So, I'm looking for a little motivation/encouragement. I've recently reached my goal weight of ~120lbs (I'm 5'3" and I maxed out at about 210lbs) and I just bought my first bikini, with the intention of wearing it in two weeks for spring break when my boyfriend and I go to San Diego for our one year anniversary (which is actually tomorrow )
Now here's the problem: I've always been over weight, I was 160 at 16, 180 at 18.... and you guessed it, 200 at 20! And since losing it, I feel like my mind hasn't really caught up yet. I look down and I still see the flab and the stretch marks (which my awesome boyfriend says are not near as bad as I make it out to be), but I think... well, I've certainly seen people more out of shape than me wearing bikinis to the beach and being totally comfortable with it. I want to be that way! I just want to wear my super cute bikini to the beach and not feel totally uncomfortable the whole time.
So my question is: Any advice on how to feel comfortable in a bikini? I know a lot of it has to do with self esteem and positive body image... but maybe there's another trick out there to throw in the pot.
well, i'm not sure how to overcome the "ugly duck syndrome" (you know what i mean? you went so long thinking you were over weight, now that you're NOT over weight, you still have the insecurity that came with being over weight) i have the same problem myself ... but when i was at my lowest weight, i wore a bikini .. and the first time i was SOOO nervous ... i had to make myself get use to it. so instead of waiting for the 2 weeks to come when you go on your trip, how about you start wearing it now? just around the house .. or maybe lay out in your backyard .. get use to wearing it. that way, when you leave for spring break, it won't be the first time you put it on .. maybe it'll be more comfortable for you? (=
I'm sure you have heard this 1,000 times before but confidence has to come from within yourself.Having said that, you have lost a lot of weight and reached your goal,that's cause to celebrate! Wear that bikini proudly. You have earned it. Also you can always have a little coverup handy to throw on when you feel the need. But it sounds like you won't! Good luck and have a fun !!
Have a few drinks
Seriously, aside from when I was 3 and apparently wore my bikini proudly the only other time I wore one without worrying was after a few frozen cocktails in Florida... I started out with a wrap but after a couple I no longer cared...
I think a practise vacation in Europe would be good for many of us... I can recall seeing all kinds of shapes and sizes there and many topless and it was cool because noone was even remotely self conscious... (except me in 4 layers of clothing...)
Way to go on losing all that weight!
At the beach, anything goes - at your weight you may actually be one of the slimmer ones in a bikini. We used to practically live at the beach all summer in Corona del Mar, and believe me, there were always lots of ladies who really shouldn't have been wearing bikinis wearing them. No one will look twice at you (except in a good way I hope! ).
HAVE FUN - wish I could go (grumbles about living in dumb-as* Louisiana now instead of my beloved SoCal).
I know exactly what you're saying... I just lost 100 lbs, and in Jan I went to Puerto Rico with my best friend. While it wasn't a bikini, it was the first time I'd worn a bathing suit sans t-shirt since I was maybe 7 or 8. It was scary as hell. I'd tried walking around my apartment in my bathing suit for a few weeks before it, and it worked a bit, but as we got closer and closer to the beach, my pulse quickened, my breathing deepened.
Ultimately, the thing that got me to take off the shirt was, apart from thinking how stupid I'd look tanning in a t-shirt, was the thought that I didn't want to waste my vacation. I told myself I wasn't going to go all the way to PR sit on the sidelines. I didn't want to have to remember forever the time I was on a beautiful Puerto Rican beach and was too afraid to enjoy it.
Good luck, and have a fabulous time at the beach, you've earned it.
I don't really have any advice, but I just wanted to let you know that even women who have been thin their entire lives have a problem wearing (and feeling comfortable) in a bikini. I seriously dread the first time I have to wear one every year!
After you have it on for 15 minutes, you'll feel more comfortable. For me, it's the initial taking off of my sundress (or whatever) that's the hardest part...and I probably look pretty good to most people. So, you're not alone. Just try to fake the confidence until you're able to acquire the real thing :).
Have a great trip...I'm sure you'll be looking beautiful!
That song "Itsby bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini" comes to mind right now. "and under the blanket she stayed" lol...
I think wear it in front of some friends first. Like get a few good girlfriends together and say you want to have a girls' day to tan before you go off on your spring break. I'm sure they'll all give you a load of compliments on your recent weight loss, which should make you feel positively wonderful!
And, as you said, there are less attractive people than you running around in bikinis. And I doubt anyone is going to look at you and think "oh god what the h-e-double-hockey-sticks is she thinking?!?!." Most will either not register you at all, or even think "hey she's pretty cute". Be proud of yourself and have fun!
Go to Burning Man or a "regional" Burning Man event. That'll cure you.
I've still got to get rid of some gut before I can wear a bikini...
just read briefly, so sorry if i mess up on details. nice your boyfriend is supportive, try not to pester him too many times by asking for reassurance with how you look. try to get in one hour of activity EVERY single day. if not gym time, think of it as fun time, go to a park, and run around or something with a ball or dog or friend.
as for bikinis, what about fashion based motivation. maybe you will be more comfortable if you expose the stuff you like, and cover the stuff you are still working on.
For example, if you have big belly, then don't get low cut bikini, get higher waisted one. If you have good breasts, show them off with a nice supportive pretty top. Don't get something skimply, get a bikini from women's section that is supportive, with straps that are reinforced, underwire, whatever. Don't skimp and get cheap $20 bikini with thin fabric and no support. Spend $80, spend a while shopping, and see what looks good. DO NOT BRING your boyfriend bikini shopping. expect to try on a lot, and then buy one that you really like.
put that bikini on while you are at home alone, throw on your fave album and dance with yourself, get real sexy and have a lot of fun. It will make you laugh a little and enjoy how great you look and how hot you are. I do it too, it's so FUUUUNN!!
WEAR IT!!! Be proud of yourself and most importantly be proud of your accomplishments.   ; I don't mind seeing anyone of any size wear a bikini. No matter what size I think - good for them - they like their body and don't care what other people think. Because it's not about other people, it's about you.
And I agree with greenearthgirl - put it on at home, wear it around and get comfortable wearing it. That's what I do.
Thanks for all of the great advice ladies! I am really revved about this trip and I'm just hoping I can muster the confidence to wear what I like and be comfortable! I'm feeling better about it already. I wish I could have a drink or two before wearing it, then I know I wouldn't give 2 cents about what other people think I look like, but I can't stand the stuff now after a few too many around my birthday last year (really amusing story actually...). I'm gonna try wearing around my room and see if that helps me feel any more comfortable. Wearing out of my room and around the dorm would be pretty weird, unfortunately, and I don't need any more of that particular label, lol.
I didn't mention it in my first post, but I'm a super busy college senior and writing an intense history BA so going to the gym every day isn't really possible for me. I barely have any free time at all, between school work and work work.
If you've got the extra cash, go to a spa and splurge one of those spray-on tanning sessions - you know, like the self tan from a bottle, only they do it way better - and if you have the courage, do it naked - it looks great. If you don't have the $, and I usually don't, go ahead and buy a good bottle of self tanner, and do it yourself. It makes you feel like running around in a bikini is something you do everyday!