Important Update: Calorie Count will be shutting down on March 15th. Please click here to read the announcement. Data export is available.
Hi i've been recovering from anorexia for almost 2 months now. Went from 30kg to 40kg and have only been talking to professionals and close friends/family about my illness but i'd like to know what it was like for other people because i feel like even though they're there for me they don't really understand and i just want to know what it's like for people going through the same thing.
For me it started off as a few months of once or twice a week starving then other days binging or eating normally, I was 46kg. Then i started compulsive exercise and by October i was starving as much as i could without my parents finding out and walking an hour a day or more if i could and any other excercises i could fit in. By December there were loads of arguments in the house because i'd always tell my mom not to put that many potatoes on the plate or that a certain amount of food was enough, etc. I'd count the calories on everything, even if i wasn't going to eat it. I'd walk around shops just to count calories.
My parents noticed my weight was dropping and i told them i didn't know why and they didn't realize it was anorexia because at the same time i was wearing very heavy clothes which hid how skinny i really was. By the end of February my mom finally forced me onto the weighing scale then sent me to the doctor the next day after seeing that i only weighed 33kg (With my full school uniform at the end of a day of eating). I really did want to get better but didn't want to admit i was anorexic (my best friend knew though and alot of my friends had noticed how weird i'd become).
At the doctor's I was asked alot of questions and weighed and measured. She told me that my BMI was 11 and I needed a blood test. My veins were so thin that i almost passed out when she put the needle in. She gave my dad a letter to give to the psychiatrist.
The next day (Thursday) my parents got a phone call while i was at school saying i had to be admitted to hospital straight away because i was dangerously underweight. At the hospital i got no ''real'' help for three days. I was just put on bedrest and fed like normal patients and all the heart, liver, etc. tests were taken. Luckily everything was fine except my heart rate was low, had a slow pulse and i had no muscle (nothing that couldn't be fixed). Finally on Monday the dietition, psychiatrist and doctor saw me and i was given a special meal plan and put on Calshakes. Gradually i had to eat more.
I was in hospital for a whole month seeing the dietition and psychiatrist every few days and getting blood tests every day and they got special nurses to sit with me 24/7. I would have been sent to a special clinic but was so dangerously underweight they couldn't send me there until i was 40kg. I got out of hospital at 35kg though because the 23/7 nurse company was having a strike and my parents thought i was doing so well i could continue recovery at home instead of going to the clinic for a 12 week program.
I've been home 3 weeks today and I'm happy to be getting better. Seeing the psychiatrist every Friday and she calls every few days to see how things are. I have to keep a food journal and a normal diary which she reads. I'm sick of the Calshakes and bloating and eating every two hours now and miss having a normal life. I haven't been to school and won't be back until September. Even though i'm complaining and sick of everything i'm happy enough because things could be much worse.
What was your recovery like? What did you have to eat throughout the day? Are/did you find it easier or harder as it went along?
Reason: moved to health and support
Hi there! I'm sorry that you have and still are going through a tough time :( I know how hard it is and i'm still recovering myself however i am a lot more optimistic about it all now and don't want to go back to my old ways. I'm glad that you are doing better now! Keep it up it's worth it trust me!
I was sent to a private teenagers treatment hospital for recovery and was there for 7 months. I got out about 1.5 months ago. It was tough and I cried a lot and I was almost put on the tube a LOT of times :( Not good. i was also pacing for hours up and down the corridors like a woman posessed (which I guess I was in some ways) and exercising in the bathrooms as soon as I was of 1:1 supervision. i was put on bedrest for 2 weeks because I was so weak. However I had a turn around point after my birthday when they let me go to my party and all of my friends were there for me. It reminded me of what I was missing and I was determined to get out of there asap and even asked them to increase my meal plan. I was on 3200 calories at one point!
I eventually got out of there and it was one of the happiest days of my life! But soon enough i was back to old ways and was even dreaming of being back in hospital again. i didn't want that again. So I decided to do something about it. I started a blog!
It sounds strange but this has motivated me sooo much and now i'm actually WANTING to gain even more weight even though I'm at an ok-ish BMI at the moment. Read the first post called 'The beginning' to understand what it's all about. Overall It's me now aspiring to become a plus-size model in order to promote a healthy body image to girls so that they don't go through what i did/am and what you are going through.
I'm still fighting every day and some days are harder than others but I now can see the bigger picture and know there is more to life than the voice in my head that just lies to me and causes misery to myself and those around me. Stay strong i know you'll make it :)
(feel free to get an account and follow me on the blog, I hope that it may help you in your own recovery :) I don't post anything triggering!)
hi :) good luck with your recovery! just keep pushing through- i promise you can do it! :)
during the fall of 2008. i started losing weight. i didn't need to, but i felt like i did. i weighed 135 at a height of like 5'7 (and a half). in two months, i lost twenty pounds & weighed 115. a month later i was 104 lbs. i was always cold. all i would wear was a hoodie that hung over my boney body & my skinny jeans, that used to be figure-flattering, but now sagged everywhere. i stopped talking to everyone at school. finally in january 2009, my parents took me to my doctor and got me help.the dr couldnt even get the needle for bloodwork in my veins because i was soo dehydrated. if i didn't gain atleast four lbs by the following wknd, my doctor said i'd be in the hospital. so, as you can imagine, i ate...a ton. well, i think a lot of it was definetly water weight at first but ya know. lol :) over the next few months, i ate a ton, whenever and whatever i wanted. my absolute favorite was peanut butter, banana, and brown sugar sandwiches washed down with very vanilla soy milk :) i alsso loved being able to eat all my favorite icecreams right from the carton aha :)) in april, i was FINALLY allowed to began continuing my passion of distance running :) in june when i got weighed, i was FINALLY at 121. my doctor told me i was healthy but should gain a few more to get my period back. by the end of the summer, i was maintaining at 127 & had gotten my period back. :) now, i am 16 years old, 5'8, maintaining between 128 & 130. i have a lot of muscle from running, and i ran my first half marathon in september 2010. i have my second one next month. :) i eat what i want when i want now & absolutely love my body! :)
and again, good luck! feel free to message me :)
Congratulations on recovery and thanks for replying. :)
Good luck in your next marathon :)
Since recovery started I see myself in a much different way and once i gain another 10kg i'll love my body and won't ever want to lose weight again because it's way too stressful on myself, family and friends and not worth it. :)