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I just feel like I can't Win :(

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I am so sick and tired of myself. I have been on this weightloss journey for about 3 years now. I always find myself on a high, and then get knocked down to the ground. I'm definitely not the type to play the "victim" because I know that I do have the power to control calorie intake... But if that is the case, why am i so powerless most of the time. I feel out of control... What is wrong with me? Then a voice in my head says "You might as well give up, you've been fighting for years and youre a loser because you're still fat". Consistency is so NOT my bestfriend... and it's not that I don't want to be consistent... It"s just so D*mn hard for me and I dont know why... I just feel drained, and tired of fighting this fight, cause it's like I can't win. I've joined this site as a last resort. I've never been able to share these feelings with my loved ones because they can't relate to me... They are all thin. Plus the fact that I can remain anonymous helps with my comfort level. Anyway, I guess I've always longed for a support system thru all of this. I hope to learn from the ppl on this site.

I envy you all who are winning this fight. I so wish to be in your shoes.

Pray 4 Me

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After many, many years of losing and gaining weight and gaining some more, I've finally decided to go the gastric bypass route.  my BMI is 40+, I' pre-diabetic, have high blood pressure, high cholesterol and my knees and back are contantly killing me. Next week I have an appointment for Behavioral Evaluation and then to talk to a nutritionist.  My journey has just begun!  Maybe weight loss surgery is something to think about. good luck to you!

I can relate to you feeling like you want to give up.  That is exactly how I was feeling about 19 months ago when I stepped on the scale and finally faced the fact that I was over 300 pounds.   What I came to realize was that having to lose so much weight was just overwhelming and I always set high goals for myself, didn't meet them and then just quit whatever it was I was doing.  

So I decided to give up dieting and trying to LOSE weight, but since I did not want to GAIN any more weight, I joined this site and decided to start counting my calories.  I told myself I could eat whatever I wanted, but I had to log every bite and be honest with myself.   That was the beginning of my journey.  Of course, logging made me realize how much I was eating and how bad it was, so I started to make small changes.   And the grading of the days touched my competitive streak making me want those "A" days, so I started trying healthier options.  And shock...  the weight started to come off, slowly, but still!   Then after I lost a bit, I started to feel better and added exercise to my life (just walking, to begin).   Long story short, I've now lost 120 pounds and run a 5k race.  

Still a ways to go for me, but my point is that I did "give up" on dieting and unrealistic goals and in its place just starting trying to eat a little better while tracking everything I ate.   I had always given lip service to wanting to change my lifestyle, but didn't really understand what that meant until I did it.   So maybe you should forgot about how much weight you feel you need to lose - for now - and focus on baby steps of trying to eat a little healthier and using CC to log everything and enjoy the supportive environment.  You may be surprised by the results as I was.  Good luck to you.

It sounds like you are an emotional eater.

What you will need is to learn why you eat. It sounds like you already know calories in must be less than calories out. I highly recommend two programs. One is called "Weighdown" (49.99 for 6 week program) It is faith based. You can know why you are eating and still be helpless to overcome it. I have found great success knowing why I am eating and leaning on God to help me overcome the emotional eating. The other is called Shrink Yourself. Dr. Gould has a book also by the same name. ($80 for 12 weeks.) I went through Shrink Youself and though it has a lot of great information I needed to know what to do with that information when I was done. Shrink Yourself addresses the why adequately. Weighdown addressed the 'why' and the 'what now'. I have been able to recently push away a plate 1/2 full because I am no longer hungry and turn down COOKIES!!! I can now eat like a thin person because I have the right tools. Otherwise I would have just kept Yo-yo dieting. I hope you find these resources helpful.

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Most everyone on this site has had the challenge. Keep in mind you are not alone. I have lost and gained 100 lbs 5 times. Yes this is hard. Try looking at different diets that you think you can live with or tweak. After many ups and downs I have done very well with no sugar or starch. I finally broke the constant crave. Good luck and I am praying for you.
OH MY GOSH, I know exactly how you feel. I feel for you do much, and I will certainly pray for you. You're a blessing for hanging in there. We can support each other--I am in a similar place right now. Nothing but good wishes and love. "Ou can't have a good tomorrow if every today is about yesterday."

Stop beating yourself up.  Yes it's hard for you but it's hard for everyone.  10 pounds or 100 pounds it's all the same formula to loose a pound.  Look around you, look how easy it is to make poor choices.  Nobody can be perfect or make the right choice all the time.  Your journey is a marathon not a sprint.  Take it one day at a time, don't give up.

I am also sailing in the same boat, i have noticed my friends eating twice the quantity and are half my size. Are we cursed with bad genes ?

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I totally agree that a lifestyle change is what people who struggle with too much weight need unless there is a medical reason for the gain (thyroid, for example).

I subscribe to CalorieCount, but I use the Weight Watchers' Points Plus system. I lost a bit of weight just counting calories, but much more in much less time using WW+. I also started exercising (just walking at first, and now I go to the gym several times a week, too). Without the exercise, I would not be able to lose weight even following WW (or it would be excruciatingly slow weight loss for me). I now look forward to my workouts and am doing more than I thought I could. I have met my first goal (getting to my premenopause weight) and am on my way to achieving a healthy BMI (just 5 or 6 lbs away now). After that, I hope to be able to lose another 10 to 15 lbs (still well within the healthy range), but this time with a lot more muscle weight vs. fat. You can be both thin and have too much fat.

I have given up on some of my favorite foods on a regular basis, but I still have them occasionally. I allow myself treats nearly every day (a piece of chocolate, a small serving of frozen yogurt, a cookie, for example). Restraint is something I had to learn. If I am having a higher calorie/higher fat meal on a certain day, I offset that with lots of fruits and veggies and better choices the rest of the day.

I wish you the best and hope and pray that you will be able to continue on your journey toward better health. :D


It is hard to change our entire lives where food and weight are not the center point.  It is hard to fail over and over, especially if you have no support system.  I don't know your religious feelings but a website called "Setting The Captives Free, The Lord's Table"  really helped me put things into perspective.  I hope you don't give up on yourself.  You are important, you can succeed and there are people on here who care about you.  I have been overweight for thirty years and the support and accountability along with the other website have helped me lose 40#s.  No, it hasn't been easy and no, it hasn't been fast but it is greatly worth it.  I want to live and I don't want to become a burden on others when I get older.  Take it one day at a time, believe in yourself, keep coming back to CC and, if need be, talk to someone professionally for some support. Blessings!!

I certainly understand--it's taken me 7 years to lose 70 pounds and I still want to lose 35 more!  Since you mentioned prayer, here's a great site:   Remember what Churchill said: Never, never, never, never....give up!  I've added you to my prayer list.

Thank you so much, I am really trying my best and trusting in God to help :) Bless u all for your encouraging words.

Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I have just joined setting the captives free. I am on my 3rd day and feeling so much support and love in this struggle. Thank you so much!

You are welcome for the encouragement!  That's one reason so many (if not most) of us are on this takes a village to raise a child and it takes all of us working together to get just about anything done! 

"No man is an island..."

I think you have to stop thinking of this as a battle, it has to be a lifestyle change, if you change your mindset as this is a good thing not a battle then maybe your body will let go. Stop fighting it and except that you need to change things to live a healthier life. Stop fighting your body and work with it. You know what you have to do, calories in calories out, so except and do, there is no try... there is only do if you want to get healthy. Take the slow road to freedom and turn that negative mindset off that fast road to failure. We all want to lose weight now, get better now, but you need to believe in yourself and know what you can and can not accomplish and then one step at a time go and do it. Please be kind to yourself, no more negative talk, you deserve better and you do have it in yourself to change if you want to. More positive talk...Take care of yourself
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