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Clingy friend...

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Alright, so, there's a girl at my school who I'll refer to as 'Jane'.  I didn't know her until this year, but we've got a few friends in common and have a couple of classes together.

Anyway, I was friendly, talked with her, sat with her at lunch... and now I'm GLUED to her.  She's always hovering nearby or following me through the hallways, interupting my conversations with other people, leaning too close, touching my stuff, and just generally invading my 'bubble'. 

It's sort of messing with my social life.  She's always with me, and it's hard to be with anybody else one-on-one.  I'd love to sit somewhere else at lunch, but the table where my friends are has very little room so Jane wouldn't be able to sit with me, and I'd feel bad. 

She's nice and all... but I haven't got any sort of desire for her to be anything but an aquaintance. 

I'm near certain she's got some sort of social (mental?) disability.  No one's outright mean to her, but she's generally excluded and only has a few friends. 


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Is Jane new to your school?  If you feel you need a little more space you may explain to her that your friends at the table that doesn't have any room for her have felt a little excluded by you and ask if she minds if you bow out for that lunch period.  Maybe do this once a week and slowly wean her away to be forced to seek out new friendships....or if you have another aquaintance that is not really social or eats alone and introduce them and ask them if she can eat with them for that lunch period then she won't be left alone.  I went to 13 schools in 12 years and spent many lunch hours alone and every bit of kindness that was shown to me was greatly appreciated.......I wish you the best.

Oh boy I can totally relate to this.  I have a friend who is so clingy, refuses to accept the answer 'no' when I say I don't want to hang out.  The story with her is a little bit different than with 'Jane' in your story.  My friend (we'll call her Dana) used to be friends with all the other people in my group.  But everyone in the group slowly tore away from her and when I tried, I utterly failed.  She stuck to me like glue.  I tried so hard to get rid of her and I just couldnt.  Partly because she just wouldnt give up and partly because I felt bad for her because she really didnt have any other friends.  Well recently, I explained to her that we just cant hang out everyday; its just too much.  I explained that it's not that I dont like her, but its that I dont like the person I become when I'm around her.  I told her I didnt mind hanging out once in a while still, but it was really annoying getting text emssages from her like 10 times a day asking where I was, and it was quite sketchy to an extent.  Luckily, she totally understood and agreed to stop always wondering where I am and that we didnt have to hang out every single day. 

In the past, I had tried to just wean myself away from her, but she always caught on, so I was very upfront with her and that is what seemed to work.  Good luck!

I can also relate.There is this girl at school that is alil dorky and talks funny.She is my age 25 but acts really immature .She had like most of my classes so we started talking about assignments and general info about school.So I had known her for about a year and I could not get rid of her either.She has few friends and even they would talk about her behind her back.My friends were starting to talk about her too and wondered why I hung around her, but I'm a very nice person and I don't like to judge a person or discriminate in anyway, so I continued to talk to her and let her hang out with me.But she too would come out of no where and interupt my conversations even when I was talking to the I would be studying for a class and she would interupt me all the time and it would piss me off. I wanted to shine her off , but I also felt bad , but we recently( about 3 months ago) had an argument and I finally stopped talking to her. I didn't like her attitude.She had a rudeness about her when she would comment on things and honestly I don't even think she realized it.She tried to appologize but I was already too sick of her attitude and moved on. I'm glad that happened otherwise I would of never got rid of her.

Yeah I would also say to take her around with you and introduce her to a few other people that you think she would get along with. I think she'll be clinging because she has no-one else.

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Yay, I'read the post, then I read the replies and now i see that i'm going to be the only mean bi*ch here. I had two or three people like that in my life (and separating from one of them is still "in progress") and my experience makes me say... Life is too short to hang out with people you don't feel comfortable with or you just don't want to be friends with, or who annoy you etc. Not that i'm encouraging you to be plainly rude to her, but i'd try and disentangle from this relationship ASAP - before one day you snap and really be rude to her. If simply talking to her and telling her that you don't think you are cut out to be close friends and you feel awkward because of what she's doing - perhaps ignoring her is the only option? I understand you will feel guilty, but in the end it always comes to this - either you will feel bad or she. And even though it does not sound encouraging, the certain thing is that your and her feeling bad will be shorter and more bearable if you finish it soon (usually works this way with rejection). Otherwise you will feel trapped and frustrated for a looooooong time, believe me.

Good luck.

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