Hello, I am in recovery from anorexia, and I do not know exactly what my weight is, but the last time I checked it was about 110. I was told by the doctor today that I do not need to gain anymore weight. I am very scared what my weight is; I am going to weigh myself tomorrow because I can't stand guessing like this. At my last appointment my doctor said I was very thin and she said that I looked exactly the same, not at all like I had gained weight. I do not know if I gained weight from 110. Now that I really think about it I think that I am most likely around 115-120. I am 5'4"-5'5".
I was eating around 2500-2600 to gain last week, and I was wondering how much I need to maintain. I walk about an hour 5 days a week and do 60 minutes of strength training 5 days a week. I am about 20.
Ayiyi I am very concerned, anyone help?
I just wanted to offer some support. It's so wonderful that you're taking care of yourself and succeeding in recoverey! From your entry it sounds like you're worried about the weight you've gained or of weighing yourself. I hope I am reading that right. In my experience weighing myself is like an icy step. I generally slip and it becomes compulsive. I don't know if you have that problem too but, if you do, I would encourage you to relax, take a deep breath and put off weighing yourself. If you really are feeling the compulsion to, tell yourself you'll do it later, tomorrow. (Tomorrow, you can tell yourself the same thing) eventually the compulsion will go away.
Also, eating disorders are ridiculously hard to quit. The fact that you've made it this far is amazing. You should be proud of yourself, of the good things you are giving yourself. In terms of worrying about gaining weight. That's such a hard one. When your wired to think weight = bad, it's hard to get all that wiring out and make it equal something else. Maybe making a list of all the things you gain from leaving the disorder behind would help. For me, when I eat I gain energy, my face gets color in it, things like that.
There's this really wonderful book I read the year I quit bulimia. It's called Gaining here's a link (http://www.amazon.com/Gaining-Truth-About-Eat ing-Disorders/dp/0446577669) I found it really helpful in sorting out my **** and finding hope in what comes after an ED. Gaining can be a really beautiful thing, especially for us folks who started out young (I stopped at 17) we get to gain a healthy life.