I don't post on here very ofter, but I don't really know what to do anymore. I don't think I'm fully recovered from my disordered eating. I weight about 103-106 pounds now and I'm almost 5' 6", which I know puts me at the lowest possible healthy BMI for someone my age (16). I'm scared to eat and not count calories because whenever I do, I binge and eat a ton. When I count my calories, I allow my self to go up to 2000, but I know that I severely overestimate everything I eat- so it usually turns out to be way less. What should I do? How can I allow myself to just eat normally again? Will I ever be able to trust myself to eat intuitively and NOT binge?
Ok, you are not even CLOSE to being fully recovered from your disordered eating! Why would you even think that? Look at your post! Look what you're doing! THAT'S disordered. Binging and restricting is a full-blown eating disorder.
By the way, 103-106lbs for you is NOT in the healthy range. I'm 16 and 5'6" too also recovering from anorexia!!! (same stats!).. and I'm told my LOWEST healthy point will be 110lbs. You are binging becuase your body is STARVING! Even going up to 2000cal a day wouldn't be enough for a teenage girl. You need help with this.
You need to tell your mother that you require professional help with this. You can not do this alone at this point, that is evidently clear to me. You need help.
i want to tell her what's truly going on. she knows i've been under a lot of stress lately at school. both my mom and dad want me to gain weight. i want to tell her but i'm so scared to let my parents and my younger sisters down. i'm scared to let everyone down. my teachers, my friends.
thank you so much though, guys. i know i need help. i'm really going to try to get some soon.
Don't concern yourself with letting anyone down. This is not your fault - you didn't ask for this. It is an illness, but what's more is that it is a treatable illness. You would be doing yourself (and everyone else in your life) a favor by receiving help for it immediately. Not "soon". Time is of the essence. The sooner you can get this under wraps, the better. The more that you prolong it, the harder it will be psychologically, and the more damage you will be engendering physiologically. You will never feel "ready". You just have to do it. Bite the bullet, and see what follows. You need to help yourself by asking for help.