what do you think about indian girls? Any opinions? Please share any experiences
From what I have heard from guys who have dated Indian women, more often than not the problems with culture differences does not come from the them, but more the parents!
We have a thriving Indian community in the UK and although they are beginning to become a little more relaxed about sticking with tradition it is still prevalent.
If the parents are traditionalist then usually there is stress created which does filter into the relationship and cause problems. I would say that for the best part the biggest majority of parents still frown upon dating out with their community, and still want their daughters to marry into it. They do seem to be more accepting of their sons dating out with, but still like them to marry within.
Some will say well what the hell has it got to do with the parents? In the UK it still has everything to do with them (for the best part), because Indian families here are very tight knit. They set very high standards for their children, and this includes partners too, sadly not very many white males match those standards, in their eyes.
This is in no way wrong, it's just the difference between the cultures.
Having said all that, there are still those who have dated and married very successfully out with the Indian community.
edit: just to be clear what I say is only what I have heard from people and numerous TV programmes on the subject.
I think this is true in the States as well. My Indian girl friends "got in trouble" with their parents for dating outside their race in high school. And with my closest friend, even though she was never attracted to Indian guys, she is dating one now.
I also think that what you said about the parents holds true with a lot of different cultures. I know here in Korea, while it's becoming more "normal" and accepted to date/marry outside of the Korean race, it's only a small portion of the country that thinks it's okay. The problems are not with the people my age but with their parents. I have a few friends who've been dating Koreans pretty seriously and it's headed toward marriage but the Korean parents don't want them to marry. I've dated a few Korean guys but nothing serious so I haven't experienced these problems first-hand.
Original Post by cookiemonster24:
Georgian, don't try to act smart ok! cuz u r not!
just illustrating what was wrong with your initial post. it's dishonest to ask a sensitive question without revealing your positioning and motives. you didn't seem to understand what was wrong with this, so i tried to explain. believe me, i feel no need to act smart for your benefit.
Cookie, from my perspective. I thought based on your initial post that you were a male looking to get a quick score with an Indian girl or had been snubbed by one. That's why I took at look at your profile, but that didn't help either. I'm guilty of not being the most revealing in some of my postings too---I know what I'm talking about why can't everyone else figure it out?? Anyway give Georgian a break, if you look, she was trying to help. BTW Bend It Like Beckham is still a good movie to answer your question because it deals with the cross cultural environment and some of the misperceptions that come up. And as some of the others said, parental expectations come in on both sides. Look there is prejudice out there, in the US, in the UK, basically everywhere. Some of it is even unintentional.
To turn the question around-- What do you think about American girls?? and What do the guys in your cultural group think about American girls?? Would they rather date an American?? Would they rather marry an American??
Another question: What are your thoughts on arranged marriages?
Thank you all for your decent responses!
That is a very good question you asked me. And i am not a guy by the way lol. Anyways, It is true that majority of indian families will not want their children to marry outside their race even today living in US. But i have to say that my family is a bit lenient on that end. One of my cousin is married to an American girl and have kids together. My sister is also married to an American and happy.
I asked those questions regarding indian women because i recently faced some prejudice from some American people which i did not expect because my own sister and cousin are married to Americans and i thought well they all think good about us lol. I faced some comments like; indian women are all virgins and don't know anything to do in bed(you know what i mean)? Although it's true that majority of indian women are virgins till they get married(including me lol) but that does not mean that we are not playful or can't be sexy? This is why i was trying to ask other people how they felt when they dated indian women.
Hope you understand now what i am trying to say
lol....I wouldn't take that too personal, as you say part of it is true, so I would just shrug it off.
I'm sure you've heard some of the not so flattering things that are said about British women......my answer is well you don't know us all
There are biggots & rude jerks in every group. My opinion is you have to be you, while it's true you want to be liked, it's just not going to happen with everyone. Haven't you grouped people and assumed things about them? Anyway when I was the first American married into the community that was my husbands friends, there was a lot of concern about why he didn't marry one of his own kind. I was myself, but also respectful of their customs. In the end they were very accepting of me and others in the group have married Americans.
If you're thinking about dating American guys, be picky like the American girls are who share your values. And I'm not talking looks--- I'm talking respect. There are great guys and dirt bags. So take your pick.
My guy friends think Indian girls are incredibly sexy... where did you hear that rubbish?
Culture can sometimes be a concern (for example, a burka seems like something that would be a problem for a lot of guys...thats indian right? *or something like that*).
But...generally speaking... lots of guys have a "type" they are more interested in (but usually its not an exclusive issue). I think in the end it just comes down to the individual and their personality?
here I think you'll find lorik is right ali
loriklorik and ali, burka is an indian thing you can say. But not all indian women wear it. just muslim women wear it. not all muslim women wear burka. It really depends on how religious the family is.
ali, actually i was having a chit chat with one of my co worker and we were kind of discussing different cultures and backgrounds. And when i told him about being virgin then he said those things which i posted earlier you know?
cookiemonster- I definitely don't think being a virgin makes someone not sexy. That guy sounds like a douche.
Lots of people are douches.
I have an East Asian friend (female) who dated a white guy who said he thought her other Asian friends and family members would consider her "lucky" to be dating a white guy. (Nope.) I have an East Indian friend (also female) who was hit on by a guy who thought she'd be extra-good in bed "because Indians do yoga and are all flexible and stuff."
vegetariangeek, why he thought her family members will think that she is lucky to date a white guy? I didn't get that....
Oh I love 'em... par-boiled! ;-)
I think he intrinsically felt his race was so superior, anyone would be lucky to be dating him.
As far as looks go, I've noticed a strong dichotomy among Indian girls. They are either drop-dead gorgeous or fun-killing ugly.
As far as overall personality assessments go, I don't judge entire races as a whole. So I depends on the girl.
I am assuming we are talking about Indians from India, not the ones we mistreated when we came to North America hundreds of years ago.
Original Post by drea99:
never been in a relationship with an indian girl. have been hit on by indian guys, and i have to say, for the average american, the idea of personal space is way different. even friends that i have that are indian born but american raised have issues with too close personal space.
this is so true! at least from the one indian friend i have. she is ALWAYS harping about how guys are always too familiar with her too fast, and get way too close, and she's literally scared to go on dates alone w/ guys b/c she says they move so fast. i've noticed this, as she's made me an involuntary third wheel a couple times(long story).
her problem is that when the guy moves in, she doesn't give any signal that she doesn't like it, nor does she say anything to get him to back off, even though she really hates it.
she tells me it's b/c she wants people to like her, and she doesn't wanna come off looking bad. but she looks stupid b/c she lets guys touch her in ways she doesn't like, giving them the impression that she's willing to do more than she really is, leaving the guys pissed off when they find out that she's "not that kind of girl."
i also don't get why she dates most of the guys she dates, b/c she's in the middle of a marriage search. her family does the arranged-marriage thing, which she's all for (and i'm not judging it), and she could be set up w/ a potential fiance any minute. meanwhile she's dating guys she'd never in a million years marry (black guys, white guys, non-indian guys, non-india-born-guys). i guess she's trying to sow her oats while she can. even though her oats kinda suck.
Original Post by vegetariangeek:
I think he intrinsically felt his race was so superior, anyone would be lucky to be dating him.
haha! Now thats what every racist think that his or her race whether it is black, white, brown, or whatever is superior than others. If he was that much of a superior race then why did he even date out of his race? lol just curious