Thought we could all post something... I used to always shout at my mum 'i AM trying! i'm EATING SOMETHING.' But i now realise that wasn't trying, that was just eating enough to lose weight. So i thought it might be nice for us all to post one or two things we did today to challenge ourselves in our road to recovery.
i shall go first :)
today i challenged my ED by increasing my AM snack by 100 calories, having a raw food bar instead of oat cakes and apple.
Reason: Moved from Weight Gain to Health and Support.
today i had a pancake with syrup on with my usual egg white breakfast :) plus some fruits and then... i ate out for the first time in a restaurant and ate without asking for no sauces and dressing, this was a HUGE step for me as ate out last night and ordered a salad no dressing...
i had 4 huge prawns, salad with dressing on and a few nibbles of corn on the cob with butter... first time had butter since ed. cried for an hour afterwards but you know what pat on the back to me and a stomp on ed xx
browny well done!!!! that's so good, that must have taken so much strength to have dressing and butter. the first time i put butter on my toast i cried too but now i have it every day (tear-free). keep it up :)
annabel good job on the frappacino :) i can't remember the last time i had whipped cream, something to work towards. i bet it tasted amazing!
adrienne thanks for the support :) i don't know where you're from, but if you have up+go that's pretty good. it packs HEAPS of calcium too so helps with dairy targets. i like the vanilla ones but there are lots of different flavours.
snuffles hehe i must admit the banana bread was really good - it had walnuts in it too. bananas are pretty expensive in aus at the moment so it's a rare treat.
i'm wanting to challenge something different today but i don't know what i'll do. i think i'm actually a bit under what i should be eating cos even though i'm trying not to count, i did a mental tally for yesterday and it was just under 2500 :( which sucks because i was REALLY full.. and have been running too. which means i should be way higher. arhg i'm just terrified that i'm gaining too fast. EDs SUCK.
thanksgiving dinner: huge seitan cutlet, lots of mushroom gravy, fairly large portion of brown rice with cranberries, and roasted sweet potato/onion/asparagus/broccoli (lots of oil).
and and and pumpkin pie! which i made! and actually used the full amount of sugar that the recipe called for! and it was delicious.
awesome job to everyone :) keep it up! And i was too tired to post last night, BUT, yesterday after my workout, I had a ventei mocha frappucino from starbucks for my snack (it was light, but it's better than last time I went to starbucks, and I flipped out cause they put in too much caramel sauce lol). Then, I went out to dinner with my family for the first time in a while to a Japanese place, and I ate yaki udon; a whole bowl :) I was really scared, but then when I was still hungry when I got home, I had a granola bar and some fruit too. I really stuck it to ED yesterday :)
i am one that has been scared of suagr, so from having a small amount 10 days ago i decided today is the day i NEED to get through. so i ate heck loads of sugar :D and feel amazing, theres so much stuff i love the taste of but havent enjoyed :O! Pain au chocolat, Carrot cake with frosting and walnuts, Blackfriars Cappucino Frosting Flapjack, Fruit & Fibre Chocolate coated bar, Galaxy bar. It might seem VERY unhealthy to a lot of you guys, but for me it's not, its a day i treated myself to sugar. and i ate all this despite my 3.5 hr fi this morning from ED. back on track to gain with nutrition tomorrow though and my weigh in is thursday :S
charlatte workout? are you maintaing? :) wooooow mocha frapucnno- gotta love starbucks eh! :D what on earth is yaku udon lol. ah well done for the double wammy hun you deserve it!
biorobotics happy thanksgiving again haha :P ah you really celebrated right well done :D yay for sugar!
browny89 HEY THERE :D pancake- homemade?! omg well DONE for the restaurent, thats always an epic challenge that i havent had the courage to do myself-maybe this saturday :P butter helps absorb other nutrients in digestion ;) well done for starting :)
snuffles every litte count yu know, so it might seem small but it was BIG to hit ED with it ;) :)
adrienne no problem, keep going you're a star! i always rely on supermarket peanut butter has to be supermarket own brand cus i get through so much of it haha :P
annabel woooo for the starbucks treat, :D whole milk and whipped cream now that IS admirable!
jsw83 yes no more demotivation! :)
alex no problem and aww thank you :)
kitty i will try not counting saturday *deep breath* and track afterwards :O i will reply to your mail soon!
ARE YOU SERIOUS?! THIS MAKES MY DAY!!!!!!
partyring wow well done on treating yourself! maybe try and challenge a little bit each day? i don't know if you're at that stage but i always just try to do one thing extra to kick that ed in the face. pain au chocolat - RESPECT. wow. JEALOUS. well done :)
i'm thinking of challenging myself today with milk chocolate for dessert. worried because according to my ED, it's not got the health benefits of dark chocolate, is full of sugar and fat :( :( but, i haven't eaten it in years... really really scared! but i think i'm going to do it. arghhhh this is the only way to kick it.
i just ate a line of milk chocolate...
i feel SO BAD. OH MY GOD. i haven't felt this bad about a food for so so long. i'm all shaky and just did extremely painful leg lifts to compensate :( :(
i feel so so bad. and ahfhah i used to have issues when i was purging, and (TMI) i had bad reflux and it just happened then :( so i think that was stress-induced. NOT GOING TO PURGE.
i'll be ok. it's not going to hurt me. just stressing right now :(
oh my gosh everyone...TWO tablespoons of peanut butter in my oatmeal this morning AND I used a full 1/2 cup dry serving instead of the measly 1/3 ED makes me use. May seem small but I'm quite proud :)
I ate the peanut butter and honey crumpets I've been wanting to eat for days (courtesy of partyring) but have been too scared too! And for the first time in days I hit my calorie target for breakfast!
jsw83 WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO LEG LIFTS FOR, sugar burn off straight away anyway :o take it from me, there was a stage in my ED before anorexia, that i used to eat packs of biscuits and lost weight. just to reassure you that a row of milk chocolate willprobably be burnt off by you breathing the next 15 minutes. look at what i ate yesterday (on weight gainers thread). and yes i heard about butter a while back, but i dont personally like the taste :P
today i ate. i woke up and after breakfast said i wasnt going to eat for 3 solid days till friday. WHAT THE HELL ?! good job i just carried on with snack and lunch and planned the rest of the day then :)
does anyone know why i get pains in the left side of my chest after i have cheese- i tested this a number of times?!
honeybanana well done for the PB and oats! i love porridge :) but i have never tried it with pb before. small steps all the way :)
scrunchy yum crumpets it's been so long since i've had any. and good job on getting the calories up :) breakfast is the best meal of the day.
partyring i know :( i was really disappointed in myself. next time i'm going to have it and not compensate. i had a look at your mp for yesterday it looked really good! you're such an inspiration :) also, about the chest pain, i don't know if you're on antideps but in psych (i'm studying it in yr 12) we learnt that some foods like cheese can interact with certain antideps and cause heart issues - i don't want you to worry but and i have no idea if this applies to you but if it keeps going then ask your doctor. i hope it gets better. and WELL DONE :D :D it's so good to see that even after your ed says to not eat you can go and prove it wrong. so proud of you :) it's just bad ed thoughts that try and reverse all of your hard work, so congrats :D ohh and about the butter, i am personally not a fan of butter taste (i prefer margarine) but i haven't tried unsalted butter - does that taste more similar to margarine? i try to go for the more natural of foods (and i guess margarine is human-made, and that butter is more 'natural') so arhghgh it's so hard to decide. at the moment i'm kind of swapping between the two.
after yesterday i don't know if i can have another challenge today :( i'm still feeling bad about the chocolate ....
browny89- Well done on the pancake with syrup AND eating out- that was an amazing step you took! Keep that up and keep on stomping on ed :) *pats you on the back too* :P
jsw83- Ahh yes, I hear you on the expensive bananas! GAH! But it sounds good! Yum with walnuts too? Awesome! Sounds even better!! :) ED's sure do suck -_- Don't feel bad- that's just ED *kicks him away* I'm very proud you had that chocolate! That was a good thing :D It ISN'T going to hurt you at all! Only ed will keep hurting you xxx I hope you are feeling better now.
biorobotics- Woop well done on thanksgiving dinner!! Sounds delicious :D Mmmm pumpkin pie! :D
charlatte987- You keep it up too!! That was really well done with starbucks and eating out- Japanese- yum!! And I haven't tried a frappucino from a coffee place yet.. I think I must one day :) YAY for eating when you got home too- that certainly is sticking it to ED! Keep sticking it to him!!! :D
partyring- I am glad to see you had a sugar day but some sugar every day won't hurt you :) Really proud of that day though despite the breakdown earlier! Keep up the good work :) You are right, every little bit counts :) Thanks :)
honeybanana- Oh YUM!! Well done on the peanut butter!!! I LOVE pb in oatmeal! Not small at all! I'm very proud of you too!!
scrunchy10- Yaaay! I love pb and honey crumpets! Well done :D
lilcarty- YAY for no purging!!!!
Well, following lilcarty, I've realised I'm now about 3 months free of purging :D Today's challenge I guess will be to.. reach a proper amount of intake after my few days of slipping o.O
annabel- yay for the frappuccino! And that's wonderful that you didn't feel guilty (and you shouldn't!)-- it just shows that the rational side of you is getting stronger and the ED is getting weaker. :)
snuffles- Great job breaking ED's rules about eating at church. I know that it can be scary eating around other people (I also have that fear) but the truth is that nobody else is probably paying any attention or judging what you eat. And thanks for the strawberry suggestion- just bought some today!
jsw- Unfortunately I don't have up&go where I live (US), or at least I haven't seen it. I definitely like the calcium idea though-- I'm taking two big calcium pills per day to make sure I get enough! Keep pushing through- DON'T let ED make you feel guilty about this or do anything to compensate. ED is the enemy- not food. What you ate was what your body needed. Hang in there!
biorobotics- You must be Canadian! That's awesome that you had a Thanksgiving dinner and didn't let ED spoil it! :) That's my goal for this Christmas, when I fly up to visit my family-- I want to be able to eat a REAL Christmas dinner with them and NOT let ED take it away like last year. :)
partyring- Thanks for the encouragement. I love PB (and nut butters in general)- it's defiintely something I want to re-introduce into my diet. I guess that's another recovery goal. And great job on challenging your fear of sugar- I don't think what you did was 'unhealthy'-- sugar is energy, and energy is what your body needs!
I won't elaborate too much, other than say I had a particularly tough day of body image and bloating. ED was giving me hell nonstop ALL DAY LONG, every waking minute. But I stuck to my meal plan because I knew if I decreased I'd only feel discouraged and defeated in the end. And yeah, I know I'm still not eating enough, but I'm working with the people who are helping me in recovery to increase slowly-but-surely. I will eat whatever they tell me to eat because right now, I really can't trust myself to think rationally. And I really do want to recover!
My digestive system is gurgling right now, trying its hardest to process the newfound supply of nutrients. And I shall *try* to embrace all the bloating and fullness and gas, because it means it's doing its job.
wow well done everyone!!! partyring hon i am drooling at the thought of peanut butter and honey on a crumpet!! yummmmm. well done to everyone this is a great post hey :)
so so far today i have actually ENJOYED the taste of peanut butter (i am at early stages so just scrape a little on broken up rice cakes) BUT i put it with a little honey too, and a little sugar free jam... i really enjoyed it :) cant wait till i can go all out and have it on something warm and yummy :)
my task today is that i am gonna go starbucks and order a REAL drink, my ed one was an americano with a tiny dash of skimmed milk plus shot of sugar free hazlenut... i'm deciding between the following: a tall chai latte, a tall caramel machiato or a tall white choc mocha.... and do u think for my first try its ok to have skinny milk or shall i brave it and try normal????? scared, and nervous ... which one to choose??? hehe xxxx
browny Yesterday, I had a REAL caramel macchiato. There is just something that is not the same when you get sugar free or skimmed milk. Go all out (it's not that many more calories anyhow)! You'll enjoy it!
Thanks snuffles62 :)
brownu and sarahbarracuda...I need to challenge myself to a real starbucks drink soon too! they have such great fall flavors and no time like right now to take advantage of them!
Today I had avocado (and quite a bit!) in my sushi roll!! Such a nutritious food, not sure why I was ever so afraid.
Tonight I had more then two snacks, and one consisted of a big bowl of cereal! I also had one small handful of goldfish and wheat thins(which I thought was a lot but clearly not)
This week I also started to try and not worry so much about eating, and listening to my body when it is hungry. My meals and snacks are still pretty low calorie so I'm not reaching my goals yet, but I have listened to my body a lot this week so far and fed it when I could tell it wanted something. I watch people in the cafeteria here at college have huge meals and not gain weight and are completely healthy, and I want to do that someday soon!
I had a raspberry muffin which I didn't know the calories of and I had two pieces of gingerbread as well as two oreos. Gosh it sounds like I eat so unhealthily!! But they were yummy :)
I used to fear cereal at night, because it's a breakfast food, but recently I've been having a full meal plan THEN ice cream THEN 2 bowls of cereal every night!
This morning I had 3 weetabix instead of 2 - it's not a big thing but I've never been able to do it before because the serving size given is 2..! So that's a step~
I now, finally, use whole milk! and eat extra thick cut, not wafer thin, ham.
:D xx well done to everyone on this thread!! princessroo don't worry that doesn't sound unhealthy in the SLIGHTEST - it sounds totally normal :) My friends have that and far beyond every day! Well done~!! I'm also thinking about a proper, yummy type starbucks visit in the near future! *just need to finish some ESSAYS and get me some latte time freed up!*