Why do people look at me like I'm lying when I tell them how I lost weight
I've lost 42 lbs since Jan 07. I currently weight 142 and I'm 5'5" 1/2. I'm at a healthy weight and I'd like to get down to 135, but if I don't, I'm fine with the size I am now.
Everytime somebody asks me how I've lost weight, I tell them counting calories and working out, but especially counting calories. They always look at me like I've got some secret pill that I'm not telling them about and I'm just lying about counting calories. I mean sometimes I get actual hostility. A co-worker asked me the other day how much weight I'd lost; I told her, and she looked at me like I was an ugly bug or something and said, well, you look like you've lost a lot more than that.
I just don't get it. I realize this is probably jealous cattiness, but I find it quite annoying. Another lady, just yesterday said, there's miss skinny.....I hate you. Talk about an off handed compliment.
Anybody else get this reaction?
Sep 18 2007 22:07 by united2gether
Reason: released as a featured *sticky* thread
someone said that people who are not 'there' yet dont want to know that there is no secret. i completely agree with that cos i was once in that position. dont get me wrong i've never been mean to anybody about weight loss but i remember when i first started dieting i was about 14. I did weight watchers on and off for about 6 years. Not suprisingly i'd lose about half a stone and then put it all on again. A viscious cycle. My brother kept telling me that 'diets dont work'. He told me to eat less, control portions and EXERCISE. He had lost a huge amount of weight doing exactly that. Oh but i didnt listen to him did i! Even though i could see that he had lost the weight. Why would a teenager listen to her older brother? Lol. Atlast when i hit 20 it hit me that diets dont work. It took me 6 years to figure that out. And now ive just turned 21 and calorie counting/exercising has been working great for me. I feel healthy, happy and most importantly i'm not obssessed with thoughts of food like i was before, because calorie counting allows me to eat what i want, when i want, as long as i count it in.
I realize i've gone off the tangent but just though i'd share that!
I found this thread interesting because I've been experiencing the same reaction from people around me. I'm 5'1, and I've lost about 44 pounds since march. I'm 116 right now, which is reasonable for my very small frame, but everytime I'm in public or just around my mother in general, she makes some comment about me being too skinny, or never eating. Some friends will comment on my plans to go to the gym by saying stop it, you're skinny enough. It's usually the choice of words and the tone that let's me know these comments are meant to hurt not complement. I just try to remember that I lost weight for myself, not for my mother or for acceptance from people around me. And my ultimate goal was to live a healthier life - if that means people are uncomfortable that I skip dessert when we eat out or decline the invitation to a steak restaurant, then too bad.
Not too long ago when I had reached my 50 lbs lost goal I had someone at work ask me (in a rather round about way) if I had cancer or some other "wasting" disease. Of course it bothered me all day .. did I really look like I was sick? But after going home and asking my wife and others I came to realize that they had just not "seen" me in about 4 months (they may have passed me in the hall but not really looked at me) and to them it was as if I suddenly lost 30 of those 50 lbs overnight
yeah it happens to me all the time.. it used to annoy me, now I have a little fun with and tell them that Im on this great crack or meth diet.. hahahha
What i dont understand is alot of overweight people say i look good and in better shape but when i tell them how much i weight and lost the start telling me that im to small and should gain a few poinds. (im 6' 193lbs) (whats wrong whit that) But people who are fit find that im in good shape, look good and are happy for me.
Connie, first congratulations on your weight loss! Then to the question, I have lost 30 to 40 pounds a couple times in my life and later after a couple years gained it back due to getting off my exercise and food selection. When my weight loss was successful I have had similar comments but the most important thing to remember is that you are losing weight for yourself, not others so don't give such nasty comments a second thought. Maybe they are just having a bad day and are frustrated that someone else is reaching their goals.
I'm so glad it's not just me! When I tell people I've lost 5 stone (70lbs) they all ask how I did it and seem shocked when I say it was just through healthy eating and exercise. Everyone always says "But didn't you go to weight watchers?" They really don't seem to accept that you can do it by yourself with a whole lot of determination and will power. I honestly think it's because they don't want to face the fact that that is what it will take for them to conquer thier own weight issues.
Also, people do treat you so differently when you start to get thinner. I've always been the fat one and the one everyone said "well at least I'm not as bad as her" about. So while it is brilliant to be thinner, although I do still have at least 30lbs to go, sometimes it's horrible feeing like people don't like you for it...
It's downt to the fact that they have probably tried th exercise and counting calories thing and it didnt work. Some people find it hard to believe that 1 thing will work for 1 person but not for others. Also some people are not as commited as others, so i dont think this would have worked for the less commited.
I managed to lose a lot of weight a few years ago but i still to this day do not know how i lost the weight, i wasnt trying to lose weight and i certinaly wasnt doing any kind of firness to lose weight. I can only put it down to getting out of a bad relationship and finally going into a good relationship with a man that made me feel better about myself.
Well done to you though. You dont need to explain to anyone how you lost your weight, the fact is that you did it and im quite sure you feel fantastic about it.
I find that my friends and family are super supportive, but my co-workers are just HORRIBLE. What is it about the work environment that just seems to feed cattiness? I've lost about 18 lbs, and on my 5'3'' frame, that's a lot. Female co-workers have done everything they possibly can think of to make me feel crappy or undermine me. One woman constantly bakes me cookies because I'm starting to look "gaunt" (her words, not mine). I'm called out at company events because they know I won't eat the mayo-drenched sandwiches or fat-soaked pasta dishes that are provided. And my personal favorite, just last week someone anonymously left a pamphlet entitled "Recognizing Eating Disorders" in my mailbox. WTF? Jealousy or not, it's not cool. Usually I just let things roll off my back, but sometimes it really does make me mad.
These people do not have a clue of what 42 lbs look like, and also maybe you toned up, which tones! Who cares about them, you have done superb, and it is your friends and family that will know the real truth! Just tell your co-worker to judge you all she wants but keep the verdict to herself!!! Hahahaha!
I have lost 65 pounds now. I began at 253 on my 5'10" frame. I have about 18 pounds left to hit my goal of 170 (or less depending on how much tummy is left by then :P).
I started getting comments and questions at about the 40lb mark. Women notice more than men. "Diet and exercise" stops most questions cold. (as I'm a bit of an introvert, this is to my liking:D) I have had a few "mothers" tell me to not go for my goal of 170, too skinny. I just smile. I know what I need to do, no worries. If I want to make people more comfortable (or bat-poo insane), I save up my calories so I can splurge in front of them, as I've long suspected skinny people of doing to me ;).
It is definitely a jealous reaction that you're getting from people. The other night some friends and I had a get together with lots of healthy snacks and a few unhealthy. My friend and I that are dieting and exercising went crazy over the spinach dip and the girl who made the dip told us that she would be happy to bring over fattening food for us skinny b*tches anytime. She played it off like she was joking, but I knew she was serious too. We've even invited her to the gym with us and she just makes up excuse after excuse. I don't see why she can't workout at home then. I just hate it when people complain about wanting to lose weight and come up with excuses. They need to just get up off their a**es and do something about it, or just stop complaining!
You know, I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that people who make these kinds of comments simply do not want to face the fact that you must take responsibility for the state of your waistline and your health. It is much easier for them to blame their lack of weight loss or success with dieting on the diet than it is for them to accept the responsibility for what goes into their mouths and how much they exercise. Hang in there, fellow calorie counters, and be proud of the fact that you are taking responsibility for your health each time you choose a healthy food or you choose to exercise instead of sitting in front of the TV. You have learned the hard way that there is no magic pill or bullet -- it's a matter of personal responsibility and hard work. Congratulations to all!
Wow kudos to all of you for your weight loss and your commitment to loosing weight the healthy and simple calorie counting way. I have not faced any kind of mean comments so far not even at work which is full of tiny women babbling on about weight loss way too much. I just make sure they don't know about my life changes.
As was mentioned many times I think you need to reach that 100% commitment state of mind/body where you are really ready to be serious about weight loss.
Let all those people be green with envy and whatever else they may feel and never forget that you're the one doing the right thing!
I am 215 and 5'4 I gaines a lot of weight in the last few months. I have never counted calories but I am willing to give it a try. My goal weight is 127--So far today I ate 770 calories. 2 apples and two cans of nealthy choice chicken noodle soup. I am trying to stay under 1,000 calories. I will probably have another can of soup before going to bed tonight--the soup is high in sodium--I may try to find a replacement.
lisa plese get rid of the canned soup as fast as you can and replace it with real foods, like a salad with grilled chicken breast.
Also as you go through the forums you will find also that 1000 cals is not enough, regardless of the size you are.
The minimum for a female is 1200 cals / day and 1500 cals / day for a male.
Believe it or not but it's worth doing it the healthy way.
"tell me, how much did you loose???" - "about 35 lbs.." - "really? only? you look like you lost 60 lbs at least!" - "well thanks ;)" - "erm... no problem..."
That dialogue happened yesterday, oh well, instead of letting them drag you down, you thank them for their compliment that you actually look better than you really should, nice isn't it? at least the past isn't important anymore? How could one be hurt by the past? I am happy that it is past me. Oh and well, brighter future always awaits...
So if you get a "rude" comment in the future think of it before being angry or upset about it!
If someone tells you, you look like you've lost much more weight, then just say: "well, thank you!". If the comment was meant to be rude, then the person will be quite angry about your response even though not showing it, cause it was meant to hurt you. If it was just because the person didn't think about how you might feel about such a comment, then even better.
Your not used to getting attention are you? Try smiling back and saying "thank you". It is a complement not a put down.
Write the remarks in your Journal as positive feedback. After awhile you will look back at all the remarks friends told you and laugh.
One day at a time. Remember, your looks have changed to other people. Your prettier and more popular to them. You have accomplished something they can't hardly attain. Anything they can say or do to you, makes them feel special also. You have done something they find almost impossible to do, which makes you rare, such as a movie star.
Bask in the attention and don't take it personal.
It's not that I'm not used to "getting attention". I get plenty of attention from men and their comments are never negative. I always do smile politely and say thank-you. I'm not going to let these women know that they're little snide comments bother me.
It's just that recently I'm really get tired of it, I mean get over it. I've never given this catty jealous reaction to people that's lost weight, I've always been happy for them and saw them as an inspiration, not somebody to be envious of.
I mean why is it okay to say there goes "Miss Skinny".....I hate you. It wouldn't be okay for me to say there goes "Miss Fatty"......I hate you.
A lot of people are very self-centered and think everything revolves around them, like my weight loss is a slap in their face that they haven't lost weight. Since when did it become about them. Why can't people say, way to go, and let that be the end of it or not say anything at all.
Sorry, I guess I'm venting.......:(