This may be a tad long but I want to throw in as many details at the start so I don't have to add them on, but if you've ever struggled with weight loss and been plagued by it PLEASE take the time to read the whole think and help me out. I don't know what else to do.
Go back in time to me at 16: I worked out 24/7 and was very anorexic on top of it. I was in dance, colorguard, I ran, and LOVED gym and weight training. I ate as little as I could without starving myself and somehow was never bothered by a hungry stomach. I'm 5'0" and at the time weighed 120 lbs. Now for a normal build of person that seems like a good weight but for me it was HORRIBLY unhealthy. I'm very curvy by nature so having a large chest and butt has always been there. Even then I was a size 36 C and wore size 5 pants on my 28" stomach. My hips are just naturally wide so I never wore smaller sizes than that which partially contributed to the thought that I was "overweight" even though you could see my ribs and other bones.
Then it happened. My doctor's told me I had to stop all sports and physical activity. I have many health issues but the one concerning them the most was a head injury from when I was 14. I had head trauma that caused some permanent nerve damage and would frequently pass out, be nauseous, dizzy, and suffer from excruciating migrainesjust about every single day. I thought that would never change. Then the doctors called me in to inform me that they came to the conclusion that my migraines aren't just emotionally stress related but that they were also physically stress related and the working out was causing most of my pain, even though it was in my head. I dropped out of everything. All at once because I had to. And amazingly the migraines, dizziness, and nausea all went away.
But shortly after I had another change in my life. I started birth control for the first time. I gained SO much weight. On top of that I had to start eating normal again. I'm anemic and vitamin B deficient. With the B, I have to eat lots of foods that I didn't normally eat and if I'm not taking my vitamins (I have to take a high dose artificial kind but it's VERY expensive and I just can't afford it) I have to find ways to get more into my system. I found out that ON TOP OF EVERYTHING my deficiency causes the crappiest life ever. I'm constantly exhausted, it's hard to fill my lungs if I try to work out or even do yoga, parts of my body will go numb, and more. It's horrible but there's nothing I can do about it because I can't afford the medicine anymore.
Add all of these factors together and now, almost 4 years later, I went from 120 to 175! And I can't shed a single pound no matter what I do. I just want to cry all of the time because of how I appear. I'm getting married on July 7th and I've been trying EVERYTHING to lose just a little so I can just feel better in all the the pictures that will be taken. I don't look terrible but I feel terrible. I am now a 36D and wearing sizes 11-14. My measurements went from 37-28-37 to 41-38-45. No matter what I do I just can't cope or lose anything. I even tried that HCG with the 500 calorie diet and my doctor made me stop after only 2 weeks because I needed to eat the foods I need with the B and lots of it. My clothes don't fit well and I don't have the money for more. I can't work out without feeling faint with a headache after 15 minutes. I tried yoga, zumba, weight lifting, walking, ect. Nothing helps. I eat very healthy but normal portion meals. I incorporate more water, less soda into my diet. I eat fruit, veggies, meat, dairy, hardly any sweets.... I don't know what else to do! I have to come to terms with the fact that I just can't exercise too much but I've tried tons of diets and nothing works.
I'm only 19, 20 in a few weeks! I shouldn't be this miserable about my weight! I should be happy about my wedding and having a stable job that I enjoy but I can't be because I constantly think about how others see me and what else I should try. My fiance loves me as I am and I love my curves but I HATE my fat arms where my toned biceps used to be, my lumpy stomach that used to be so flat, and my thighs that refuse to let me wear any type of shorts. I want to be happy, healthy, but thinner too.
I don't even care so much about the number on the scale, I know my muscle weighs more than fat and I still have fantastic calves and butt muscles from so many years of dance but I just want to FEEL like I look okay. I looked my best at 130-140. I wore a size 7 and looked healthy, not sickly. So I want to try and lose 30 lbs and no not by the wedding, just in general. I just need ideas! ANYTHING! Something I haven't done or some motivational stories? I'm just so....... distraught. I want to have a life again that isn't obsessed with my size. Thanks for reading if you made it this far and seriously, offer anything! Advise, tips, encouragement, anything.
Hey there. I definitely have empathy for your situation - at age 16, I was a three sport varsity athlete who lifted weights 3 times a week. I wasn't skinny - I was thin, athletic and strong. Then I got three concussions in a year, tore my ACL and MCL, and was told that I had to stop all my sports. I was devastated.
Now I'm 23 and 70 pounds heavier than when I was 16. I gained almost exaclty ten pounds a year and lost all the muscle tone I was so proud of. I'm also getting married soon - in September - and I'm trying to lose weight not just for the wedding but for life in general, just like you say.
So this is what I try to remember: my body remembers what it was like to be fast, strong, and powerful. I know that being overweight is not how my body wants to operate. I trust that my muscles will work with me to get back to where I was, because I loved the feeling of using my body like a beautiful machine.
But while I'm remembering that feeling, I have to always remember that I am still a good person. I didn't "let myself go," I let my body go. I'm still in here, I'm just a whole lot softer than I used to be. I know it's a cliche, but for me the whole concept of loving myself is so important.
I wish you all the best. Try not to think of your athletic body as something you lost, but something you can regain in a healthy way. I got migraines from my concussions for a long time, but drinking plenty of water and keeping to a somewhat regular sleep schedule helped. I also started journaling every day so that I could try to pinpoint situations/foods/etc. that triggered them
Thank you so much. Just knowing that someone else has gone through almost the same thing makes it a little better and it helps that my fiance loves me so much. It's just so frustrating!
I know how you feel. I also went from a crazy active machine to a doctors nightmare. The way I stay thin is by keeping a food journal of everything i have to eat. I do as much walking as my body will let me, and I make sure I drink at lease half my body weight in water a day. Its so hard because I lost a ton of weight before the pregnancy and now Im 18 weeks and on bed rest. Keep your head high and look into the Paleo Diet. It an extremely healthy way to live and I have a friend who wrote a book about the modern day paleo. Its very simple and you get more nutrition from the foods you eat and feel a ton better. also look into my website. the company I work for is amazing for issues like this. Good luck and im with you.
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