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The Lounge
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Biological Dad was finally given 100% disability status for being nuts.  One of the first things he did was call Mom to tell her I can now get my college education completely free and be reimbursed what I've already paid.

Part of me wants to decline because I'm stubborn and I want nothing from him.  The other part of me says, "Wahoo!"  'Cause, you know, I gave up all hopes and dreams of ever going to college when I left high school to make sure he'd never attempt suicide again.

Tough choice. :\

21 Replies (last)

Don't be stubborn! take the dough!

do it. it may be one of the few positives to come from it. 

Take the money.

This is a dilemma how?

Take the money. Based on your description of Dad, I would confirm availability of funds before committing....

From one stubborn ass to another..   take it.  A gift is a gift, even if there's a little s*** on the wrapping. 

Sorry my response wasn't more eloquent.  

You've taken the lumps.  Here's a good thing.  Take it and run. 

take the money. he obviously wants to help you out. maybe this can be  way for you to change your relationship. i'm not saying to have a father-daughter one, but at least get along.

Wait...this is a possibility?  *tries to figure out a way to get parents and in-laws declared nuts*


It can be the one good thing that your father did for you.

Original Post by amethystgirl:

It can be the one good thing that your father did for you.

^ absolutely this.


CD as everyone has already said take the money.  Maybe he is trying to make amends.  Use the money wisely.  Put it towards your kids education.  Invest in your retirement fund or further your education.

Dude, take it :|

Take it. Social security paid for my mom to go to college, too because her dad had severe paranoid schizophrenia and was on full disability. I don't think there's anything wrong with taking it.

Take eeeeeeet!

Small life story which will eventually tie in or not: My Mother once offered to help me the day after my husband died. I said, help me rip up this green shag soiled carpet.

She got down on her hands and knees with me and worked hard ripping it up and getting all the carpet staples out.

To this day, I can fondly look back on that memory. How she actually helped me.

Do this for your future self, Celly. A precious gift will be when you can say "My Dad helped me with this".

It's the diamond in the pile of stones.

It's worth it.

If you don't want the money Inbox me. I think it costs 12.50 to legally change my name in this state. I live in a University Town & would give a toe to be able to go back to school. I will take the money so fast it will make you dizzy.

I promise to do my best to graduate with honors. I would let Osama Bin Liden pay if he were still alive and would.. :))) 

Take the money! I can be stubborn too but if you're entitled, I say use it!!
I have a father who was recently diagnosed with a head injury from when he was 13! All my life he was just an ass (that's how I dealt). I'm still trying to deal with the diagnosis, but it doesn't change the years of dealing with his bizarreness. You're father is probably trying to make some kind of amends for having a mental issue. He may not be able to communicate it properly, and this is one way of saying 'I'm sorry. This is what I can do for you, even though I couldn't/didn't do (enter any/all issues) back then. I do love you, but I don't know how to show you'. Take the money. Make sure you express somehow that you appreciate the gift but that you are still needing time to deal with your emotions regarding his diagnosis; you're not guaranteeing you're going to be BFFs now, nor are you sure how long you're going to need. Education is ├╝ber important, and even more expensive. Allow him to do this for you. Don't allow it to make you feel indebted in any way. Go to see the college/uni mental health people - doesn't mean you're mental. Means you want to deal with your emotions properly and so that you don't have a breakdown later. They helped me. I haven't seen my father in almost 20 yrs. He's not contacted me in several either, save for the letter I got last year trying to explain his head injury. The letter ended with 'so that's why'. Take the money.

Is insanity hereditary? Because you'd be crazy not to take it.

My ex-husband was able to convince the government that he was disabled due to his time in Vietnam. My son was then able to collect SSI for his college. We didn't find out about the money until J was almost out of school. He then got a lump sum payment for all the time he had been eligible. It paid for all of his student loans.

My ex was a terrible father, and in one way, J didn't want to take the money for the very same reasons you don't want to do so. I encouraged him to take it, because J deserved the money. It wasn't a gift from his dad. His dad did try to use it as an excuse to try to control J into having a relationship with him. But that didn't work.

I also think you should take it, but don't let him guilt-trip you into having a relationship with him that you're not comfortable with.

I don't know what happened between you two, but from what I've read here I guessed that he was a negligent father. This is what he should have done years ago. You deserve the money.

Verify it,  take it in a lump sum,  spend it wisely!

21 Replies (last)