. My sister took them to camp with her! (ironically it was church camp). This has happened so many times before and she will swear up and down until her face is blue that she bought the item in question. I know she is going to do the exact same thing this time when she gets home and my mother won't do a thing about it. Plus, she is gone for a week so I need to go and get a razor and facewash to replace the stuff she stole.

When I told my mother that my sister took my stuff, the first thing she asked was "did you put your name on it?" Wtf? Seriously? Am I now expected to brand any item that I ever purchase in fear that my klepto sister will try and steal it? Yes, I do put my name on several items that I own because of this very reason but is it now my fault that my sister stole more of the items I bought? My mom refuses to talk to her because she doesn't want to start an argument. She thinks I am overreacting. Am I? What should I do? My mom shuts down when I try and discuss it with her. All she says is that I should put my name on things and hide them from my sister.

Btw, my sister has a history of this kind of behavior. She used to take things from people at school and more than once she got caught by my mother trying to steal stuff from the store (these are when she was really young though, under 10 years old).

I'm sorry for the super long rant. I am just so frustrated and had to get that out.

41 Replies (last)

My sister and I went through the exact same thing. She turned into a thieving crackhead later in life. You should punch your sister in the face. NoW.

Is it possible to install a locking doorknob on your bedroom door?  Seriously, some things you just can't put a name on, and if you are spending your own money on this stuff, you can't afford to keep having things disappear.  A doorlock with a key is probably the easiest and less conflict-causing solution.  Then you can keep EVERYTHING in your room, just as if you were at a dorm.

Dang that's annoying... and I'd bet if she was just up-front with you, and asked you if she could borrow your face wash and razor, you'd be more than happy to help her out... but for her to go behind your back and simply take your stuff without so much as a thank-you!! That would just cheeze me off!! Maybe it's time your sis seeks some professional help... this kleptomania stuff is so not cool. Or maybe it's a sign that you seriously need to move out, and get away from her!! Hmm... this is a tough situation since you're family and all; I feel for you.

Put a lock on your bedroom door & keep all your stuff away from her. She won't change because she doesn't think she has to. Your mother obviously thinks that it is okay for your sister to steal because she does not deal with it. Save your money & when you can afford it move.

I will definitely get a new doorknob with a lock on it tonight while I am out getting my facewash and a new razor. I did used to lock my door but I kept locking the key in my room and then I eventually lost the key about a month ago. I'm gonna give it another go though. I really need to do something proactive about it rather than just sit around being all pissed off.

Thanks for all the comments. I really do feel better after ranting.

A lock for your bedroom door will be far cheaper than replacing stuff constantly and much less stressful.

BTW, there's also a camcorder clock they make for the truly paranoid so you can catch her in the act of the thievery if you're that ticked off...retail ~$200, but maybe on ebay for much less.

Another alternative is for your mother to buy both of you all of these types of items and to reimburse her for them.  It's unfortunate that your mother is choosing not to be a parent in this instance, but you can't make her do anything any more than you can make your sister.

Keep your key around your neck & a spare with a trusted friend that could come over & unlock your door if needed.

They do have (more expensive) doorknobs that you can use a passcode on, if keys are hard for you to remember.  When I was in college and away from my parents for the first time, I had my room key attached to my wallet, so I never left without it.

A doorknob with an electronic keypad would be so awesome! I would definitely feel like James Bond every time I used it.

If it's possible, I think I will have a few spares made and hide them in the house somewhere. Now that I have a plan of action I do feel more in control. Thanks for the helpful comments!

My sister did this....  Get a basket and take your stuff with you, lock your door.  Shoot I even kept my own TP because she was too lazy to fill the roll after emptying it.  She went a week once....SO FOUL.  I personally do not thing it is reasonable to label everything so a SIBLING wont take it.  In a dorm is one thing... but at home?  Really? 

I finally got sick of the whole basket thing, I just moved out. 

Those doorknobs can easily be opened with a license, credit card, library card etc, btw. Just letting you know it isn't fail-proof. I lived with a klepto for a long time too.

Unfortunately, she is your sister. Your younger sister..still a child, really. You live at won't end until you have your own place.

I have three younger sisters. I speak from experience.

I agree with everyone else.  Put a lock on your door and keep your bathroom things in a basket and just carry them with you when you need to take a shower/wash your face/put on makeup.  Unfortunately, the locked door isn't foolproof, but it's a start. 

It sounds like your mom just plain and simple doesn't want to be a parent in this situation.  That is really unfortunate.  This is a real problem that your sister has and it won't be resolved unless an adult (not her sister) confronts her about it. 

Also, I would not put the keys around the house...give the spares to someone you trust. 

This struck me - you said "When I told my mother that my sister took my stuff, the first thing she asked was "did you put your name on it?"

The next time she says that to you, ask if your sister has to put her name on her stuff. 

Your sister has a problem and your parents have to deal with it now.  But you have to protect your things, so I'd do as kaetlynm says.  It's what we've all done in college dorms - you get a caddy for your personal items and carry them with you to the shower. 

Clearly mark all your possessions and keep them locked up if need be. install a padlock on your door.  You could also mark some items in a hidden place, that you know she will steal.  That way you could prove to your mother they are stolen.  Show your mother the way you mark them first.  Catch the thief in the act!

Demand that your parents pay to replace the missing items too.

Good Luck

clairelaine, I love your sting operation idea!  That is a really great thought!  To the OP, if you want to catch her in the act, you might have to go searching for your, you should mark your stuff, show your mom and then TAKE your mom with you to search for it once it goes missing. 

Get an axe and chop her sticky fingers off (jk)..

I would move out...saves all the hassle.

Make a not-so-obvious mark on the item(s) in question rather than putting your name on it.  That way when she is caught with the item and insists its hers, you can demonstrate its actually yours.

You should get some gag gifts / toys and leave those around for her.  Some conditioner that turns her hair blue or toothpaste that turns her teeth green would be a good lesson.

Realistically locking your stuff up is a good idea.  Annoying, but its better than wondering where everything went.

Original Post by kvalhion:

You should get some gag gifts / toys and leave those around for her.  Some conditioner that turns her hair blue or toothpaste that turns her teeth green would be a good lesson.


I agree that you shouldn't hide your keys around the house. She just might find one and figure it's for your room. Either give them to someone you trust or attach it to something that you always have with you. You could even put a key on a string/chain and wear it as a necklace.

Good luck!

Blue shampoo, definitely!

And I like Clairlaine's idea of a padlock, rather than a doorknob, since cptbunny brought up the weakness of a doorknob. 

41 Replies (last)