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The Lounge
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When I first came to this site, I was thrilled. I started counting calories to get healthy. But then I posted my goal weight, and everyone had a HUGE issue with it. They never asked me why my goal is what it is, they just assumed that I wanted to look anorexic. I am very small boned, and I went to the doctor and asked him. He said it would be okay to be 107 if I was eating 2000cals and was getting exercise. I have a ton of heart related deaths in my family, and my mom has VERY high cholesteral. So I am not here to become emaciated, I am here so that I can live a long, healthy life. I have tried to tell people my weight loss is doctor monitored and my doctor is approving everything I do, but it got blown off. So I tried to stop telling people my GW. Last night, I posted my GW(heres my origional post):

 Hi, I'm 15, 5'8 and I will weigh 107 lbs. I have struggled with my weight all my life, and I now weigh 158, I want to be thin. I will not become anorexic, My grandmother, whom in bone frame I look like, died of anorexia. I practically watched  her die. She weighed about 60 lbs, and wrote down every bite of food/calories she took in. I don't want to die like that. I have to much going for me. I just got a mercedes, I have a job that I can use for the rest of my life. I am so happy in my life, I just need the body to match. I feel thin on the inside, and I need to step out of this fat suit, and then I will have it all. Is that so hard for everyone to understand? I LOVE LIFE! I just don't love being fat.

And I got attacked. Here is the reply I got from robynanne:

OMG Diorbaby you have a VERY insane idea of what a 5'8" person should weigh.  107 is NOT a good weight for a person that is 5'8".  try 130 - at the VERY skinny level.  160 would even be healthy.

Sure, we understand your motivation, but it has NOTHING to do with health and frankly, I'm tired of hearing about it.  Go get support FOR your eating distortion somewhere else.  Maybe is looking for new members.  Who knows.  *I* on the other hand, need to really work to avoid diabetes and heart problems and get fit so that I can be there for my family as my kids grow.  I just don't feel like saying "whoo hoo, way to go" as you distort your body to insanity.  Actually, I also don't feel like saying "That isn't healthy, please talk to your doctor, I'm really worried about you." because clearly, you don't care and I don't like wasting my time.


This is my reply to Robyn:

Robyn-I AM trying to avoid diabetes, In fact I am currently living with my maternal aunt, who HAS diabetes. Nearly all of the women in my family have diabetes, and ALL the men in my mothers family have DROPPED DEAD by the age of 60. My grandfather, whom I never met, was getting ready to start a bike race when he turned around, smiled at my grandmother, and dropped. We do not know what he died from, all we know is that the men have all had  heart attacks/heart problems. I am not here to be anorexic, I am here to get healthy. I wish you hadn't judged me before you even got to know me AT ALL. But I am leaving the site. Thank you. Kate.

See, what Robyn didn't bother asking is why I want to lose weight. She assumed that I was anorexic. I have seen anorexia. My grandmother died at 62 from it, She weighed only 60lbs. She starved to death in the hospital. It was not pretty, glamorous, or remotely attractive. She had nearly no hair, bad fingernails and brittle bones. 

One thing she (robyn) said is true: I probably would be better off going to an anorexia site. I have never been to one, But I am guessing that they might actually try to get to know me before judging me. I am not anorexic, and never have been. I don't want to leave CC, But I know that I will not be posting anything on these message boards again. I will use the site for the calorie/weight tracking only. Thank you for your time, and to those who actually tried to get to know me, thank you for your help. Kate.

Edit: I noticed that many of you said that doctors can be wrong, but I have not only gone to the doctor who has known me since I was born, But I went to a dietician and she said that that weight FOR MY BODY TYPE would be fine, as long as I was eating 2000 cals, which is the exact same thing my other doctor said. Sorry I didn't post this in the first place!
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Me either. Is that one of the Trolls that I learned about today from CC? If so how do you know?
chunkyguy, I don't think Mariska is a troll; she's (I'm assuming Mariska's female) been a member for a few weeks. I just think that's an interesting first post, is all. Someone who had a BMI of 17.5 suggesting that it's okay for someone else to have a BMI of 16.3... yeah, interesting.
I suspect that athene is not saying it's a troll, but another proto-anorexic... (anorexics don't always recognize what they are, just like alcoholics don't always realize that they have a problem).
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thank you trust and athena for  clearing it up... sheesh sometimes I feel like theres a "code" that I have to uncover or something.... 
I don't think we should be throwing the word "anorexic" around.

You guys assume that BECAUSE someone is too thin, they're anorexic. I don't think that's necessarily true.  Anorexia is a mental disease, not a state of body. Being too thin.. could simply be a bad choice.
stlgirl, well, if there IS a code, you don't think we'd admit it, do you? :-D
I understand! Thanks!
She seemed misguided to me, but not anorexic. I agree with Howard.
That's true, hkellick, being too thin could just be carelessness and an unhealthy lifestyle.

However, wanting to be too thin, denying that you are underweight and unhealthy, and deliberately living your life so as to be underweight, is another matter.

Just like being obese can result from carelessness and a bad lifestyle, but being a "gainer" (like in those twisted feeder/gainer relationships) is a sign of mental illness. (And for the record, those who believe that they are "just fine", even though they are morbidly obese and have mobility problems, have problems which are likely as severe as the average anorexic's.)
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Athena - theres no doubt in my mind that I WOULDNT know the code...  :)
I'm a bit disappointed she feels so bad tho
Sorry, no disrespect to the original post
There are alot of uneducated/miseducated souls out there... People that believe that they can reduce their bodies to look like some of these runway models and that's perfectly OK.

It's interesting because across the pond in places like Spain, ALL The women look like that or want to. That's actually the natural norm. Over here in America, though, the norm, of course, is totally different.

I don't think it's fair to pin it ENTIERLY on mental illness, though I won't say that's never an issue, or that for some people, they aren't in heavy states of Denial, but that there's also societal norms and pressures from the Beauty Industry to be "Thin and Beautiful".
If there were one, you mean, stlgirl, right? ;-)

(My apologies to diorbaby, too, for the off-topic posts...)
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RIGHT Athena... LOL
Trustwomen- My brother is 18. But my parents are both super skinny. I doubt he'll ever get anything close to a gut.

And as far as nobody ever having a frame small enough to be "underweight" and still healthy, that's just ignorant. I know plenty of people who are really really thin and TRY to gain weight and just can't. Because being really thin is just in their genes. And healthy for them.
I agree that the social pressures don't help, hkellick, though I disagree that all the women in Spain are thin. This WHO report on Europe shows that obesity is on the rise all over the continent.

It is true that European women are much thinner than their US counterparts, but I don't believe that it is an unhealthy level of thinness. (And if they all stopped smoking they'd probably gain a few pounds anyway). Genetic variation also plays a part - southern populations are naturally more slender than northern ones, etc., and the Spanish are southern.

I think the social and media pressures feed into the obsessive/compulsive nature of the disorder, and possibly foster the disorder in people who would otherwise not have fallen prey to it, but on the whole, people who seek to be underweight and unhealthy do, by definition, have a mental illness. There are orders of magnitude more people who want to be at an unrealistically low BMI for their particular body, but where their target is still within the healthy range. They don't have anorexia, and won't likely have health problems unless their tactics are harmful.
I agree. Some people are born naturally thin and that's their natural body state. They are perfectly healthy that way.

But.. let's be honest, that's not the issue. If you're looking to lose weight and trying to get to an unhealthy weight, then that's NOT your natural body state and it IS Unhealthy.

That's what people need to understand.
It bothers me that this thread was hijacked. I reported it, because that is just rude.

This is a serious issue on this site.

If you want to talk make your own thread, instead of chatting on a thread that some girl said she was leaving CC because the members are so catty and rude and haughty.

Luckily, I haven't had any problems with any of the members, you are all very kind to me, but this is just plan rude.
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