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Help with shyness / anxiety?

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I have been struggling lately with my shyness and anxiety. I am tired of being isolated from social situations because of my issues. I have few friends because of it.

I can tolerate small groups of people without too much problem, but even in a small group of close family friends I can rarely get enough courage to talk. It is nearly impossible for me to keep a conversation going and I usually end up the person sitting in the chair awkwardly all night and being ignored.

I also tend to find myself saying completely stupid, awkward or seemingly inappropriate things before I can stop myself or think about what I am saying. I also have an issue with taking everything to heart. If someone says something to me that isn't that big of a deal it usually ruins my entire day.

In large groups I tend to be okay as long as there is someone who I feel 'safe' with around me at all times. I tend to shake a lot and I am on the verge of tears at all times. On days I am feeling depressed or have particularly low confidence it all seems to be multiplied and I have to fight panic attacks.

So I was wondering if any of you had gone through a similar issue and how you came to overcome it or if you are working on it.

I have been told in the past that I should see a professional about this, but honestly I cannot afford it. We have huge medical bills from recent health complications with my father. I am currently jobless due to there being no available jobs in my small town, plus I am in a ton of college debt and we can't find an answer as to if my health insurance covers it. This is a sensitive topic to me and I don't like talking to my family about it, plus when I did they treated me like I was trying to be an attention-seeker and didn't take me seriously.

If you are going to post something rude or going to tell me something I have addressed above, please don't bother. Thanks.

Again, I just wanted to know if anyone else has the same issues as me and how they dealt with it.

If you took the time to read this, thank you.
5 Replies (last)

This sounds exactly like me! Its a shame that you cant see someone professional about it. I'm also sorry to hear that your family aren't taking you seriously and saying you are an attention seeker:( 

Is there no one else you can talk to? You say that there are certain people you feel safe around, if you feel anxious or are worried about something, can you not speak to them about it? I know that when I feel particularly anxious or worried about something I talk about it to those that I feel safe with, and although it doesnt take the problem away, I find that I feel that little bit less anxious!

Or, if you cant talk to anybody, why not get a diary? With a lock on, if needs be:) Sometimes once you've written down what it is you're anxious about, you look at it and think "wait a minute, thats not that bad, what on earth am I worrying about that for?" 

Hope I have been able to help a bit hunny:) xx

I have it the same way, I see a therapist but I don't really know how to deal with it yet other than the therapist giving me challenges like go somewhere and talk to someone.

If you want to talk, feel free to message me.

Hi Honey.

Please have hope in your situation and know that you are not alone. It sounds like you have exactly what myself and millions of other people suffer from, Generalized Anxiety Disorder or GAD. Basically, there is an imbalance of seratonin in your body. Seratonin imbalance in the body is believed affect mood therefore causing depression and anxiety. I take Lexapro which is in a class of drugs called Selective Seratonin Reuptake Inhibitors or SSRIs. This medicine is a miracle for me. My anxiety was so bad I could not leave my house without my husband for almost 3 months. There fear would just grip me and I would develop tunnel vision, my heart rate would go up, just a good old fashion panick attack! Now I can function like a normal person. I still get a little anxious on large 4-5 lane highways but other than that, I'm pretty great!

My suggestions to you is that you go to your regular Primary Care Provider and explain to them what you have shared with us. Ask about SSRI therapy. This way you may be able to walk out with the Rx without going through the expense of a Psychiatrist and/or therapy. I hope this helps. I've been a nurse for 19 years and was amazed i developed this when we relocated to the Baltimore-Washington area. I guess the big city kind of triggered my anxiety. I know many people with the same story as yours. Please be hopeful and don't let life pass you by! Take control!


May God Bless You and Protect You Always!

Feel free to message me anytime

after high school i got really bad ʌ 79;ANXIETY AND I GOT BACK BE SHY I HAVE A speech problem  that help with the anxiety i was on some meds for it it work but it made me gain weight and some of the stuff was happen to me so i stop take it in 2012 i told my stuff i want me life back and i don't care what people think of me if you let it take over you life you will never get over it so please don't let it take over you life you need to get you life back that what i did i started going back to the gym by myself and my shyness is getting better remember if you let it take over it is very hard to stop but you can do it going to the gym and just meet people it help me a lot or just go out and meet new people i hope it will help you and remember who care what people think about you and i take a water with me to drink so i don't pass out if you want to take water with you where  ever you go it may help to if you want to talk im here for you i know what you going through my family was the same why

Seeing a therapist would of course be ideal, but insurance can be absolutely horrible.  CBT or DBT is generally recommended for anxiety/depression.  There are some workbooks or books that describe these treatment methods that might help.

Basically its about recognizing irrational thoughts, reframing situations, and accepting feelings as just feelings, nothing more.  I've had terrible depression and anxiety, with multiple hospitalizations and suicide attempts.  I've been getting electroconvulsive therapy for a few years which really turned things around for me.  But now that my mood is more stable, I've been working hard in therapy.

I'm in school so being around people I don't know terrifies me.  I get physical symptoms like you mentioned, shaky hands, stuttering.  I always feel like I'm saying stupid things, like everyone hates me.  I also am sensitive/misinterpret how people react to what I do.  Like if someone says they don't want to do something with me, I automatically think they hate me or that they were judging what I said earlier.

But these sort of responses/negative thoughts become automatic after a while.  Whenever I used to make a little mistake (like drop something) I would automatically tell myself that "I'm a stupid piece of **** and I don't deserve to live"  ...looking back I know now that is not at all rational.  Maybe you can examine some of your negative thoughts and think if they actually make sense.  I would cry for hours if someone said they couldn't go to a movie or something with me, because I thought they hated me and I was worthless.  Now, I realize they probably were busy/had things to do/didn't have the money/were tired/etc.  

I have found journaling really helps me work through my thoughts and sort of understand my behaviors better.  I also make lists of little goals.  Anxiety is very difficult, so just make a few little goals to begin.  Like 1) Say hi or wave to people I know when I pass by  2)  Talk in class  3)  have lunch with someone 4)  ask someone how their day is

If you want to talk I would be happy to try to help.  Anxiety and depression are absolutely horrible, and all too common.  Just know that you are not alone...

5 Replies