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The Lounge
Moderators: spoiled_candy, nomoreexcuses, Mollybygolly, peaches0405

When I first came to this site, I was thrilled. I started counting calories to get healthy. But then I posted my goal weight, and everyone had a HUGE issue with it. They never asked me why my goal is what it is, they just assumed that I wanted to look anorexic. I am very small boned, and I went to the doctor and asked him. He said it would be okay to be 107 if I was eating 2000cals and was getting exercise. I have a ton of heart related deaths in my family, and my mom has VERY high cholesteral. So I am not here to become emaciated, I am here so that I can live a long, healthy life. I have tried to tell people my weight loss is doctor monitored and my doctor is approving everything I do, but it got blown off. So I tried to stop telling people my GW. Last night, I posted my GW(heres my origional post):

 Hi, I'm 15, 5'8 and I will weigh 107 lbs. I have struggled with my weight all my life, and I now weigh 158, I want to be thin. I will not become anorexic, My grandmother, whom in bone frame I look like, died of anorexia. I practically watched  her die. She weighed about 60 lbs, and wrote down every bite of food/calories she took in. I don't want to die like that. I have to much going for me. I just got a mercedes, I have a job that I can use for the rest of my life. I am so happy in my life, I just need the body to match. I feel thin on the inside, and I need to step out of this fat suit, and then I will have it all. Is that so hard for everyone to understand? I LOVE LIFE! I just don't love being fat.

And I got attacked. Here is the reply I got from robynanne:

OMG Diorbaby you have a VERY insane idea of what a 5'8" person should weigh.  107 is NOT a good weight for a person that is 5'8".  try 130 - at the VERY skinny level.  160 would even be healthy.

Sure, we understand your motivation, but it has NOTHING to do with health and frankly, I'm tired of hearing about it.  Go get support FOR your eating distortion somewhere else.  Maybe is looking for new members.  Who knows.  *I* on the other hand, need to really work to avoid diabetes and heart problems and get fit so that I can be there for my family as my kids grow.  I just don't feel like saying "whoo hoo, way to go" as you distort your body to insanity.  Actually, I also don't feel like saying "That isn't healthy, please talk to your doctor, I'm really worried about you." because clearly, you don't care and I don't like wasting my time.


This is my reply to Robyn:

Robyn-I AM trying to avoid diabetes, In fact I am currently living with my maternal aunt, who HAS diabetes. Nearly all of the women in my family have diabetes, and ALL the men in my mothers family have DROPPED DEAD by the age of 60. My grandfather, whom I never met, was getting ready to start a bike race when he turned around, smiled at my grandmother, and dropped. We do not know what he died from, all we know is that the men have all had  heart attacks/heart problems. I am not here to be anorexic, I am here to get healthy. I wish you hadn't judged me before you even got to know me AT ALL. But I am leaving the site. Thank you. Kate.

See, what Robyn didn't bother asking is why I want to lose weight. She assumed that I was anorexic. I have seen anorexia. My grandmother died at 62 from it, She weighed only 60lbs. She starved to death in the hospital. It was not pretty, glamorous, or remotely attractive. She had nearly no hair, bad fingernails and brittle bones. 

One thing she (robyn) said is true: I probably would be better off going to an anorexia site. I have never been to one, But I am guessing that they might actually try to get to know me before judging me. I am not anorexic, and never have been. I don't want to leave CC, But I know that I will not be posting anything on these message boards again. I will use the site for the calorie/weight tracking only. Thank you for your time, and to those who actually tried to get to know me, thank you for your help. Kate.

Edit: I noticed that many of you said that doctors can be wrong, but I have not only gone to the doctor who has known me since I was born, But I went to a dietician and she said that that weight FOR MY BODY TYPE would be fine, as long as I was eating 2000 cals, which is the exact same thing my other doctor said. Sorry I didn't post this in the first place!
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at 15 years old, you should probably just listen to your doctors... you dont need CC.   You're still a growing child, and none of us are qualified to give you the advice or help you need.   Everything happens for a reason, and maybe its best that you do leave.
Honestly, unless her "body type" is 5'2", I think she should look for different doctors. Really.
Not very annoyed if you have to look back to see if you will be missed...
I have a body type very similar to vthompson1, and I was naturally thin when I was younger, and I ate everything under the sun. Because of an injury, I had to stop everything but eating so I gained a TON of weight! And am now trying to lose
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its amazing what someone elses version of a TON of weight is....
so replying doesnt count as "ever posting again" ? :)
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LoL giggle puppy
Yeah giggle, I was hoping you'd weigh in on this.
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Am I in the wrong if I think that this site should be for people 18+??
what can i say, i own the longue now. IT IS MINE!   .... ^_^
how could oyu be sure anyone was over 18?

Are you here for any particular reason, or do you just like to take the opportunity to jump on anything a person says simply because it appears to be the popular thing to do?

If you haven't come to say goodbye, no degree of insincerity and snide-ness is going to help her with any problems she may have.
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this is true...  I guess I just think at 15 you should be a kid.. but then again, that was 10 years ago for me, and times have changed...  internet wasnt as big back then as it is today, and I guess all kids are different.   I just wasnt concerned about counting calories at 15 like kids are today, and I think they should keep growin, and let their body do what its going to do.
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sachari - are you talking to me?
eh i dont really mind them, hell im only 20 =P
Can you find my post so applicable to you that you would have to ask? If so, yes.

I've seen Dior around the site and frankly I am sorry to see her go, and since she probably won't be posting again in such an acidic environment, no one here will probably ever know how she turns out. If anyone was worried, wouldn't that worry them more? Isn't it nice to know someone is still alive?

I came to say goodbye in a thread that simply stated a reason she was exiting stage left, it's generally not in good taste to ridicule someone behind their back.
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fallinstars... always the voice of reason.. there she is!  :)
Diorbaby, I am glad that you are in such good contact with your doctor and a dietician!  Clearly you have your head on you, and I'm sorry for the posts that have troubled you.

People get very passionate here about the lower end of the weight spectrum, for good and ill.  And, I will be honest when I say that I do not think everyone's hearts are always in the right place here, some people just like to stir the pot and have little to say that is helpful or beneficial when it comes to the subject of healthy weight loss.

Nevertheless, the majority of the community is helpful and decent.  I'm glad that you will continue to use the site tools.  Don't forget too that there is a journal feature, where you can 'friend' people who are like-minded, make your journal entries 'friends only', and essentially have your own private forum to discuss whatever you please without having to worry about the folks who are less than helpful. 

Best of luck to you!
180 Replies (last)