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My boyfriend is trying to sabotage my diet!

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Has anyone else done really well with their diet, then gotten a significant other who is not health concious and had them try to influcence you to do back to your old ways? I had lost most of the weight I wanted, was sticking to a get diet and exercise plan and was feeling great. I have FMS and JRA, too and they were not acting up at all!

Well, I've been seeing this guy for a month now, and within that month I have gained around 5 pounds, excersied once, and feel TERRIBLE. My FMS/JRA have flared and I am in constant pain.  My boyfriend is a little on the chubbier side, always wants to go out to eat, drink soda, eat fried foods, and spends too much time with me so that I have no time to work out because I also have homework, class, and the gym closes at 9.

When I tell him I'm trying to eat better and exercise more, he'll find some excuse to make me eat poorly and not exercise. It is SO frustrating!

I have who I've become lately and am so unhappy with this weight gain. What should I do??

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First let me say I am so sorry to hear about your situation.  You seemed to have been doing great with your exercise plan.

I wonder, have you ever sat down with your boyfriend and explained to him why you are dieting and exercising, and how it helps your FMS and JRA.  I mean, really explain to him?  It seems like you are suffering greatly by not being able to stay with your plan.

I think that if you really sit down with him and explain to him WHY, he should understand and be supportive.  I mean this is your health we're talking about here.  I can't see him continuing to force you to eat out if he knows that it causes you physical pain!

However, if you have already talked to him about it and he is still behaving this way (or you decide to have a conversation with him and he does not agreed to help) then it might be in your best interest to limit the amount of time you spend with him, putting him second to your health.

That really is what is important here, is you and your health and happiness.  I have had unsupportive partners before, and the best thing I ever did was to not keep them around so much (and in most cases they faded from my life).

I hope this helps . . . Undecided

That's funny, I guess that it happened the opposite to me LOL

My boyfriend is really thin and I was not thin (I had a slim body, but not that thin!) and I think he was, somehow, one of the reasons I lost weight during the past year! And now he's always trying to get me to eat more and gain weight because he thinks I eat too little and I am too skinny, but I don't really know who eats less and who is skinnier...!


Maybe you should just talk with him again. Make him understand that it's about health. If he doesn't hear you then maybe he's not as good as boyfriend as he seems.


Anyway, you shouldn't let yourself surrender to him that way. If you really want to do something then do it, don't let him get you blind. Always be truth to your beliefs!

You haven`t mentioned what the relationship is like. Do you two love one another? Is it likely that things will evolve into something more serious? It seems to all boil down to this: what is more important to you - him or your good health? And only you can answer that truthfully.

I know this doesn`t address your particular problem, but what I do is not even bother with guys who don`t share the same basic views concerning major issues as me to begin with. Or at least I look for them to have an opinion that is not the total opposite of mine, so to say. Not only regarding food and exercise, but anything from politics to religion to drugs, alcohol and cigarettes. I make the right amount of exceptions for the right amount of awesomeness, but generally experience has taught me that a huge difference in opinions is too much work to overcome.

Narrow-minded? Probably. Effective? You betcha.

First of all, I think you should realize that your boyfriend cannot MAKE you do anything without your permission.  If he is eating bad food, it does not mean you have to join him.  If he complains, too bad.  If he wants to spend all of his free time with you, you do not have to give all of yours to him.  You can tell him that a certain block of time is set aside for gym time. 

I understand that you want to please your boyfriend, but please do not do something at the expense of your health.  It is all about priorities: is your health or your boyfriend more important? 

Also, if your boyfriend does not accept your decision, then he is basically saying he doesn't care for your health. 

You should try to talk to him about it. 

Original Post by kaetlynm:

First of all, I think you should realize that your boyfriend cannot MAKE you do anything without your permission.

I agree 100% with Kaetlynm on this.  He can't make you do anything.  He can influence you, which he has, but definately can't make you unless he is holding you down and shoving micky d's down your throat.  I agree with the other posters as well.  You need to have a heart to heart.  If he says he will be supportive and acts supportive from that point forward, then that's great.  If he says he won't or says he will but still seems to be sabotaging you, bail out.  He may try to appease you by telling you he will support you but won't. 

You are in pain again.  That's enough to tell you that what you are doing is not the right thing for your health.  Do the right thing for your health and if the boyfriend is a support system, keep him.  If not, find a new one.

Your significant other should ENHANCE your life.  Not BECOME your life.



6 Replies