So I've been trying to up my cals lately to recover from Ed. But now I've hit a road block - for the past 2 weeks, I've been eating 400 cal breakfast....then I eat about 300 cal meal, then 400 snack. So 1100 in a day. I let Ed in...and now I feel that I can't increase anymore. I'm terrified of gaining the weight back quickly - I want to be able to eat more but my metabolism is probably too slow so any more food will cause crazy gains. And I also do 600 jumping jacks each day. I can't stop those because I'm scared that if I do, I'll gain. I'm stuck. I need help, support...I'm so lost. And being in university, I have to study and walk to classes. So I don't know now...I just feel terrible, stupid, I'm scared and feel alone. Please help...I really need u guys.
Reason: WG is not for recovery or ED thread; moved to Health and Support
Might be useful to give a few stats in your profile - like age, gender, current and target weight, etc. However, I'm guessing ... male? ... under 20? ... BMI about 16?
You've got two problems going on: A fear of calorie numbers and an addiction to exercise, all mixed together.
Think of your body now as a game of Jenga - a stack of wooden blocks teetering, ready to fall. The calories are a magic substance that will, once in place, become more wooden blocks and stop the tower wobbling - IF you give them time. So you are currently trying to put tiny blobs of calories into the vast holes in your Jenga tower, then hastily shaking the table to make sure they don't actually get a chance to stick, and making the whole tower more and more likely to fall over totally.
You need to cut back on the exercises because you NEED to gain, not use every darn calorie up hopping about like a demented frog. You have three phases to recovery (sticking with the metaphor): (1) eat enough to plug the holes up (getting back to your pre-ED weight), (2) eat some more to build a repair scaffold around the whole tower to hold it together while the repair happens, and then (3) eventually remove the scaffold.
Time to put that energy you are burning up to good use. While eating, imagine kicking Ed's scrawny butt all round the campus. Every time you get an Ed thought, drown it out by imaging using Ed as a football. No more jumping jacks until you are eating enough to survive, and repair, AND have enough extra calories for exercise - and that is probably in the 3500 region as a MINIMUM. No calories, no jumping jacks. Simple.
That is not to say you can't do SOME exercise once you start eating OVER 2000 or so calories a day, EVERY day - but stick to stretching and toning stuff, no more than one 20 minute session a day, and that does NOT involve anything that needs a solid floor under you because your feet are leaving it. If you decide to go for Step Aerobics, make that 2500 calories at least.
This was a post Hedgren wrote to another member -- you may find it helpful.
Deep in your heart, you know you are in crisis. You HAVE to eat more and you HAVE to stop exercising. You may not be able to avoid the walking to/from classes, but you must stop the additional exercise.
You need to get support on campus -- you should not be trying to do this alone -- the added stress, plus the stress of college life itself could have a devastating effect. But the fact is you MUST get help, you are nowhere near recovery.
You have a BMI of 15 and continue to undereat and exercise. No matter how many calories over your current, you will gain water weight; it is inevitable. Wrap your head around a lifetime of ED or a 6 months to a year of living with some water weight an re-distributed body weight. A lifetime of being cold, having dull, lifeless skin, hair falling out, brittle bones, or months of recovery.
The inbetween time is rough -- but, from what I understand, worth it in the end.
Epic fail on the guess then!
The advice is still valid, though.
For this of you who started out low as me and increased....how was it? Did u gain like crazy? Did u feel better or weaker? did your metabolism ramp up?
The hungry bit means that your metabolism is still urging you to eat - so at least you know it's still alive and kicking Ed in the ****s. Try a milk shake or something if you can't handle the food - sometimes it can seem less threatening
You have three phases to go through
(1) Gain weight to a healthy level - BMI of 21.
(2) Keep eating a "repair" level past that so that your body can finish mending itself. This will take you above BMI 21 but below the top of the "healthy" range.
(3) Once your body is repaired, then you drop back to a BMI of 20, which despite what Ed tells you is slim and healthy.
You NEED to gain weight - or you will NOT recover. You NEED Stage 2 to reset your leptin levels to normal and put your body back into "normal 18yo girl" mods. If you don't do it, you will keep having the same problems until it's too late.
The only place the idea of "too much gain" comes from is Ed. You need to gain weight. And the only thing that shuts Ed up is dropping calories on him! If you are stable on 1800, then taking it to a higher level wil slowly increase your weight. You can't get a massive increase in weight from a small increase in food - at worst your body will hang on to more water as well to make the gain a little higher.