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I don't want to see old friends because I gained weight

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Do any of you ever feel like you don't want to see some of your old friends because you've gained weight? Sometimes I use seeing them as motivation. But I hate being so much bigger than I used to be :(

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If they're really your friends, they won't care that you've gained weight. Do you realize how sad it is that you're limiting yourself in this way just because you're heavier than the last time they saw you? It's not worth the wasted time, in my opinion. :(
I feel the same way. But I know it's a terrible way to think and MsDalfo is right, to them it shouldn't matter if they're your friends, because what matters is you as a person not how thin/fat/sexy/pretty/uglyyou look.

Totally know what you mean.  It is hard because we tie up our "success" and self worth so much with our weight.  Especially women, even women who like you, will judge you if you gain weight.  I know I need to get over caring what someone else thinks but especially since I don't feel comfortable  in my own skin I try to avoid extra opportunities where I might be judged.  My husband is an attorney but relocated to where I live when we married and after 6 months is working a job that has nothing to do with law, because honestly that is all he has been able to find.  He feels down and I know he doesn't feel like he is contributing as much as he "should".  Same feelings as with the weight gain.  Why can't we just feel proud of ourselves and not care what others think?

I know what you mean! Cry But I went through that and it made me feel lonely and like I didn't matter because no one talked to me. When you start letting embarassment and insecurities get the better of your social life, everything will go down hill. Humans are social creatures who really only become better through other people AND our selves. Try to force yourself to intereact with your friends, and to really have fun.

They'll support you in whatever issues you have--but that doesn't mean they want to hear about how much you hate a part of yourself all the time. So whenever insecurities pop up about your body in front of your friends, give yourself a peptalk! Say, "I have THE sexiest butt EVER!" or, you know, whatever body part you like lol Never talk badly about yourself. ESPECIALLY when you know how much it can bring you down! Wink


You rock, Ashley!


I'm guilty of this too. I hate when I gain weight. It feels horrible. My MIL brings it up every time I see her so I don't visit her unless I really have to.
I am at my brother-in-law's and we're sitting around in sports chairs. He brought pizza. I was so embarrassed to get up to get a piece because it's hard to get out of these chairs when you're fat. I did get two pieces like everyone else. Then one by one they each got two more pieces. It took me a long time to get more pizza because I didn't want them to see me struggle and didn't want them to see me get more pizza. I finally did get up when they weren't looking. This is ridiculous!
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Funny - it is sort of like punishing you and your friends - wouldnt you be disappointed if a friend didnt show up where you were visiting because of how they looked?  I can just hear what you'd say--so go to the mirror and say that to yourself!  And have a good time with old friends.

Honestly there are times I have felt the same way. But tying self esteem with your looks is something we all work on. When I was younger, I used to break out in my skin and the days it was worse I would hate coming out of my room, let alone my house. But you would be surprised at how helpful it is to be around your friends. Just sitting around and complaining about all that you are stressing about, is very therapeutic. Just remember that everyone else has a thousand anxieties and more than likely wondering about their own than judging you for yours!

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