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Health & Support
Moderators: tigermoth5, autopilotfrank193, nycgirl, bierorama, ksylvan, peaches0405

and exception to losing weight?

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ok, so i havent been on in a while. theres a lot of resons for that, mostly the idea of having to "diet" again seemed every unwelcoming. but, oh well. id just like to clear something up. ignore all of my previous posts. im a different person now, and those were all written at a very difficult time and im trying to get over it. so id like to start new. i almost even made a new account. anywayss. here my problem:

all of my friends are thin, and they eat whatever they want, whenever they want it. and nothing happens. they dont exercise it off, and they dont watch what they eat. im the exception. maybe my metabolism? also, i made it my obsession to know every single detail i can about weight loss and health, etc. so i know how the book tells you to lose weight. but i really dont think that works for me. maybe all the starvation+i had a slow metabolism in the frist place? idk. but if i eat or ate as much as the diets reccomend, or as much as my friends...i blow up like a balloon. its so frustraiting because im told that i want lose an ounce if i dont eat enough calories, but if i eat enough i gain weight. so what do i do?? im convinced that the only way for me to lose the weight would be to starve completley, even though now im in between cause i eat..but not as much as i "should" am i the exception to the classic diet?

p.s. dont worry, im not thinking about starving or deproving myself

Edited Feb 11 2008 21:50 by nycgirl
Reason: Moved from WL to H&S
25 Replies (last)
i completley understand your suggestions. but gaining an ounce would be tragic. im not going to consider, ponder, or debate the thought of gaining weight. its not an option for me. at all. another new size in jeans? more pudge for my stomach and thighs?? a fatter face...? just, no. i cant. i wont. it cant happen to me again.gaining that weight back made me feel disgusting. i feel fat as i am. actually theres never been a day in my life where ive been satisfied with my body. i can only go foreward. another step back is simply out of the question. i hope you can understand that.

i think you are in need of professional help...not to sound harsh but you flip flop between wanting to be healthy and not wanting to be healthy.  you are not taking anyone's advice (and everyone is genuinely giving you great advice)...perhaps you should check out the ED recovery forum...?
i want to get professional help. i would love to pass my problems over to someone else. someone who can promise me that theyll fix me for good. someone whos devoted to turning things around. to be able to just do what they tell me and not worry about making any decisions. not have to think about it anymore. it would be a big weight off my shoulders. and to be honest, if i didnt have to admit to my family that i even needed help in the first place, i would have gone. im not in denial. i know that ive had my share of problems. but i let my family be oblivious to them.

and youre right. i contradict myself. i want to have my cake and eat it to. i want to be healthy. i want to be thin. unfortunatley, for me, it just doesnt seem possible. and i know the obvious choice would be healthy. but to me its a close race.. im not even sure if itd be first on my list. kindof sad. =/
you can be healthy and thin!!  Listen to the good advice you've been given, and try to eat more!!!  I've been through where you are... trust me, if you gain an ounce, the world will not fall apart.  Yes, in that moment, you might feel as if it has.... but, you will pick yourself back up, and it will be fine.

What is your definition of healthy?

What is your definition of thin?

I started to eat more, and I even started to eat at night *gasp* like I would never ever do that before - and I lost weight.  You can continue to struggle and fight, both mentally and physically against your body all you want... but, your body knows at which weight it is happiest.   Find that point, and you won't gain anymore weight.  If you are underweight now, and need to gain weight - trust your body.  Eat enough of the right foods, and exercise in moderation, and your body will take care of you.  Pass your problems over to your body... it will fix you if you trust it to.  Stop listening to your mind.  Your mind is telling you all of these horrible, un true things... and your body is screaming against your mind (ie loss of period)

You need your period.  Without it, you will get osterporsis.  How would you like to be free and recovered from all of the ED'd thoughts.... but with the bones of a 70yr old??  If you don't  start getting help/support in real life for this now........ that is where you are headed.

Where are you from?? Are there any ED support groups/therapies you can go to?? PM if you'd like some help... I'm lucky enough to live in a city where there are free support groups for this, and for that I am extremely grateful.  I also have an excellent therapist, with a sliding scale so it's within my budget - I'd in in a hole in the ground if it wasn't for the support I have.

The whole first paragraph of your post above me..... makes me think that that person you are looking for - to pass your problems off to, to promise to fix you, devoted to turning things around.... that is YOU.  Sounds crazy.... but it will start from you.
its really for me to trust myself. ive spent so long hating...despising myself. i was my worst enemy. and i blamed myslef for every reason i was unhappy. it really wears you down, and tears you apart. but i understand what youre saying. it all begins with me. if i can expect myself, which has been the hardest thing to do. but im working on it.

see, what i cant seem to get across to everyone is when they give me the advice to "let myself gain a few pounds so i can healthily lose the weight, but i can pick myself up later" is that...ive beenunhappy with my body my whole life. literally. theres never been a single moment where i could honestly enjoy what ive had in terms of my appearance. ive give so much, and sacrifised my health, etc...all to have the body i wanted. so to hear the words "take some steps in the opposite direction and in time youll bounce back" is sooo unpromising to me. ive waited 14 years, and each extra second im wating makes me more and more frustrated. i cant do it that way. im tired of being a work in progress.
25 Replies (last)