Aunty Flow. She's back. Oh my.
I had a day of menstruation on the first of January. And yesterday it returned! It's pretty heavy too (hope it's not TMI). I think I owe it to all the nuts I've been bingeing on. I've been eating 2500 calories every day this whole month (some days up to 3000). I'm at a BMI of 23. I gained weight really quickly. I've not been having good days. The temptation to restrict has been constant. But I've learned to fight it. I've not restricted AT ALL this whole month.
Should I drop my intake now? I'm not active at all. I'm such a lazy bum.
Congratz to you! You deserve to know that you can produce children and that your health is getting back on track. I do not think you should lower your intake but you are right in the middle of normal range. Keep eating 3000 calories and let your body finish repairing it's self.
All the bestXX
Aw, thank you so much, love. Really--3000? Oh dear. But won't that make me gain more weight? I'm already heavier than I was pre-ED. How will I know when my body's finished repairing itself?
Thanks again. xx
Yes really 3000, I know it is hard. I have recovered to healthy weight (3 times), every time after that I dropped my calories due to stress from uni and relapsed. Even though it was only by 500, it trigger you to want less everyday. I am not sure to the last question as I do not know your body but your body is fully repaired when weight has stopped increasing and normally takes about a year.
I'm so happy for you!
Congrats. You've been having such a hard time lately so it's nice that you finally have something nice happen.
You keep talking negatively throughout your posts about yourself, maybe your period returned because you were eating well not binging on nuts??
I also want to just say(and this was only for me) the month after my period came the first time i stayed very bloated and hormonal for the whole time until me second period came, this isn't with everybody but if it happens don't be triggered
Aw, thank you all. Okay, I will continue eating the amount I was eating. Honestly, yes, seeing myself at this weight makes me sad, but the thought of losing weight and restricting makes me SADDER. So I'd rather be at this weight. I just hate hearing people talk about my weight so much.
Forgive me for being so negative, I've been so depressed and anxious lately - I just wish I wasn't. ):
I'm not criticizing you. if it were me i'd probably be as negative as you. But being made aware of it sometimes helps us change it and sometimes we need to see a different side. The last thing i would do is criticize you, I think you're a very strong person not to have given in to your ED.
wow, first of all, congrats for having your period back! You're so lucky. I'm still waiting to get mine back. I am around bmi 22,5 now, and really hope it will show up soon. I am going through the same things like you with anxiety and weightgain etc, so I clearly know how you feel. You're right that its a struggle seeing ourselves at a higher weight. I have been very depressed and stressed lately due to all the changes happening to me right now. And I'm only a week into refeeding.. :( I have been trying to recover many times, but only made it half-way. I never gave it a real chance, thus my period hasnt returned since 2009.... I'm so afraid of the unknown, and that I will just keep gaining and gaining with not having my period back. Thats the worst fear I have. But I will keep consistant in recovery this time since I got so far now.And like you said, gaining weight etc. is far better than restricting and having destructive ed-thoughts.
You are doing a great job, sweety. Hang in there. <3
knoppie_, oh no, no. I didn't take it as criticism. I was just disappointed at myself for being so. I am incredibly grateful for your words and help - people on CC truly make me feel like I'm worth something. I am not exaggerating when I say: this website saved my life.
sarahdenmark, Thank you, dear! Congratulations for reaching that BMI - hugs for you! Oh yes, the anxiety has been rather difficult. Especially for my parents. I rarely go out with them nowadays. I need to do something about it. My dad actually got mad at me one day and said "You were more confident when you were thinner, just lose some weight and stop hiding in the house and wasting your life." It hurt my feelings. I've been told so many triggering things this month by various people, I've been so, so, SO tempted to relapse. It's difficult, but I am doing well (in regard of my ED). However, depression and anxiety is going nowhere close to getting better. Sigh. You're doing so well too! You need the food - you need to be healthy! Think about your future; you're such a lovely person, take care of your dear soul. <3